My problems really started on 17th July 1958 and it was largely because of my big dick and Jake Roberts. My name is Paul and in 1958 I was eighteen years old. I'm 6.0" tall with sandy coloured hair. I haven't got a six pack and I am not all that good looking. I like to think I have a nice caring personality and a pleasant nature. I do a bit of cycling, mainly time trials which keeps me fairly fit although its reflected mainly in the legs and shoulders.
When I was sixteen I got a Saturday job in the local hospital portering patients around, collecting X-rays and taking specimens to the Path. Lab. It wasn't a pressure job and I got to meet lots of people and have a chat for two or three minutes. In those days the nurses learnt their skills "on the job" so there was plenty of young student nurses for me to ogle and fantasize about. After working there for two years I knew almost everyone and they knew me.
During my time there there had been one or two medical emergencies and in those situations its all hands to the pump. I helped out the best I could without getting in the way of the nurses and doctors by doing anything non medical. Generally this meant looking after the traumatised relatives. There was once such incident where I ended up pressing down hard on the artery on a bloke's leg to stop it pumping blood out of the huge gash immediately below my hands. After the patient had been stabalised and sent of the the theatre the Registrar had put his arm round my shoulders and said "You did good son." "You can think on your feet, you don't panic and you seem to know instinctively what to do." "You'd make a good nurse or maybe even a doctor."
I had seen how much a doctor could affect the lives of patients and I began to realise that maybe this is what I would like to do with my life. I began to lead quite a reclusive existence as I banged away at the books into order to ensure I got good enough grades to get into medical school. In fact I found I had an aptitude for it and really enjoyed learning about the bone structure, blood and nervous systems and functions of the various organs of the human body. Also being a horny young man I was particularly enthralled by female anatomy and the female reproduction system. At that age the thought of eventually specialising in gynaecology was particularly appealing.
I did take out one or two of the student nurses and was privately pleased with my attempts at seduction. I even managed to get my hand on a nice soft breast for a few moments. I felt it wasn't a lack of skill that was holding me back but a lack of opportunity. I quickly realised that seduction was a slow process with plenty of kissing and caresses on any exposed skin before one could venture into forbidden territory. That was the problem. Remember in 1958 youngsters did not have cars. There was no where to go apart from the back row of the cinema and even that was a bit too public. Making out at either her or my home was fraught with danger and generally inhibiting. After all the aim was to get the object of your desire into such state she would be screaming in ecstasy so it had to be somewhere where noise wouldn't be a problem.
So, after the summer exams in the June 1958 there I was at eighteen on my way to medical school in September. I'd asked if there was any jobs going in the summer holidays so I could earn some cash before I went to school and was told to report for work on the first Monday of the holidays.
The work was quite varied and I really did not know what I would be doing from one day to the next. Things went great for about three weeks then on the fateful day I was working outside in the grounds with Jake cutting back the tree branches. These were covering some of the hospital signs and also were in danger of bringing down the overhead telephone cables when the branches swayed in the wind. We had a chain saw and a small cherry picker on a truck so the work was not too hard. I did not mind being outside as it was a lovely warm sunny day.
Now Jake was a bit of a "jack the lad" and in this particular job he was technically my boss so he naturally took the easiest job driving the truck from one tree to the next and reading the paper while I was cutting down the branches. He only got out of the cab to move the branches off the road. We were going to return in the afternoon with a flatbed truck to collect the branches. Ideally the cherry picker should have been lowered and I should have got in the cab of the truck while we were driving but as the journeys between the trees was not that long we just lowered the cherry picker and I stayed in the cage.
Of course I knew Jake. Nobody could work at the hospital and not know Jake. Jake was a charmer with a smooth glib tongue. Every woman he met was fair game to Jake. In no time at all he was telling them how beautiful they were and coming out with some really corny lines. Despite the corny lines, which I'm sure the ladies recognised as well, before you'd knew it they were lapping it up and simpering and looking all coy. They were almost putty in his hands.
Sometimes he would be quite lewd and tell them what gorgeous tits or arse they had professing that he would give a weeks wages to be allowed to kiss and suck them (either) for a day. Of course they would profess to be shocked and outraged but as Jake carried on with his patter you could see that they were secretly quite thrilled that their attributes would have such an effect upon a man. It was really quite amazing watching quite chaste matronly ladies turn into coy sexy vamps under Jake's administrations.
The comedian, Frank Carson, had a catch phrase "It's the way I tell 'um" and Jake was exactly the same. He didn't tell jokes though, he told stories. While these stories had an element of truth in them he would embellish and exaggerate the story with little asides and anecdotes which had us all laughing hilariously long before he got to the end of the story.
