A Blessing in Disguise -

As many of you can imagine, there's fewer things more frustrating for a young hot college guy than a preference for dick in the 1990's East Coast suburbs and college campuses. Nowadays it's a bit better, but then? Well, those of us dudes that preferred our partners come equipped with a few extra inches had two choices, stay in the closet or stay in the closet. Worse, if we were popular, hot, alpha dudes, we had to dip our sticks in pussy here and there to keep up appearances. That's was great for bisexual dudes, but for truly gay guys, especially those with a bent toward submissive bottoming and an unquenchable desire for dick, that was an extra cross to bear. My sexual frustration reached its pinnacle one night as the summer of 1997 drew to a close,

That fateful night two of my best friends and I were with a Nigerian dude in a bar in Zurich. Each beer made me more obsessed over the thought of his big black cock splitting me in half! The Gods saw fit to pair me with a masculine, dashing, gay black man in a European youth hostile, but also decided to put my two best friends on the other side of a thin wall. The last few nights I had helplessly watched his perfect endowment swinging back and forth like an elephant's trunk as he prepared for bed. Further, There was no doubt he wanted to fuck me as he pranced around and slept naked. Still though, I couldn't succumb to my ultimate fantasy with my friends in such close proximity. Hence I figured I would remain cock-starved for the entirety of my European trip.

It was the last night of a six-week, eight-city tour to promote lacrosse throughout Europe. I was a star player on one of the best college teams in America. We were chosen to play the national teams of eight different countries to expand the growth the game was experiencing overseas. The team left two days earlier directly from Milan. I chose to stay with my two best friends who changed their flights and traveled to Zurich to fuck two Suisse girls they met in Milan the night before the rest of the team left.

I went along figuring maybe it would be easier to lose two guys instead of 18, especially if they planned to spend their time with the girls. It seemed like a good chance to finally get some Euro-Dick! However, that was not the case. They fucked the girls the night we arrived and then turned their attention to getting drunk and finding more conquests. I, of course, was obligated to join them, as there wasn't really a plausible excuse for a 'hot, athletic, pussy-hound' like me not join them in a drunken search for European tail. Now, our early-morning flight loomed like a pendulum and still a hard penis had yet to find a way into any of my cavities!

What could be more frustrating for a horny, beautiful, 20-year old, closeted queer than traveling across eight European cities with 18 testosterone fueled homophobes in 1997? Paris, Barcelona, Milan! Hundreds of beautiful men in tight stylish clothes! And all I could do was crank a few out in the shower while dreaming of those sexy European dicks inside me because I wasn't ready to let those troglodytes know I prefer to ride a man.

The worst part about it was that there was so much sex happening on the trip. Girls were throwing themselves at us in every city and my teammates hosted nightly orgies. Pussy was getting increasingly more difficult for me to stomach, and as I said, I had to fuck a few to keep up appearances, especially on this trip where it was so readily available. I didn't know how much longer I could keep up the charade. Don't get me wrong, women are beautiful, I want to make that clear. But vaginas, ick! Just not my thing. It was getting harder and harder (pun intended) to keep an erection while flopping around in some sloppy cunt.

1997 also pre-dates smart phones and the now ubiquitous availability of porn of all sorts, as well as easy-to-hook-up dating apps. I went from a suburban high school to a traditional (read non-inclusive) university. This limited my gay experiences to four at that time. And if you wanted to get a gay porn video or mag? Well that required human interaction in a seedy porn shop or a gas station. I wasn't ready for that. So the four men who fucked me along with the glimpses of mostly soft dicks in locker rooms were the only visual fantasies available in my mind to stay hard as I pumped those vile Euro-snatches.

So there it was. Christian was my last shot, but even though we were alone in our room and he was gay, that opportunity was tricky. I hadn't acted upon it all weekend. My friends were right next door. What if he was loud? What if he told or even just talked about it, or tried a PDA in front of them? I couldn't risk it. Yes, it certainly seemed like the Gods were playing a cruel trick on me. First, a trip to Europe with zero opportunities to be with a man, then sending me back to my homophobic university, but not before dangling a sexy gay man in my face that was too risky to touch.

