i got off the bus in Providence and scanned the old buildings and the dismal streets, not feeling especially free. It was dark and i didn't have more than $20 in loose change in a baggy in my pocket. i was wearing jeans and a tee shirt and a denim jacket. i found a park bench to sit on and held my backpack in my lap. my options were few.
i was hungry.
"Hey."
i looked up and saw a man, older, fat, wearing glasses. He was wearing a gray suit and glasses. i gave him the best attitude i could muster at age 18. i could smell his need on him.
"Hey, yourself."
"Are you..." he asked, uncertain. "Working?"
i gave him a doubtful look. i understood the question. He wanted to pay me to have sex with him. i had turned a few tricks in Springfield, where i grew up, the first couple of times i ran away. But i was far from home now, and i didn't know if the rules were somehow different here in Providence.
"Maybe," i said, smiling it him, hugging my backpack tighter, leaning forward. "Depends on what you're looking for and how much you're willing to pay, Sir."
i hated the fact that the word "sir" escaped from me. But i was too well trained. He was a man, and i couldn't help but see him as deserving of my respect. my father had drilled this into me since i was old enough to understand, and there's no escaping such deep psychological conditioning.
The man didn't seem to read anything into the word, though. He said, almost shyly, "Oral? Twenty bucks?"
i nodded. Then i looked around. There weren't a lot of places to suck a guy off in the park without being seen.
"I have an office," said the man, "just behind the Biltmore."
i was new to Providence but i knew the Biltmore. It had a neon sign that was hard to miss and it was right on the edge of the park I was sitting in.
"Okay. Let's go," i said, standing up.