The following day was a strange one. I had class in the morning, Mike had his managers' meeting. We didn't have time to talk after waking up, and even if we had, I don't know what I would have said.
It wasn't that I regretted what had happened, or did I? There was some indecision about it, but I wasn't agonizing over the thing. It happened. That was it. Or was it?
I won't say that I avoided going home that day, but I did try to take my time and sort out my thoughts before. I still didn't want to offend Mike, but I also wondered if he thought that we were boyfriends now. It was all very strange.
When I finally did get home, Mike wasn't even there. It was odd because usually he had gotten off of work by that time. I wondered if he was thinking about last night. I wondered if he regretted it. By the time ten o'clock rolled around, I decided to go to bed.
I was probably only in bed for ten or fifteen minutes before I heard the front door of the apartment open. I didn't know whether to pretend I was asleep or face the music when he came into the bedroom. I decided to play asleep at first and see where things went. When he finally entered the bedroom, Mike didn't say a word. It was hard to tell, but I don't think he was even looking at me.
He started to get undressed and stopped when he reached his underwear. It was about then that I could smell the alcohol. He'd been drinking. I couldn't tell, however, if he was drunk.
Without a word, he climbed into his bed. I began to wonder if he was really regretting what had happened. That's when he rolled off his bed and made his way over to mine. He sat on my bed, touched my shoulder and said:
"Scott?"
I rolled over and looked at him.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "I was worried," he said, "worried that you might be unhappy with what we did last night."
"I'm not unhappy," I said.
"Are you okay with it?"
"I guess so. It's still sinking in."
A moment of silence passed between us.
"Could we talk?" He asked.
"Sure."
"Would it be okay if I laid beside you? If you say no, it's okay, believe me. I just thought it might be easier to talk that way."
"Okay." I responded. Mike slid onto the bed next to me. We looked at each other, but weren't touching.
"I hope that you're feeling okay about things. I don't know if I should have done what I did. It wasn't something that I was planning to do. But once you were massaging me, I couldn't control my attraction anymore. I guess it'd been building for some time."
"It's okay," I said. I didn't know what else to say.
"I don't regret it for me though."
I started to turn onto my side to face him more, but was trapped under the sheet that he was lying on.
"Sorry," he said, and I scooted the sheet back, laying on top of it.
"No problem," I said, stretching out.
"So…" he said. At that point, my foot grazed his. I pulled back in a reflex. But when I looked into his eyes, he seemed disappointed, like I was rejecting him.
"I don't regret what happened," I said, smiling slightly.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes. I could have said no." His footed drifted toward mine. When it made contact, I didn't move. Our barefeet were lightly touching.
"You know that it doesn't make you gay, right?"
"Yes."
He smiled at me. Slowly he started flexing his toe, lightly stroking the top of my foot.
"But you know what?" He started, smiling broader, "You were really something. I can't remember the last time I was able to repeat so many times in a night." Our feet were stroking a little more.
"I thought you were enjoying it," I said, smiling. He laughed a little.
"Can I give you a hug?" He asked.
"Sure." I said. He scooted over to me and we hugged awkwardly while lying on the bed.
"Thanks," he said softly in my ear. "You're great." He held his face alongside mine for a few seconds. Then pulled back. He looked me in the eyes.
"I have to tell you," he said, "If I was going to design a lover, he'd be a lot like you." He smiled again and ran his hand along my cheek. Then he stopped and stared into my eyes. I didn't do anything. After a second, he leaned in and kissed me. I let him. He pulled back and closed his eyes.