Our last night was pretty low-key. We drank a lot but no clubs. We decided to just hang out and reminisce on the trip at a German-style beer hall. I not only had to hear about the 14 women Teddy fucked the past six weeks but I had to discuss my three unavoidable, unpleasant, dalliances inside pussies.

It was about 12:30 a.m. when Teddy and Patrick finally decided to call it a night and get a cab back to the hostile. Our flight left at 7:00, so we had to be up in three and half hours. This was the first glimmer of hope, I would have some alone time with a tipsy Christian. As they prepared to leave, a real chance emerged. Christian decided he was ready to leave but wanted to walk home along the river. My loins tingled a bit at the thought of a romantic moonlit walk late at night along a presumably empty river walk. I quickly seized the opportunity to join him.

Christian and I strolled along the river path under the romantic lights chatting away, but it was not empty as I assumed. I kept hoping for an opportunity to be alone and stop to 'look at the river.' In other words, create an opportunity for us to kiss, grope, and who knows, maybe more. However, it was Saturday night and the people kept coming! In retrospect, it was crazy how in the closet I was, I mean who cares if a stranger sees me making out with a man? But then, no way. Not to mention Christian was a 6'3", 230 pound muscular black man with long dreads, so he kinda already stuck out in Switzerland.

Each person that passed us on the two mile walk back to the hostile irked me beyond belief! It wasn't their fault of course, I just need some privacy! Christian turned when we reached the cross street of our temporary abode, which was one block up from the river. I stopped him though and convinced him to join me at the railing for one last look at the city. I needed to keep hope alive.

I walked to the fence and put my hands on the railing facing the water. Christian leaned on the railing sideways, resting on his left elbow. He crossed his hands and faced me, very close, but not touching. "It's beautiful," I said referring to the river.

"Yes, much beauty," he replied in a thick African accent. I was looking towards the water but could feel him staring intensely at me. I am pretty sure he was referring to me.

I stood their silently for 30 seconds or so. The sexual tension was so high I could barely breath and an erection began to grow in my pants due to the intensity of the situation. Christian inched closer, still not touching me, and I wanted to just turn and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. But there was a couple on the bench behind us and people STILL walking by. The silence continued for a just a bit longer before Christian manufactured some small talk as he continued approaching my leg ever-so-slowly with his.

As I recall, he was asking me about girls and girlfriends. Digging, although he knew he didn't have to. He knew I was gay. I continued to look forward as he continued his snail-like approach towards flirtatious, exploratory, physical contact with me. I felt the fabric of his jeans finally brush against mine and it totally tripped me up. Whatever I was saying, I totally lost my train of thought and went silent. I pushed my leg into his to return the flirtatious gesture. My breathing got even shorter and I turned my head to face him. Our eyes locked and just that glance, o God, it was the most erotic second of my life. My cock instantly achieved full capacity. I was an inch away from throwing myself into his arms, despite the presence of passers-by. But instead, I stood there frozen for about five seconds, and then looked away like the coward I was at that time. I shifted my leg to pull it away from his and the moment passed.

Christian should have just walked away at that point. I know my today-self sure would have. But he must of understood. I mean he was only two or three years older than me and I'm sure Nigeria was no easier a place to come out than America was at that time. Even after being rejected, he remained at the river with me and continued to drive the small talk. I on the other hand tried really hard to garner the courage to make a move, even worse, just accept his advances. I didn't want the moment to end, I just wanted to be alone with him! I wanted a bit more time to struggle with my inner-self and find the courage to kiss him in front of people!

Christian had really dark skin which made his wide-set, bulging eyes look even whiter. Although I was only 5'9", we were eye-to-eye each time I mustered up the courage to look his way since he was leaning against the railing. The streetlights illuminated half of his face, and his full lips surrounded by a close-cropped goatee looked delicious. I wanted to kiss them, I needed to kiss them, but I didn't kiss them. The couple was still there and people continued walking by. Instead I just sheepishly turned my head towards him here and there, but quickly glanced back at the river each time.

