This is an honest telling of my first time, with all of the quirks and less-than-fantasy details. It is told from my memory of how I was thinking while it happened. I have tried to capture the awkwardness and the innocence as I remember it.
Janelle was an art major, and I was an electrical engineering major. We were a good contrasting pair. Both of us had never had a serious relationship before. She was from Canada, a child of Dutch immigrants. I was from Arizona, with no strong heritage except suburban American desert life. Janelle was an artist through and through. She wore round leather shoes, argyle socks, plaid pants, rugby shirts, and homemade scarves and hats.
She came from a family five sisters. All were platinum blonde, tall and very European looking, except for her. She was beautiful in a quiet, unassuming, organic way. Her hair was brown, her eyes were brown, she was medium height, with wide womanly hips and a slight pook in her belly. Her face was kind and sweet, with wrinkles of good humor creased into the corners of her eyes.
We were both extreme idealists who lived on a plane of impracticality that only college students can exist on. We got to know each other when a mutual friend invited us and a few other friends on a spring break trip to his uncle's house in Regina, SK. We talked and flirted for a week. We chased geese at the park and tried to avoid falling poop. She put cornrows in my bushy blonde curly hair. We stayed up late playing cards at the uncle's kitchen table, telling stories and getting to know each other.
Coming back to the university, we went on a walk along the river one night. We were enjoying our conversation so well that we walked to the end of the river trail and realized that it was very late and we had a long walk back. We didn't care though, until it started to rain. We were freezing, and walking next to each other she leaned into me. I felt her slender shoulder bones against my chest, and her feminine form pressed into mine as she tried to steal some of my warmth. I put my arm over her shoulder, and she took my hand and placed it over her breast. I was giddy from the cold and the thrill of her body and the permission of her gesture. We drove back to the apartments on campus, and I felt like my heart would burst from joy as I dropped her off and said good night.
Since we had the same group of friends, we saw each other all the time. I wrote her long letters with love notes, philosophical ponderings, interesting things that had happened to me, anything. She would reply back with similar letters, and we relished the communication and the attention that we gave each other.
Janelle lived in an apartment with 3 other girls. The apartment had three bedrooms. The girls paired off between two of the bedrooms and filled the third bedroom with couches to use it as a movie theater with a projector.
We would watch documentaries together in that room but quickly get lost in kissing and forget about the show. After a few hours, we would be parched with thirst and bashfully exit the room into the living space where the other roommates would look at us with raised eyebrows and knowing smiles. I would be bashfully covering the giant wet spot on my pants where the precum had soaked through.
On a Friday evening, I picked up March of the Penguins and then came over to Janelle's apartment. I asked her roommates who were seated around the table eating spaghetti if they wanted to watch it.
"No thanks," was their response, and then Janelle came out of the bathroom wrapping her wet hair up in a towel.
"Want to hang out tonight?" I asked her, though we both knew it was what we always do.
"Of course!" and she walked into the theater room. She dropped with a sigh of escaping stress onto the couch and pulled the pillow onto her lap, crossing her legs. I sat next to her, put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her against my chest.
The show started, and she leaned over, laying across my lap, tipping her chin back so that her face was under my face. I touched my nose to her freckled nose and gently rubbed them together, letting my lips occasionally brush lightly across hers. We continued this for many minutes, enjoying the slow arousal and gentleness of our touch.
I let my fingertips follow the underside of her jaw and then dragged them lightly up and down her neck. Her skin was pale and soft. I flattened to my hand and curled it behind her neck and felt how the hairs came out of the base of her neck. I gently massaged the two row of muscles on either side of her backbone. As I brushed my lips on hers, and she lifted her chin and pressed her mouth against the mine more firmly. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and gently felt my teeth. I softly probed my tongue with her tongue. We held our mouths together, gently breathing, sharing the same breath, whispering the word "oh" as our arousal built. I could feel my erection straining and about to burst as pre-cum was leaking into my boxers. Today was different than other days. Janelle was feeling more excited than before, we both had no pressing homework to work on, the whole evening was it open and ours. We had no company of friends, and the only thing that was not moving slowly was our hearts and the blood racing to our mid sections.
Janelle leaned back more so that she was lying across my lap, her head resting on my leg. "Do you want to see my breasts?" she asked in a quiet, shy voice with her eyes half shut and flames dancing behind her lids.
She lifted up her shirt to her neck, pulling her bra with it. I reached under her back and fumbled with her bra strap for a while until the tension released and the two cloth cups pulled up to the bundle of her shirt at her neck.
"Do you like them? I think they look the best when I am laying on my back like this." I could see flash of insecurity in her eyes.
These were the first breasts that I could remember seeing with my own eyes. The skin was incredibly pale and soft looking. The brown skin around her nipples had little bumps like goosebumps, and the skin around that had a few random black hairs, and the rest of the hairs on her breasts were very fine blonde peach fuzz. Her nipples where wrinkly circles that came out like soft brown peas. I did not know what I was expecting, but I loved them because they were hers and I loved her, and they were so real. I thought to myself, "this is what a woman really looks like." And I adored everything about her. The little black hairs were great. The bumpy skin was great. It was all like I was made to love it.
"Wow." I am stunned. "You are stunning. I love you, you are beautiful."
I gently kissed each of her nipples, and she smiled her private smile.
I kept my hand around one breast and just held it there while I kissed her mouth.
