What had started senior year was a problem. Maybe it was the fact that it was senior year and it was going to end soon, but what I thought was going to be me finally dating the girl I had fantasized about turned into something else. Ella had a power over me. She had a look: a slight smile with her eyes half closed that she could give that caused me to do things. Things I wouldn't usually do. The time beneath the bleachers and at the camping trip were just the beginning. As the year went on, Ella and I continued down a road that I couldn't see the end of and for once, I didn't care.
Like the time she gave me a blow job in my car while I was on the phone with my college placement advisor. Or the time she had me write insults in sharpie all over her body and then came to school with just enough clothing to cover them up. It was everything I could do to get through the day knowing that just beneath the trim of her sweater, just under her jeans there were words I could hardly say out loud. It seemed like Ella was on a mission to push me farther and farther into her world of lust -- a world where everything was about sex and control and allure and nothing I could do mattered. By the time winter break came around, I had begun to crave those times -- to hope for the chance to reveal a new side of myself that I hadn't even know was there -- to experiment with something new and dirty and to do it with Ella.
The winter holiday season was always a busy time of the year for my father's business and that year was no exception. A group of middle age women had hired him for a two week stint of snowshoeing and skiing in the backwoods -- two weeks that coincided perfectly with my two week winter break from school. I'm not sure how Ella knew that my house would be adult-free for the break, but she must have known something because she was waiting for me outside of school on the last Friday of school. It was warm for December and as I walked out of school, looking forward to a few weeks of relaxation, I saw Ella waiting for me the shade of a large pine tree.
She was wearing a pleated skirt that sat just above her knees and a loose winter jacket that was open, revealing a tight fitted shirt underneath. The hood of the jacket was lined with a pink fuzz and her hair fell loose around her shoulders, drawing my eyes down from the perfect lines of her face to the full shape of her breasts, clearly evident beneath her top. Ella's eyes were bright with expectation and power, as if she knew I wouldn't be able to resist whatever she wanted to tell me, and to be honest knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist turned me on.
"Rumor has it that you're house is going to be free for break," she said, maintaining eye contact with me as I walked over to her. I wanted to push her up against the tree and feel the warmth of her body against mine, but I knew that she wouldn't approve of that kind of public display of affection so I held back. Ella was odd in that way -- she was a true exhibitionist when it came to sex, but didn't like other people seeing us do what typical couples do.
"How did you know?" I asked,
"I have my sources," she said cryptically and then smiled that smile that pushed any doubts out of my mind. "So I'll see you tonight at your place?" It almost wasn't a question.
"Do I have a choice?"
"Do you want one?"
I shook my head. "Good then," she said, "I'll see you at 8:00."
As I turned to go, Ella smiled again and I could feel her eyes watching me as I walked down the hill from school and turned the corner towards my house.
Ella knocked on the front door at 7:30. She walked past me when I opened the door. I turned around, not sure what to do and in my confusion ended up following her to the living room where she sat down on the couch, crossed her legs, and spread her arms out along the back of the couch. I stood at the doorway and took in the sight in front of me. Ella was radiant -- her skin was smooth and slightly tan, and her blue eyes shone bright in the dimly lit room. Her lips looked soft and moist. I thought about what it would feel like to let my thumb grace across them, to push them apart and watch her suck my finger.