Chapter 2
There was nothing to indicate the 17th July 1958 would be unusual. I had met up with Jake in the workshop at about 8.45am where he was in full flow with of one of his stories to all the works staff. Jake was making no attempt to start work and I had about two or three cups of coffee. It wasn't until almost 10.15am that we actually went out to start work.
I made the mistake of not going to the toilet before we started so there I am stuck in the cherry picker cage and by 10.30am I am dying for a pee. I'm sure you can imagine then how I felt like by the time we knocked off for lunch at 1.00pm. My cock felt so stiff and hard I could have punch a hole the wall with it. It felt exactly like the hard-on you get when you wake up in a morning after you've been out on the town the night before. It was bad enough climbing out of the cherry picker and trying to walk to the workshops and toilet.
You know the feeling. You've been holding it in so long that as soon as you know you're going to be able to go you relax a bit and then have a job not peeing straight away. There I was trying to walk as fast as possible while almost cross legged and squeesing my cock through my trousers. By the time I staggered into the toilet I was absolutely desperate and just about ready to pee my pants. Then I had a problem.
My cock was so stiff I couldn't get it out of my fly. I couldn't let go of my cock until I was ready to pee so I was trying to do everything one handed. I struggled and struggled but couldn't last any longer and just drop my trousers and underpants to my ankles as the only way to relieve the excruciating pain. Then I had another problem.
My cock wouldn't bend to point at the urinal. It was so stiff and hard it wouldn't bend in the middle and when I tried to bend at the base I couldn't pee and it bloody hurt. So, in the end I stood about two or three feet away from the urinal and peed straight up into the air. Now the idea was to aim at the urinal but it took sometime to judge the flow and the pressure so some went on the floor but I promised myself I would clean it up later.
You can picture it can't you? I'm standing there stark naked from the waist down, trousers and underpants round my ankles, standing three feet from the urinal peeing into the air like a fire hose with a look of total bliss on my face. It was then that Jake walked into the toilet. He stopped with a surprised look on his face.
"Jesus H Christ!, He gawped taking in the scene.
"Oh my God! The last time I saw prick that big it was on a fucking dray horse."
As my cock started to shrink the arc of the flow of urine was also decreasing and I had to move towards the urinal in order to ensure my pee hit its target. Have you ever tried to walk with trousers around your ankles while peeing at the same time and avoiding the mess on the floor? By this time Jake had seen how hilarious the whole scenario was and had become hysterical with laughter.
Eventually I managed to stop peeing, pull up my underpants and trousers, mop the floor with toilet paper and wash my hands. Jake, of course was still having hysterics. He was holding his stomach and there were tears in his eyes. He would seem to calm down for a bit then he would walk forward like a penguin with his lower arm stuck out from his crotch and then burst into another fit of laughter. This was supposed to be a demonstration of me waddling forward with my trousers around my ankles.
So it was with a slight smile on my face, and Jake still having a periodic fit of giggles, that we left the toilet and made our way to the canteen. We got served at the counter and Jake made a beeline for a large table with a group of staff eating their lunch. It was quite obvious that the recent "incident" was to become one of Jakes stories.
As I said Jakes stories are a work of art. In no way are they rushed so he started with my "walk" from the cherry picker. Of course every aspect was totally embellished and exaggerated. The objective was not to tell the truth but to make people laugh and he was a past master at that. He even had me laughing and I was the butt of this story.
Now Jake appeared to have a particularly special relationship with Sheila, one of the canteen ladies. Sheila was about 28 years old quite slim with what looked like a firm 34C tits and light naturally coloured blonde shoulder length hair. She was very pretty, had a natural personality, a great sense of humour and she wasn't fazed by the men's ribald comments. She was married but her husband was abroad somewhere in the Army. I didn't know whether Jake had got into her knickers but if he hadn't I felt it wouldn't be long before he did.
She came round to the table supposedly collecting the crockery but really to find out what all the hilarity was about. While Jake was telling his story and everyone was laughing he pulled her onto his knee and carried on telling the story.
When he got to the part where I'm naked from the waist down with my prick sticking up he really went to town. According to Jake my prick was two foot long, as thick as a drainpipe with a knob end the size of tennis ball. The power of my urine was so strong that I had to hold my cock with two fists while this uncontrollable monster was spraying a half inch thick stream of urine all over the toilet. He repeated the statement that I could probably fuck a dray horse and it wouldn't know the difference.
