Introduction to Josh's Phobia
I overheard my mother talking to the high school principal about me, but I wasn't surprised. The school nurse told me earlier in the week that Dr. Whipple planned to discuss my refusal to shower after gym class unless I changed my ways immediately. That was a week before, and the gym teacher saw me sneak out after class without showering on Tuesday.
The last thing I heard mom say was, "I'll ask his father to call and schedule a meeting, Dr. Whipple. I don't understand Josh's problem, but Ross will take care of the situation."
I knew I was in trouble because this was the third time someone from the school called. First, it was the gym teacher, then the nurse, and now the principal. It was after 6 PM when dad arrived home from the mill, and mom met him at the door with instructions to call Dr. Whipple, but mom didn't go into details other than to say I had skipped showering after gym again.
Dad and I were tight, and I was sure he'd support me once he knew the details, but I wasn't totally correct. He's a blunt man, and dad said, "Josh you're 18 now and will be graduating in a few weeks. What's the problem with showering after gym class? Mom said this is the third time the school called."
There was no lying to dad because he could see a deer grazing behind a distant tree at 200 yards through a thick fog. I knew I'd need to fess up now or we'd be up all night until he received the horrid truth. I knew my reason for skipping showers was stupid, but I also knew I had a phobia about being naked among a group of guys. I hated it and refused to participate, pure and simple.
Dad knew that I wasn't a troublemaker, and more than one of my teachers had told my mother how caring and helpful I was, and Ms. English, my homeroom teacher called me an angel more than once after she saw me offer a kind hand to a new student or troubled kid that lost a parent from divorce. I always had a kind heart that took the part of less athletic kids that were always selected last when we played sports, but I didn't care to be referred to as an angel. I had some character flaws too, but the one that troubled me most was my phobia about my slow to blossom adolescence.
When I explained my position dad never argued and said he understood and that he'd talk to Dr. Whipple in the morning and see how he could resolve the situation. I had no idea that he had the same issue when he was a young man and that's the reason he didn't lay the law down and tell me to follow the school rules -- or else. When he told me that he suffered from the same anxiety when he was a young man, it made me feel better, because I knew there were no better fathers, and if he could overcome his phobia, I could too. I just needed a few more years.
Equally important was that I never sensed mom was troubled by any shortfalls my father may have had, and as a matter of fact, I knew they had a wonderful marriage. More times than I could remember I caught them tightly embraced slipping off to their bedroom, and I was somewhat ashamed that I listened closely to their sweet times together and heard their bed squeaking long before I headed for bed and dreamed that someday I would be so lucky as my dad.
I knew from when I was in grade school how beautiful and caring my mother was, and how she always seemed to have time for dad after a busy day chasing me around and trying to keep me out of trouble. And dad, well he worshipped mom and treated her royally with affection and for working part-time as a home health nurse while I was in school. She wanted to be home when I stepped off the school bus until I started ninth grade.
Dad sat me down and told me he made arrangements with a very old friend to talk with me and attempt to resolve my resolve to maintain privacy while I went through a troubling state in life. Dad said Dr. Ann Pembroke was a woman that specialized in helping men and women overcome troublesome social issues by recognizing everyone had some personal character flaws and accepting that their partner wasn't perfect, but neither was he or she. He called Dr. Ann a highly trained medical doctor that specialized in psychiatry that graduated from Stanford University, one of the most prestigious medical schools in the world.
As I mustered up my courage in the kitchen to leave for my appointment with dad's shrink friend, I sensed mom was upset that I didn't consult her regarding my problem at school. Mom pulled me into her loving arms and said, Josh, I could have told you there was nothing wrong with you the moment I changed your diaper for the first time. You know that I'm a nurse, and over the eighteen years I've spent loving and caring for you and bandaging your wounds, I saw you develop. Physically, you're as close to perfect as a son could ever be, Josh. Trust me. I know!
I saw that mom was choked up, as tears wept from her eyes and whispered, "Someday Josh, you'll find a woman that knows you are an angel sent from God. She'll need you and recognize your sensitivity to her needs, and she'll offer her love in return for your understanding and compassion." I wasn't sure exactly what mom was talking about, but I also knew she infrequently made a mistake in judgment. After all, she picked out the best possible dad for her only son.
I was happy I had an appointment with Dr. Ann Pembroke, and that I had to go alone. Dad told me that he went to school with Ann Pembroke, and she became a world-renowned psychiatrist and opened her practice in Portland twenty years before. He told me that he explained my school issue, and Dr. Whipple agreed to my suggestion to get you help. "Ann said, after your appointment, she'd talk with your principal and ask to have you excused from gym classes for the remainder of the year." I agreed to make a solid effort to resolve my phobia of being seen naked in front of adult male students.
Dad shoots straight from the hip, and he said he would be in constant communications with Ann, as they were close friends. I had no way of knowing they dated before my mother came into the picture, but I later learned it was before she went to college and they never were involved seriously though she was his date for the senior prom.
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