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The young man began to tremble again, snuggling deeper into his arms with a barely audible gasp. Cooing softly, Ivan brought the blankets up around himself and his lover, taking a moment to caress Damien's cheek before wrapping his arm around the other again. Within minutes, he realized the trembling wasn't from the cold, Damien's growing whimpers and protests telling him so. The pup had woken up many times, barely got an hours sleep before jerking awake from nightmares. So again, Ivan ran hands down the younger's back, shushing him, trying to keep him asleep.
This time, his lover fell quiet, untensing and resuming his snuggling, a faint smile gracing his lips again. Ivan too, began to smile, but it faded as bits and pieces of last night's conversation arose in his mind again.
He thought he owed sex to me...That I deserved something after a few sounds and squirming...
Would Damien still think that now? Nuzzling his cheek against the younger's, Ivan closed his eyes - Damien would often forget the last few minutes before he fell asleep. If that was the case again, he'd repeat his honest words another time.
"Oh Dami...I remember being so surprised when I realized I was attracted by you..." Whispering absentmindedly, running fingers through the younger's locks, Ivan's eyes became defocused as only a memory could cause.
I remember being so angry the moment I realized...That frightened look on your face, sweetheart...
He pressed a kiss to his lover's cheek.
Many times he had fought against what his heart was telling him as Damien began to talk more after those first few weeks, and an actual attempt to get away only cemented the feelings growing within him then. It had been a desperate mutual kiss that sent him running. The near week getaway had caused the puppy much guilt and weeping; Ivan could still recall just how tight Damien held him that night he returned home, filled with acceptance and resolution to never abandon again. He still remembered the rush of relief when the front door banged open, and the younger rushing out to him with open arms those last few steps.
To imagine if he had struggled any longer and get the slightest glimpse of what his life could've been scared him completely. If he had decided to continue on his drive in the opposite direction of his home - a couple years ago, Ivan used to live in an house - what would have become of himself? Of Damien, left alone and still unhealed after his hospital stay. Gods, even now the young pup felt aches from that last fight with his boyfriend.
Damien began to shift in his sleep, his brow furrowed in sorrow and his lips parting with small whimpers. There wasn't much hope of getting anymore sleep for Damien - it had been nearly an hour and a half of sleep this time, and Ivan decided they wouldn't get any luckier for more rest now. So gently, he shook Damien's shoulders, whispering quietly in his ear it was time to wake. His lover's face worked in confusion, the squirming growing until with a start, Damien's eyes opened.
"Hey, good morning, Dami..." Fingers brushed down his face, and with a sigh, he leaned into the touch with warmth growing in his cheeks. What a perfect way to wake up... Giggling he tipped his chin up and captured Ivan's lips in a kiss, Damien shivered as a tongue gently slid along his lower lip. Parting his mouth eagerly, he reached up and wrapped a hand around the older's neck, dragging him down. Ivan's hands began to roam over his body, holding his shoulder, bringing them closer, running down his back. While under the blankets, as their kiss grew more intense, a hand stroked his thigh; it felt good, and with an encouraging murmur, Damien let the sensations take over. Ivan's touch became so delicate now, ghosting along his legs still encased in restricting demin. It made him cry out for more, breaking their kiss only to gasp for air before sealing their mouths again.
Holding his breath, he smoothed a hand over the younger's stomach, feeling the muscles under quiver. Then, on a greater dare, fell to massage the bare skin just above the waistband to jeans. Lust-glazed, cinnamon brown eyes opened, half-lidded and narrowed just slightly in what looked like a plea before they fell shut again. Nearly frantic, Damien stopped his crushing hold to unbutton his jeans. Then, just as desperate, his lips locked with his, tongue darting out to rub against his; Ivan groaned, bringing himself to sit up with his back against the wall. Damien began to as well, "No, its alright, Dami. Lie back, baby," Voice husky, he reluctantly parted their kiss, guiding the other to a half sitting position, partly resting with Dami's back against his bare chest. Hungry for more, Ivan sifted through the younger's locks, uncovered an ear and suckled on the lobe, pleased at the moan he caused.
"Mmm, it feels good, Ivan!" Whispering, Damien rocked his hips, ground himself back into his body while shrugging down his jeans, apparently caught up in the moment. It was a sudden fire, a desire for touch that Ivan gladly rose to the occasion. His heart skipped a few beats, his head feeling light for a few seconds when Damien found his hand and guided it down to his abdomen and past. The trembling began again, and once more, his lover rocked back into his body, "Please, please, Ivan! I like this, please show me a glimpse of heaven!" Those barely audible words had his own groin fill with heat, but this time was not for him. Nibbling the earlobe, Ivan gave an affirmative sound, wrapping his fingers around the base of the pup's length and pumped gently. A shudder cascaded through his lover, the younger's head tipping back, resting against his chest. His parted lips gasped, and with his free hand, Ivan tipped the younger's face towards his and kissed fiercely. He let that hand fall to Dami's chest, tweaking the hardened nubs, eliciting more moans and sounds of encouragement.
There was nothing frightening about how Ivan touched him, only a need for satisfaction. Arching back, he let his head fall back upon his lover's shoulder, certain he was shaking. His bent legs shook as he tensed them, giving him leverage to press back against Ivan's chest, abdomen. The hand around his arousal began to stroke, starting right at the base before sliding up to the flared head. His breath was stolen from him, another rocking back had him feel faint. "Its alright, its okay, just breathe..." Nodding quickly, Damien kicked away his jeans and boxers, freeing his ankles, allowing him to move. Biting his lower lip, he arched up into Ivan's stroking hand, eyes closing, savoring this. How he moved against his lover, how Ivan touched him, pressed against him tightly. They were allowed to, they were together till the end now. Gasping, Damien's tearing eyes flickered open, his mouth fighting for air before he lost it in whimpers.
"Dami, Gods..." Pressing kisses behind an ear, Ivan quickened his hand, stroking in time to the younger's thrusts. Reaching lower with his free hand, he began to fondle the testicles, cup the soft sacs before pumping gently. Damien gave a sound, possibly from fright as he jerked, scrambling to sit himself up and even then, he tried to get up.
What was he doing? Sliding back against Ivan, Damien stifled a sob and fell limp. This wasn't Marcel, this wasn't Jared. It was his lover who was pleasuring him, making love with him. Love. What happened in the past wasn't love. Ivan loved him, and no one else did so it was okay. Blinking rapidly, he felt some of himself return, what he was able to grasp when half of him was missing, lost in bliss.
He didn't even notice?
