Joey, Bill and Morty. The three amigos back in town at the same time for the first time in 30 years. They had been best friends, and had gone through first bicycle crashes together. First girlfriends, first drinks and unfortunately that one time they had gotten hold of some stink weed when they were 15. That was a memory all three friends would rather forget.
Back in the day it took a lot of plotting, but all three had found dates to the grade XII graduation dance, and three willing girls they were. The boys lost their virginity side by side, parked in their three cars. It was a night to remember.
Joey's prom date got pregnant and before he could leave town for college, he found himself settled down and married, working for his dad. Now he owned the family business and only once or twice in the intervening 40 years had he wished things had gone differently. She truly was the love of his life. Family was the most important thing to him, but on this night, his buddies came first.
Bill went on to college, became a film director for nature documentaries and traveled the world. A broken hand had given him an unexpected hiatus, and his thoughts were on his hometown. Twice married, twice divorced, he decided to go home and lick his physical and his emotional wounds.
Morty, always the playboy. Jet setting around the world. Anyone with enough money was his love of the week. Or the day or the month, it all depended on how much money they were willing to part with. His last job had just ended in disaster. Snuggled up with Natasha, on her private island in Thailand. The only other inhabitants, her native employees who saw they had all they needed. Natasha had neglected to mention that the private island was owned by her and her husband who arrived with his own flavor of the week. No one seemed to be up for a foursome. Morty grabbed a boat and rowed himself to shore. Jumped on the first airplane out and decided to go home, possibly to rethink his career choices.
Perfect timing too. It was Halloween night and there was a party. The three amigos headed to the costume shop, only one in town and only one costume left. They looked at each other and started to laugh. It was almost as if it was meant to be. One costume, meant for three people. A three-headed monster complete with masks.
Bill, pulled out his wallet and quickly paid the rental fee. "It gets pretty hot in there, it's been the only complaint, and it makes going to the bathroom interesting...there are zippers about crotch level though. Hope you guys are close." she giggled as they walked out the door.
They took the costume back to Morty's house. He never had the heart to part with the old family home and all three of them knew the insides like the back of their own hands. It was a familiar place, adorned with pictures on the wall of all of them as they grew up. This was Morty's safe haven. None of his clients ever learned where he was from, or where he called home.
The men relaxed on the couch, Morty keeping the beer flowing and the conversation got louder and louder until the phone rang. It was Joey's wife. "Are you three ever going to make it to the party? Do I need to come and pick you up?"
Joey laughed, "Yes, and bring the van!"
"Ok, suit up boys, our chariot is on the way." he laughed as Morty cleared the beer bottles.
Bill headed for the bathroom, "And you both better piss before I zip myself into this with you two fools."
When he emerged from the bathroom he could only stare at the two of them as they prepared to step into the costume. Joey and Morty had stripped to their socks and underwear. "What the hell are you two doing?"
Morty answered, "The girl at the shop said it gets hot in here...we don't want to start stripping down at the party do we?"
"Damn fools, I cannot believe I am zipping myself in there with you two half naked idiots for the night." he chuckled as he tossed his clothes on the floor.
Joey took the right side, Morty stepped into the middle and Bill took his place on the left. They sat with a bit of difficulty and pulled on the monster boots. The three headed, six footed monster...but only two arms.
Morty started to complain, "Hey, there aren't any armholes for me. How in the fuck am I supposed to drink?"
"I guess you'll have to be nice to us and ask please, we'll hold the glass and let you drink from a straw." Already drunk, Morty thought that was the perfect solution.
A honking from the driveway signalled the arrival of their chariot. As they bumped and shoved their way out the front door, they were illuminated in the van's lights. By the time they shuffled close enough to open the door, Joey's wife was laughing so hard that there were tears streaming down her face. As they fought their way into the back seat she finally got a hold of herself long enough to speak. "I knew you three were close in high school, but that has got to be both the most ridiculous and funny thing I have ever witnessed."
Bill just groaned and Joey said, "Just drive, you're the chauffeur, no comments required."
She leaned back between the seats and gave him a kiss. "This is going to be an interesting evening."
The party was as every Halloween party should be. Lots of costumes, lots of laughs, lots of great food and lots of alcohol. By midnight the drinks were making their way through the three headed monster and down to the three bladders. Joey said, "I have to piss, and now, let's go outside and take a whiz in the bushes like we did when we were kids."
