I love to suck cock. There, I said it. I love to be on my knees at the mercy of a dominant, alpha male, submitting to his will. Nothing makes me happier than his strong hands patting the top of my head after he's used my mouth for his pleasure. But it hasn't always been the case.
Growing up, I always felt different than I knew I should. I liked girls and found them very attractive. I masturbated to images of naked women. But, for most of my adolescence, my interactions with girls were awkward. I was a small guy. Barely 5'6", 130 lbs, soaking wet. Girls tended to treat me as more of a friend than a potential mate. And, because of that, they told me a lot of things that I know they would never tell a guy that they found truly attractive.
To make matters worse, I have an extremely small penis. It is barely longer than my thumb when fully erect and about as big around. And, when soft, it shrivels to a tiny button that is almost unnoticeable. For much of my youth I barely gave it a second thought but that quickly changed when I got to high school. My first trip to the showers after baseball practice made me realize that, at least in one way, I was very different from most of the other boys.
My father was a professional baseball player whose career ended prematurely due to injury. He is a big man. He stands over 6'5". Despite my size, from a very early age, my father wanted me to play baseball as well. The boys that I grew up playing baseball with had long since grown bigger and faster than me by the time we got to high school. I already knew in my heart that I didn't have a future playing baseball but as I stood in that shower after that first baseball practice I knew for sure that it was my last day on the team.
No one said a word to me that day but I could feel every set of eyes sneaking glances. I burned with shame as I heard the giggles and caught the raised eyebrows. I rushed through my shower and quickly dressed and left. I decided then and there I wouldn't be back. I dreaded telling my father that I'd quit but I knew I would never be able to bear the shame of returning to that shower with my teammates. And, I never went back. Instead, I focused on individual sports the rest of high school and was fortunate enough to earn an athletic scholarship to play tennis in college.
Throughout the rest of my high school years, I continued to be very attracted to girls and formed many intimate friendships with them. Unfortunately, they were not physically intimate. I remember having long talks with my "girlfriends" about the boys they liked, their insecurities and their budding sexual experimentation. I found myself identifying more and more with those girls than I ever did with my male friends. Looking back now, I am certain that most of them knew long before I did that one day I would give in to the feelings that were just starting to grow inside me.
I also spent much of the rest of my high school days feeling guilty for letting my father down by quitting the baseball team. Although I think he realized soon after I quit that I did not have the physical gifts to play baseball longer than I did, it was his passion, and I hated letting him down. I still loved the game and eventually we were able to get past the disappointment by sharing that passion and becoming rabid fans of our hometown team. But, at the end of every game, a vivid picture of what was going on in the locker room shower flooded my mind.
That memory was never too far from my consciousness and, for a long time, fueled a fear of being seen naked by anyone. My senior year in high school I did actually have a few opportunities to move past the friendship stage with a couple of girls but both of those attempts were frustrating exercises that left me confused and self conscious. Worse yet, in both cases, the girl was uninterested in trying again. It was during this time that my well-worn masturbation fantasies with women began to give way to visions of being caught masturbating in that locker room shower by my teammates. And, the more I tried to erase that picture from my mind, the more it excited me. By the time I graduated high school I was really confused and unsure of myself.
When I got to college, I was assigned a room in the athletic dormitory and I shared that room with another freshman tennis player my first year. It was a nice room with a private bath and a small kitchenette that we were lucky to get as freshmen. Those rooms were typically reserved for upperclassmen and, due to a larger than normal freshman class, we were selected at random to live there. It was a pretty uneventful first year that passed quickly. My roommate had a girlfriend who lived off campus and I rarely saw him outside of practice. Unfortunately for him, he not only came home infrequently, he rarely went to class and ended up flunking out after his freshman year. When I returned to campus for the start of my sophomore year, I had a new roommate and my life was about to change forever.
Brian was a baseball player who had just transferred from another school. He was a junior but he was 2 years older than me because he had red shirted his freshman year. And he was huge. 6'4" and 250 lbs of pure muscle. I was in shock initially and struggled to introduce myself. After spending most of my freshman year virtually living alone, I now had to get used to living with a full-grown man who felt like he had his own gravity. He seemed to fill the entire room. Every time I moved I felt like I would bump into him. I couldn't look in any direction without him being in my field of vision. Over the first few weeks, though, we slowly got used to each other and settled into a routine. But, I constantly wondered how I was going to make it through an entire year without him seeing me naked.
