Memory M First Time Bottom

If you are looking for a porn story this is probably not it... while I include some sex it is not a detailed description of heavy breathing. It's just a fond memory of the first time I fucked a woman and thought she might be submissive.

I knew M was attracted to me. I was horny and wanted a woman so I figured OK, I'll go to dinner with her and see if she was still interested in me sexually. Now that we no longer lived with each other I could lift my "No Sex with a roommate" rule. If it didn't work I did not have to deal with her daily and could back away easily. If it worked I could enjoy her with little commitment. Maybe. I was not really sure if she was still interested now that I had moved out.

We had lived together for a year while we attended grad school. When I first moved in I knew I could have her but I did not want to be tied to one girl or get into what would almost look like a marriage. She was a plain girl, 5' 6" with lank shoulder length thick black hair, slim with tiny breasts but not a hardbody, just thin from not eating a lot and watching her weight. She was also awkward socially. She'd had speech therapy and it seemed that her tongue was a bit too big for her mouth. Generally she was OK to be with but not exciting, slightly shy and dressed conservatively as befitted a psychology grad student.

The first day when I moved in we ended up necking on the couch. I stopped it and set a rule - no sex with a roommate because if things go badly it creates a difficult living situation and could sidetrack our studies at a bad time, like finals. I knew she was interested even as she watched me date and go through a few short relationships with other girls. One time, I was watching late night TV one time when she came home drunk from an office party and literally threw herself into my lap, hugging me and telling me what a nice person I was. I was tempted to fuck her right there but I felt it was dangerous for the living situation. I would also feel guilty since she was drunk. Yes, I'm a "nice guy".

So we spent a year living together without having sex with each other. She never dated anyone while I dated serially. We had the normal minor issues with dishes, cleaning etc. but generally we got along peacefully. Then I got a job offer that I really wanted to pursue but that meant dropping out of grad school. The job was 20 miles away so I moved out. We were still friendly and had met for dinner once just to keep in touch. Now it was time to see if that sexual tug was still there. I did not think of her as girlfriend material but wanted to see if I could get my rocks off on occasion while I kept looking for my next girlfriend... with a more than full time job and mostly men around me it might take a while.

We met for dinner at a diner near her apartment. She wore a white blouse and brown cheap fake leather skirt that was below her knees. Typical functional and acceptable but not sexy clothing. It seemed a little formal since I considered myself an old friend but it told me she thought this was a special dinner. The conversation was the usual catching up on the progress of her Ph.D. studies and subsequent plans, my new job, etc. She asked if I was dating anyone currently and I admitted I was not. I'm not good at catching openings but I was horny. I felt like Groucho Marx as I raised my eyebrows and said: "You know we are no longer roommates...we could go to your apartment and have sex."

"Yes, we could." She said with what sounded like relief and enthusiasm, but then she seemed to focus on eating her pasta for the next few minutes.

When we were done with the main not so memorable course I bluntly asked: "Would you like to go to your apartment or would you like to stay here and talk more over some dessert?"

"We can go to the apartment." was her quick reply. I was not quite sure if I had heard her.

"Are you sure you don't want some dessert?" I gave her another chance to back out.

"No, I don't want dessert but you can have some if you want to." She seemed a little disappointed at the prospect.

"No, I am pretty full." was my reply just as the waitress arrived. The waitress already had the bill but as I reached for my wallet M already had hers out.

"It's my turn to pay, you paid last time." she insisted. I pointed out that I had a job but she was uncharacteristically firm about it. It felt strange since this was the first time a woman I was "on a date with" picked up the bill. And I was still poor and if we were going to see each other, even occasionally, it would be nice to have the girl pick up the bill once in a while. And it felt a little like a playboy fantasy, with me being a gigolo. She paid.

