"If days of the week were raunchy sex acts, Monday would undoubtedly be a dry, passionless, handjob..."
I started drinking young and it wasn't uncommon for me and my friends to hang out by the liquor store in the strip mall down in Riverbend to try and get someone to buy us booze. Unlike most kids our age we didn't want beer or coolers to take to a party; we were after the hard stuff - like whiskey or vodka - and we'd go up to the ridge in Lynwood, or down to Carburn Park and drink by ourselves before the parties so we didn't have to share. By the time I was old enough I was drinking a 40oz bottle of hard liquor almost every weekend and because most of my friends had older siblings it was easy to get into college parties that were dominated by the older groups as they were held at friends' houses while their parents were out, and if the older siblings didn't let us attend we'd turn snitch and inform the parents what happened in their absence.
Anywhere there's kids experimenting with alcohol - drugs weren't far behind, and in my crowd that was primarily weed. The older crowd would find it especially funny to get us drunk or high so they could watch our antics, so while others were developing and exploring their sexuality at a normal pace - doing things like playing spin the bottle - I was hanging out with a group who were having sex or doing drugs and they weren't shy about it. I was at a party that Decklun's older brother was hosting at their house - there was a death in his family and his parents were out of town for the weekend. We didn't get over to Decklun's place until late so by the time we got to the party we found a group of about fifteen people who were heavily intoxicated or high; playing a game of truth or dare.
Me and Decklun immediately asked if they had any hard liquor for us, or even beer as we were dead sober and desperate - but Decklun's older brother (Elliot) said we could only have booze if we "earned it". Ok in the past this usually meant showing his friends how big a bong hit we could take, then doing a stupid task like streaking thru the park so we agreed - but little did we realize we would be the ONLY focus of their dares. It was Elliots turn to pick the next person to choose between truth or dare, so he selected one of his male friends who decided he'd take a dare - but Elliot announced that instead of the older party-goers doing dares they got to pick between me and Decklun, and could make us do something stupid so we could earn some booze...
"Ok I dare the big one (me; at 6'5 I was bigger than most the older guys at the party) to go on someone's lawn and drop his pants - mooning the house while Decklun rings the doorbell... he's not allowed to move until someone comes out to yell at him" he announced. WOW - Talk about an uncreative dare... me showing my ass was no big deal; especially to strangers! I knew that I could knock this out quickly so I got up to go outside and the party followed. With the festivities successfully moved outdoors I got the guy who issued the dare to pick a house and I did exactly as I was instructed. Everyone had a good laugh, then we started going back down the street to return to the house but one of the girls decided she wanted to dare Decklun to strip naked - so he had to walk the rest of the way home in his birthday suit. Decklun was much like me and lacked shame; so he accepted the dare without hesitation and disrobed.
The older kids were getting a kick out of using us as their puppets, so as soon as we arrived back at the house Elliot poured us both generous drinks and he asked the group who was going next - but not before telling Decklun to get dressed because the little guy was so focused on getting drunk he hadn't bothered putting his clothes back on when we got to the house. One of the guys decided for this turn me and Decklun had to take the biggest hoot possible off of the glass water-bong, then wrestle each other while holding the smoke in our lungs; first person to pin the other gets a drink. Elliot packed a bowl and we smoked as instructed, then we started wrestling in the middle of the living-room. Right out of the gate I grabbed Decklun by the hips then took him to the ground quite aggressively; causing him to exhale when he impacted the floor, and as soon as the smoke came out of Decklun's mouth one of the girls yelled "PARTY FOUL; The big guy wins!" Then everyone laughed as Elliot poured me a drink and offered Decklun a hoot off the bong as a consolation prize.
"Ok, I dare your brother to motorboat Lisa for ten seconds..." one of the girls yelled out (Jesus how is that even a dare? Any guy in the room would love to do that!) Without even a second of hesitation Decklun hopped up from his seat, then asked what girl was Lisa; once the target was identified Decklun enthusiastically dove between her tits and motor-boated her for like a minute - he was so enamoured that Lisa had to push him off to end the turn! Decklun's antics got a great reaction from the crowd, so as everyone was laughing and cheering Elliot poured him a drink. It was now my turn to do something and I was getting the feeling it was going to be another lame dare because a few of the guys were in a little huddle, and they looked like their combined IQ was equivalent to their shoe size!
"Ok, I dare the big guy to play the rest of the game in his boxers, BUT, he also has to motorboat Lisa; then Lisa has to tell us who did it better..." (So this dude might be as bright as Alaska in December, but he was now officially my hero, and my new favorite person at the party!) I had zero hesitation pulling off my shirt, then I dropped my pants before making my way over to Lisa to stick my head between those perfect tits that were calling me to them like a sirens song calls ships to the rocks!
I was eager to start my turn, and I did my best to outdo Decklun as I rubbed my face on Lisa's chest until she ended my onslaught by pushing me off. Elliot immediately asked; "So, who was better?"
Lisa thought about it for a minute but ultimately she pointed to over to Decklun. "What!? How was his better?" I asked; protesting the decision.
"He used his tongue... and his turn was more gentle" Lisa explained.
"Well shit; I didn't know that we were allowed to use our tongues - I've been training for a situation like that my whole life!" I exclaimed as I was trying to justify my lacking performance - it's true I was proud of my oral skills; some people could tie cherry stems with their tongues - well I could solve Rubix cubes!
"Ok, I'll give you BOTH one more chance, but this time it's a contest to see who can give me the sexiest performance on my chest and neck! You've gotta try turning me on by using only your mouths... but your buddy has to strip down to his boxers as well because I want some eye candy... sound fair?" Lisa asked, and suddenly all the other guys were wishing they were in our shoes.
I don't think Lisa had finished her sentence before Decklun dropped his pants, then peeled off his shirt to conform to the request. "What do we get if we win?" Decklun inquired - expecting to be told how many drinks the winner received after.