It was futile. We weren't going to be alone. What more could the poor guy do? Christian had already done his part for the dance that young masculine men need to do to hook up. The ball was in my court and I froze time after time. I wasn't going to kiss a man in front of people on the street, and even if we started making out, I wasn't going back to the room and have him fuck me in case the walls were thin. I wanted to find a dark alley, pull my pants down and lean up against a dumpster so he could pummel me ruthlessly, but that wasn't going to happen. In the end, I chickened out. It wasn't going to happen. I suggested that it was late and we should get back. I figured I would at least get to see him naked and could masturbate to the image in the shower.

Christian seemed a bit disappointed. But he was a happy-go-lucky kinda guy. Not to mention, he was out of the closet so I'm sure he'd have some white boy bent over the next day as I flew home toward more repression. We walked back to the room, continuing the small talk.

As soon as we got to the room, I watched Christian kick off his shoes and pull off his t-shirt. He was facing the other way and I stared intently at his muscular V-shaped back and the huge balls of muscles that were his shoulders. He unbuckled his belt and dropped his shorts to the floor. He wasn't wearing underwear, I was pretty sure he didn't own any, or at least he didn't bring any on his trip. I stared at his rock hard muscular ass. I pictured it flexing as he thrust that beautiful cock he shamelessly flaunted the last few nights into my ass doggy-style. He was right there. Naked. We were alone. My friends would not likely speak to him ever again as we had to leave so early. Still I did nothing.

I knew he was getting ready to shower like he had done the previous two nights. There was one bathroom for the two rooms and I also wanted to shower before my flight. I hadn't yet undressed in front of him, his flaccid penis was so impressive and, although I pack a solid six-inches hard, when it is soft it's pretty small and floppy and receded into my hairy pubic bush. This was right before guys shaving became all the rage, except Christian of course. He was the first guy I saw with a clean-cut pubic region, another incredibly sexy feature. That night though, I was half hard, and I wanted at least a whiff of sexuality, so I took my clothes off as he gathered his things.

I stood naked facing him, waiting for him to turn around. When he did, I asked him if he planned to take a shower. Our well-lit room provided plenty of illumination for us to check out each other's naked bodies, especially our dangling cocks. We both stole a glance or two as he politely offered to let me shower first since I had an early flight.

His bed was closer to the door and I walked past him holding my towel and toiletries at my sides, strutting my stuff as my semi-chubby swung up and down freely (well bobbed slightly). I figured I wasn't going to get fucked that night, but at least I could masturbate in the shower to this erotic moment.

It's possible, no definitely I had never been as horny as I was during that shower. I figured I would cum in a matter of minutes, maybe less. I circled my cock and balls with the lathery bar of soap thinking about Christian's massive cock dominating my wanting hole. Each time I circled, my hard-on flew up and hit my tight stomach. I began to stroke my soapy pole as the warm water hit my back in a constant, comforting stream. I could have cum with just a few more strokes but I stopped myself. A little courage and a lot of logic suddenly entered my thoughts. It hit me, getting fucked right now is so low risk and an immeasurable reward. I reconsidered an actual hook up and decided not to pull my pud just in case.

I let myself calm down a bit and reached behind with soapy fingers to clean my hole in the event I decided to get fucked. I was so worked up, I would have climaxed immediately from the light anal stimulation provided by the finger scrub. I washed my puckered button and then inserted a finger or two about an inch inside to sanitize the opening of the orifice. After spreading my cheeks wide and rinsing thoroughly, I turned off the water and dried off. I spun my towel tightly and grabbed it with both hands. I placed it under my sack and flipped my hard-on into my belly a few times with an upward motion. I love that feeling, it generates cool air on my cock and balls and creates a sexy slapping sound. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. I ran my fingers through my medium length dark brown hair to push it back and gargled some mouth wash to freshen my breath. As I walked back to our room, I had a decision to make.

When I returned to the room, Christian smiled and then proceeded to the bathroom. I stood there in my towel contemplating. Getting fucked by him, I was pretty sure, was as easy as asking. But did I want to take the chance? "Common!", I thought to myself. The only risk now was that Christian would be loud. I could even cover that up by saying he brought home a guy. My friends hadn't been in our room yet and why would they when we were rushing to the airport? As I said, I was sobering up a little, enough to think this through logically. Yet I still had just enough liquid courage to do what I did next. I loosened my towel and lied face down, spread eagle on my temporary roommates bed.