As we entered the apartment I put my hand on her hip and pulled her lightly from behind against my side. She just turned and headed for the bedroom. In the bedroom she turned around and we kissed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

M climbed on the bed and threw herself on her back with her legs and arms spread eagled and eyes closed. I took a few seconds pulling off my pants then I climbed on the bed and flung up the hem of her skirt. She was wearing full panties so I had to pull them off, then I got in position, kneeling between her legs. I lifted her legs and slowly guided my dick into her pussy. As expected, she was very tight and nicely wet. I slid in and out slowly, each time going a little deeper until I was all the way in. Nice.

As I looked up I saw the faux leather skirt I had flung up had covered M's upper torso and face. She had not moved to push it aside or move it at all, just lay there spread wide while I had been focused on positioning her legs and entering her pussy. Her acceptance of the skirt covering her face was a real turn on - I imagined her being my willing sex object and BDSM toy .... I stroked in and out of her pussy a few times enjoying the idea of objectifying her, but old concepts die hard - I thought she would be unhappy being left like that, though I wondered why she did not pull it off her face herself. Reluctantly I reached up and pulled the skirt off her face.

Leaning forward I kissed her. Suddenly her arms came up and wrapped around me pulling me tight in a death grip. I tried fucking her for a few strokes like that but finally pulled back.

"Ease up with your arms, I can't move like I want." Her arms loosened but did not let go. They still constrained my movement and made it hard not to just lay on top of her and crush her.

"Ease up some more" I told her. Her arms released me and dropped to the bed again. I could move and fuck her comfortably. If I told her to change positions she complied right away but I was too horny for a lot of variety. After a few minutes I took her top off so I could play with her little tits and big nipples, but I kept that skirt bunched up around her waist the entire time. I was tempted to throw it over her face again but told myself it would cover her tits, and I wanted to play with her nipples, pulling and twisting gently (by my standards). I did not understand her subservient and masochistic nature at that time and assumed that tossing the skirt over her face would make her unhappy.

From her groans I also assumed that she was enjoying things as I twisted and pulled her large nipples as I banged her. Only years later did she confess that her nipples were very sensitive and that my pulling and twisting them really hurt and she did not really like it. She also confessed that getting fucked often hurt. I really wish I'd known how much she was suffering for my pleasure - hey, those nipples were fun and her pussy was tight and wet. Knowing what I know now would have made it a bigger turn on, though my biggest focus was on the feel of her tight pussy.

I have no idea if she came and it seems to have been irrelevant. She groaned a lot but we mostly stayed in variations of the missionary position. As I finally exploded deep inside her I remember thinking that she might get pregnant but it was OK. She'd said she wanted a baby someday. I kept pumping my come into her for a long time, finally relieving months of pent up demand.

As I rolled off her I started thinking about where this was going to go. I knew I would NOT have to marry her, or if I chose to marry her I could still have other women. Indeed, I don't recall if or when I used condoms over the years that I fucked M. This first time had been a desperation fuck for me. I liked her but I was not in love. I had been horny and needed a pussy. I also realized that she was very inexperienced. If I was going to enjoy fucking her I would have to teach her a few positions. And I was really turned on by the idea that she had not uncovered her face. I thought that I needed to figure out when to have a talk about BDSM with her.

I offered to cuddle but I recall we did not do much cuddling or hugging. Mostly she wanted to lay there on her back, as if trying to keep my sperm inside her. As we lay there I asked her if she had sex before and with how many men. She said she had sex before but could only name one guy. She was being vague but I got the sense that it was rare. I told her that with my new job I did not have a lot of time to date but would like to fuck her again when I had time. Whatever I said seemed to be OK. I had (and still have) a lot to learn about dominance, masochists and women in general.

This is a fond memory highlighted by what I thought of as the hint of submissiveness. Today that would be like a blow from a 16 lb sledge hammer is a hint... but back then I was just fantasizing about BDSM and was still brainwashed by Women's Lib (which is different from equal rights.) Happily, the relationship went on and eventually M became my first spankee... but that is another story.