Fortunately, he had early morning workouts with the team. He would get up well before me, shower and be on his way before I ever had to do so. I'm usually a heavy sleeper so most mornings I never even knew he was gone until I woke up. About a month into living together, though, I did wake up while he was in the shower. I didn't need to be up so I pulled the covers over my head and tried to fall back to sleep. When he finished his shower, I heard him come back into the room and begin to get ready to leave. As he brushed his teeth I had an overwhelming urge to look at him so I slowly pulled back the covers for a peek. What I saw sent a jolt through my entire body.
He was standing at the sink in the kitchenette completely naked. He had his back to me so I slowly took in his broad shoulders and muscular arms. His torso formed a perfect V to his waist and from there I followed the curve of his ass and powerful legs. I couldn't stop looking. When he bent over to rinse the toothpaste from his mouth, I could see his balls hanging between his legs. And then he turned around. The sight of his cock almost made me gasp. My little penis was instantly erect although I did not even realize it until he left. My entire body was so hot that I thought I was going to suffocate under those covers but I could not look away. It hung there, magnificently sheathed in its foreskin still glistening from his shower. It was all I could do to keep still and pretend I was still asleep.
Finally, he got dressed and left. I immediately reached between my legs and found my boxers soaked with pre cum. I stroked my self with my thumb and forefinger two times and came immediately. I laid there for another hour reliving the scene in my head and finally got up and went to class. But I didn't learn much that day. All I could think about was what had happened that morning. I couldn't believe it. I had never felt attracted to another man in my life but I couldn't deny how aroused I had been. And I couldn't help thinking about how I was going to continue living with him after what had happened.
Over the next few weeks, that scene played out several more times. Him walking around our room naked, me peeking through the covers until he left and then quickly cumming all over myself once he was gone. Then one night he came home late, after I was already asleep in bed. He had been drinking and made enough noise to wake me up. I didn't let him know I was awake but, this time, I didn't have my covers pulled over my head. I heard him begin to undress and wanted to watch. I slowly opened my eyes and found that the only light that was on was the bathroom. Our room was mostly dark so I felt safe opening my eyes a little more. I watched him undress and climb in bed. He left the light on in the bathroom so I could clearly see his outline as he rolled over on his side and faced the wall. After a few minutes he began to breathe deeply and I figured he had passed out. As I was on the verge of falling back to sleep myself, he suddenly rolled back over on his back and he was fully erect. And so was I.
In the dark, his cock seemed to be the size of my forearm. As he began to slowly stroke himself, his foreskin slipped back and forth over the perfectly formed head. I was fascinated. Again, I began to gush pre cum but I dared not move. His pace began to increase, slowly at first and then rapidly as he felt his climax nearing. Then, with a couple of rapid, urgent final strokes, he came all over his stomach and chest and it was over. I had already cum without touching myself minutes before he did. All I could smell was cum. I'm sure the whole room smelled like cum. Brian soon fell asleep on his back, uncovered. I continued to watch him as his chest moved slowly up and down, his now flaccid cock laid over to one side pointing at me as if to taunt me. I slowly reached down between my legs and ran my fingers through the wet mess I had created. I raised my fingers to my lips and tasted my cum while imagining licking up the wet mess on Brian's stomach. I quickly came again and fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up at my usual time. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see Brian hadn't moved. He was laying flat on his back, completely naked and uncovered, and sound asleep. I resisted the urge to lie there and watch him sleep and I quietly slipped in the bathroom for a shower. As I scrubbed all the dried cum off myself I couldn't help but smile about what had happened the night before and I hoped it wouldn't be the last time. When I finished my shower I walked back into the room and Brian still hadn't moved. He was still fast asleep but he now had a full erection. I never dreamed I would see it again so soon and was staring at it as I contemplated sneaking back in to bed to watch when he slowly opened his eyes.