As I waited for Christian to return, I gently humped the damp white towel on which I laid to maintain my erection. Thoughts of him fucking my hole pranced through my head. The anticipation was indescribable but I was a bit nervous. Actually, I was out of this world nervous. I mean it was a low chance that my friends would catch us, but it was possible and that was a world-ender for me at the time. Also, I was 99% sure he wanted to fuck me, not 100%.

With my face buried in his pillow, I couldn't see anything but I heard him enter the still well-lit room. My stomach dropped as this was the dictionary definition of the moment of truth. How would he react? I was pretty sure, but one can never be certain. I was hoping for a quick decision on his part and raised my ass slightly in the air and spread my cheeks as soon as he came in, to leave no doubt about my intentions.

I didn't have to wait long. Relief and orgasmic desire filled my body as I felt his hand grab my calf firmly and the mattress depress under the weight of him mounting it, presumably on his knees. I quickly felt his other hand on the back of my other knee and then both sliding up the back of my slightly hairy hamstrings. I felt his body moving into a prone position and then both hands cupped my smooth cheeks as he nibbled the bottom of my right buttock. He continued to massage and spread my glutes while he nibbled my ass and inner thighs.

I moaned ever so softly as his tongue danced around my fuck hole. Already in a near pleasure comma, I gasped when Christian slid his hands between my legs and forcefully lifted me me up by my pelvis. With his shoulders and upper arms, he spread me a little wider and licked my ass from my fuzzy taint through my naturally hairless crack. He gave me a few more licks before placing his tongue directly on my throbbing anus and forcing it in a bit. I contracted and expanded my anal muscles to open it wider so he could go as deep as possible. His head bobbed and I gently pressed my ass into his face as he tongue-fucked my boy-pussy. I balanced my body on the side of my face to reach back with both hands and spread my cheeks even wider. O my God, what a tongue fucking!

When he was finished, he flipped me over effortlessly and directed me off the bed. He sat up on the edge and looked up at me intensely. My insides were fluttering like a woman. After a slight delay he smiled and shrugged as to say, "what are you waiting for?"

I immediately dropped to my knees and grabbed that heavy black cock pointing directly at my face by the base. Resting my left arm over his right thigh, I quickly opened wide and got to work. Although I had gained some good early experience as a cocksucker, I did have a bit of a gag reflex back then and his package was over eight inches. I could only get a little more than half of it down my throat. As I bobbed up and down his pitch black rod, his masculine, musky scent made me drool like a dog at dinner time. I easily i glided up and down the part of his shaft that fit in my mouth. As I slobbered all over it, twisting the lower half that I couldn't swallow in my hand, Christian began to thrust his pelvis forward a bit to help me take it deeper. He grabbed the back of my head and tilted it to the the angle he desired. He leaned back on his free elbow and increased the pace of his face pumps. This required me to stretch my mouth open wider and kneel up a bit straighter to provide a downward path for his big black cock to slide into my face without scrapping on my upper teeth. After gagging my face for a few minutes, Christian whispered to me, "get you ass ready."

I assumed, correctly, he meant to naturally lube my ass so he could fuck me. I pulled my head back far enough to get his big dick out of my mouth and spit a huge glob of saliva onto my middle and index finger tips, which was easy as my mouth was absolutely watering from gobbling his beautiful black cock. I reached down between my legs and rubbed the spit on my puckered hole, working it inside just a bit. It was still pretty wet from him eating my ass a few minutes before, but to accommodate his massive package, even in my well-gaped hole, I needed all the lubrication I could get.

You may be wondering how my ass was properly stretched since I've been whining about my lack of opportunity to get dick the whole story. Although I only had experiences with four men, my second was an assistant coach on my High School Lacrosse team. Our adventures are a story in themselves, but briefly, our affair occurred the summer after I graduated and, although it was at least an inch shorter and not as thick as Christian's, he had a big penis. More importantly, he was a very considerate lover and enjoyed mentoring a young gay athlete. (I know what your thinking, "sure he enjoyed mentoring a hot 18 year-old". But he was only 28 and arguably better looking than I was.) He stretched me with toys for a few weeks before anally penetrating me. I continued to stretch myself for masturbation purposes as well as to improve my bottoming skills. So even by then, I had toyed myself with plugs and dildos approximately as girthy as Christian.