Does a married, straight, heterosexual male like myself wake up one morning and suddenly decide to become a cock sucker? Of course not. Like most people I traveled a long and winding road to get where I am today.
I have read a lot of explanations about why committed, heterosexual men become cock suckers, and have found that although there are some similarities, we all took a different path getting there. Some guys started out experimenting with close friends or relatives as they reacted to their growing sexual awareness, some were cast into it at the hands of others, then there were some who just grew into the role as we aged. I belong to the latter.
When puberty reached out and I suddenly realized that my penis was for more than urinating, let's say I took matters in my own hands and had as much fun as I could with it. My group of friends were as horny as any other, and we were always cruising to find some chicks to pork, but we never indulged each other in any hands on experiments. At least, they never did with me personally.
As a young graduate from college, my training took me to the city, where my small town street smarts were given a test. I was befriended by a somewhat older gentleman and eventually he propositioned to join him and some others, my age, in some man to man fun. I was repulsed so much so that I was physically sick and threw up. I was not, that 'way', In fact, I had just met the girl, I was going to marry and raise a family with. How could anyone think I was a homo? I was more than a bit put off by the fact that anyone would ever think I was anything other than a straight male.
Married life agreed with me. My wife and I enjoyed a rather varied and interesting sex life. We played games and bought toys. I was the one looking for something new and different and she played along with me, most of the time. There were periods of time, when she wondered why I just wasn't happy with what we were doing. Why did I have to try new things and change things up all the time.
I can point to one factor in my life that led me to want more and different sex. Penthouse. I was introduced to the magazine by a friend, who had passed on his well read copy. The pages were well worn but thankfully not stuck together. After checking out the obvious, photographs of very sexy women, I read a few of the articles. (Just what every guy says when he gets caught with a porn mag.) Then there were the letters of Penthouse Forum. I kind of stumbled onto them by mistake, but once I found them, I was hooked. I read and re-read most of the sexy missives and did a lot of masturbating to them. I often imagined myself as the recipient of many a strange piece of ass or blow job. The sexy wife stories also got my attention as they fucked their neighbors, deliverymen, or tradesmen. This was the beginning of my cuckold fantasy as my mind thought about watching my wife getting wild with another man, or men. I couldn't get enough of the Penthouse letters and bought my own magazines so I didn't have to wait for any more used editions. (For clarification, I refer to cuckolding in it's strictest dictionary meaning. "A man who's wife is having sex with other men.")
A big development came when my wife took on a new patient in her home nursing career. He was an older black man who was a quadraplegic. I met him a couple of times, when I was in the area and he always praised my wife as being the best nurse he had ever had. Coincidentally, there was a letter in the Penthouse Letters that was about a paralyzed black man and his white home care nurse. It seems that he wasn't quite as paralyzed as his Doctors had diagnosed him to be. Only in the fantasy world of porn magazines, the black patient and his white nurse end up fucking in his bed.
Then, one day, my wife tells me that her patient was all excited, telling her that he could feel her touching his black cock when she bathed him. My wife thinks he was doing it just to gauge her reaction to it. Of course, being a dirty minded guy, I asked her if it was possible for that to happen. Describing it as impossible, my wife tried to pass it off as just another day in the life of a home care nurse. Pressing the issue, I had to ask if the myth about black men was true and had her tell me all about his cock. She said it was just a normal, average cock. Nothing special, except, it was black. She seemed to be a bit puzzled that I would be so interested in another man's cock, and honestly, so was I. But a chord was struck inside me, and it was not about to abate anytime soon.
When I thought there was a good chance that we were going to have sex, I tried to work in some conversation about her patients and how she might enjoy handling all of those different cocks on a daily basis, with bathing, catheterizing and performing her nursing duties. It seemed to me, maybe because I wanted to believe it, but whenever I got talking about her handling black cock, she really got into it more. This was not only feeding into my cuckold fantasies, but also my ever strengthening big, black cock desires. The seed was planted and growing every day.
It was somewhere near my 50th birthday when I heard those words that no married man ever thinks he will hear from his wife. We were sitting around one night eating a pizza and sipping wine while watching a movie when she said, out of the blue, a saying that I had been trying to impress on her for years. It was basically that if it feels good, do it. She had worried a lot about how some things went against her strict upbringing and guilt would creep into our bedroom antics.