I passed through airport security and strolled down the aisle to Gate 35. I had flown many times for business and for pleasure, but this was the first time that my destination was not to a place, but to a person.
I'd never met Jason before, but we had corresponded and spoken many times over the past several years. I was wearing the white silk panties he had sent and asked me to wear. It was sexy to receive them and arousing to slip them on. Now I was feeling a bit silly and very thankful that I wasn't stripped searched at security.
It was thirty minutes prior to boarding and I took this time to reflect on how I ended up here.
I believe that life comes in sections, with many stages between birth and death. For simplicity, I've split the stages of my life into decades.
The first decade was uncomplicated and filled with fun and friends. The second decade was the most chaotic, with extremes in ups and downs. Ages twenty to thirty were oriented to career and relationships. Between thirty and forty, children came along and life as I knew it changed. In my forties, career and family were priorities and I was still on the upward slope of my life.
I reached the summit in my fifties and had the time to reflect on what was and what might have been. This is the decade that reality and fantasy became more a part of my life.
Humans are sexual beings and my sexual realities in the second decade of life were confusing. I loved the female form and a firm rounded butt was a sight to behold. I never was attracted to guys, but on several occasions I slept over with a friend who touched my cock and I touched his.
Sexuality was new to me and although the physical touching felt great, I knew that keeping it a secret would be in my best interests. I looked forward to our sleepovers, knowing that I would masturbate him and that I would feel the intense pleasure of orgasms when he masturbated me. I loved to see him spurt and he seemed to be quite happy that I hadn't been able to do that.
In my late teens, I had one sexual encounter with another guy and it involved him sucking me. Although it felt wonderful, I wasn't able to cum. Guilt won out over pleasure and my sexual life with males was put on the back burner. My life would certainly have been different if I had sucked him, but that wasn't in the cards for me.
In my forties, I discovered internet porn. Photos in magazines took a distant second to videos of guys and girls in the act. Seeing a girl sucking a cock and being fucked was such a turn on and the wired world became a huge hit in my books.
After a while of looking at intercourse, my view on what was hot was morphing into something I never thought possible. Instead of imagining being the guy thrusting into the girl, I began to imagine what it would be like to be her. How did it feel to have a cock slip into my pussy? What would it feel like to have a cock spurt cumm deep inside me?
My thoughts on oral sex changed as well. I no longer wanted to be the guy, having my cock licked and sucked. I wanted to be the girl, licking the man's cock and feeling his hot seed cover my face.
I no longer wanted to be a guy. I wanted long hair, shapely breasts, curved thighs and soft pouty pussy lips. Being on all fours, guiding a cock into me was my guiding thoughts in my nightly masturbation ritual. My frustration grew as I realized I wanted to be a woman and not a man.
As I reached the mid-point of my fifties, I had to admit that fantasies are nice, but reality has to be accepted. It was at that point that I began to imagine sucking a cock, not as a female, but as the male I was.
I was fascinated with the thought of sucking a cock. How it would look, how smooth the skin would be and how hot it would be to the touch. It is difficult to put a label on my sexuality and in the end it really didn't matter. I became entirely comfortable with the thought of sucking another man's cock and wanting nothing in return.
I joined a bisexual chat forum and came across a guy who responded very thoughtfully to several of the posts. He was dominant and his writings showed him to be very reflective, informative and courteous. He seemed to be the kind of guy I imagined in my fantasies and we began to share e-mails.
My initial impression of him was reinforced by our correspondence. He is a dominant that appreciates and understands a submissive. There are many 'want-a-be' doms that don't understand the dynamics that surround a Dominant/submissive relationship and he wasn't one of those.
I would have jumped at the chance to meet him, but I was married and he lived at one end of the country and I lived at the other. I wouldn't cheat on my wife and the distance between us was probably a blessing.
Several years passed and my desire to meet Jason ebbed and flowed. Imagining his uncut cock was probably like a drug addict imagining needles and a poppy field. He was my drug of choice and my willpower to not fly out and meet him was tested many times.
That changed when my wife passed away. One month she was healthy and happy and the next month she was bed-ridden with cancer. The end came quickly and so did the life I had known for so long.
Months passed and as the grieving process subsided, thoughts of my sexuality grew. Jason was very understanding and the main roadblock of being married was no longer there. Submitting to Jason was a safe fantasy because I was certain it would never happen. Now, it was possible to meet him and turn fantasy into reality.
I had a burning desire to suck his cock and to be penetrated by him and he had a strong desire to be sucked by another male and to breed him. It was easy to tell him how much I wanted to suck his cock when I knew that in all likelihood it wouldn't happen. But in our recent calls, we spoke of meeting, with specific dates. No longer was it pretend, it was real.
We were compatible in so many ways and liked a lot of the same things. We both enjoyed hiking, camping and the outdoors. Sexually, he is very 'manly' and I'm the opposite - 'womanly'. Our erotic chats had primarily been about oral, but that changed to oral and intercourse. When he spoke of breeding me, my temperature would rise and my pulse would flutter.
He said he loved his wife, but had a strong desire to have a male wife. I thought that was weird when he first mentioned it, but I found myself masturbating to the thought of him breeding me and making me his wife. The image of him cuming inside me made my orgasms more powerful than ever.
The time had come for me to decide whether I really could do the things I had imagined. When Jason and I had first spoke, I expressed my desire to suck a cock, but had no thoughts of kissing another man. Now I was ending my emails to him with Best Wishes and Kisses and Hugs. The thought of a kiss was so gross in the beginning, but now I imagined him leaning towards me and brushing his lips against mine.
I had changed and it frightened and thrilled me.
We arranged to meet for a week in June and reality smacked me hard when I opened a small package and saw the black panties with a note embossed in gold. "Sweetheart. You've been in a cocoon for so long and I know the butterfly that you are destined to be. Wear these for me and more importantly, wear them for you. Kisses ... Jason. PS. Dreams do come true."
I became more apprehensive as the plane crossed the country and began its descent. I had dreamed about this trip so many times and now the reality was hitting me like a slap in the face. Each minute was taking me closer to a destiny that was uncertain and confusing.
The plane taxied to the terminal and I was the last to exit the airplane. Jason had arranged to meet me at the airport and we would spend the week in his cabin. Although my brain was sending signals of trepidation, my cock was twitching and rubbing against the smooth silk.
I stepped on the escalator down to the luggage circle and noticed Jason standing near a cement pillar. He was in his mid-fifties, tall with shimmering strawberry blonde hair. His tan and the size of his arms showed he worked many hours physically and outdoors. He was a handsome guy and I did want to see his cock for real, but I had no idea what I would do if he wanted to kiss me.
Jason smiled when he saw me and I couldn't help but smile and blush back. It's strange to tell a guy you want to suck his cock, but its alot stranger coming face to face with him. We shook hands and I was relieved to see how genuinely happy he was to see me.
I grabbed my suitcase and we walked through the parking lot. I caught a glimpse of the mountains and if there was a time to turn back, this was it.
"I'm really glad you came," Jason said.
"It's nice to see you. For the longest time I never thought this would happen and even now it doesn't seem quite real."
