[Features: Yaoi, handholding, vanilla, smiles, femboy, first time.]
I had never been with a guy. I feel like this point is incredibly important but to get to where we're at, we have to start at the beginning of all of this.
My name is Jeremiah Smith, an incredibly boring name, so I usually just went by "Jake." It was simpler and honestly, was a lot better in my opinion. Jeremiah Smith was just too...well, we've already said that it's really really boring.
I was a college freshman, 19, just got out of high school. College was very different. Very very different. It was great, honestly. When I was put into a class with a 30 and 40 year old, I knew that I wasn't going to be treated like anything less than an adult. And that was awesome.
The course work, less so.
I was studying to be a Mechanical Engineer, or, well, I would be. The first year was just the most basic of basics. English, some math, some electives, etc. Nothing too special, nothing too hard as long as you studied outside of class, (that first semester sucked. Learning that for every hour of school means you should spend at least an hour outside of it studying was a wake up call.) and in general, meant you had a lot of free time on your hands.
And that's when I saw him.
They say that when you see someone you really love, your mind goes crazy. Personally, I've always thought that was a bunch of hogwash. And this proved to be just as true here. Except, well, I definitely felt something alright. And that something was general confusion.
He looked pretty. That was what my mind was telling me. He didn't have a ton of make up or was extremely flamboyant or was just clean shaven or handsome or anything. They weren't necessarily drop dead gorgeous and unless you needed glasses, they were still pretty clearly a guy.
Yet, they looked pretty. And that made my head do a loop. I couldn't say I understood it at the time but I knew one thing, they wouldn't leave my mind.
They were sitting at a table at lunch, hanging around with some people, probably friends. I myself was hanging out with some people too, just relaxing but I couldn't get my mind off them. When I saw my friend Jerek (curse his much cooler name than me) I at least managed to pull my eyes away. That, of course, fucking Jerek, didn't stop him at all.
"Oh? I didn't know you were gay."
"I'm not."
"I don't know. You were staring at that guy over there pretty hard."
I just continued to eat my sandwich while rolling my eyes. Feigning disinterest. This was a pretty nasty game that me and Jerek would play every once in a while. He would tease me about something, really anything, and then he wouldn't let it go because it was so funny to him. Doesn't matter what it was, whether it was true, etc. I accidentally once told him "I kinda hate oranges a little" and he wouldn't let that go at all. Would bring it up every other day saying stuff like "oh, are you sure ya wanna eat that? I hear it's got oranges." and etc.
To be fair, I beat him at literally every video game we've ever played so I considered it pretty fair while growing up. Glad to see college hasn't changed us that much.
The only defense I had ever found was one of two things. A. feigning complete disinterest and hoping he stops and chooses something else. Or B. actually really not liking what he had chosen to make fun of and asking him to stop.
Sadly, option A failed me here.
"I knew college would be a whole new experience but wow, didn't know it went that far. And all this time I thought you were a ladies man."
I had to snort at that. That was pretty funny right there since I had never been in a relationship. He wasn't always funny but he pulled through every once in a while. And God help us, no one could say he didn't try.
"Yeah yeah, I'll become gay when you do. How's Emily by the way?"
He had to grumble at that.
"Still wish we could've gotten more classes together. But you're not getting out of this that easily. You were staring pretty hard after all."
"I was not."
"Were too."
"Was not."
Our childish back and forth continued until lunch ended and we each went our separate ways but it made me keep thinking of the guy I saw. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. As luck would have it, we had the next class together, which was weird. I mean, the semester had already started a week or two ago after all. I decided to sit next to him.
"Hey. Switch classes?"
"Yeah. I originally had Mr. Fletcher."
I grimaced.
"Yeah, I had some friends tell me about him. Apparently he is just the worst, ever."
"Yeahhh, I wish I had known ahead of time. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled out an honest to god abacus.
He laughed and I felt my heart skip a beat.
"By the way, what's your name?"
"Oh uh, Jeremiah but everyone just calls me Jake."
"Cool, I'm Ryan. Ryan Reynolds."
It took my brain a second.
"Like the actor?"
"Yup!"
Ryan was pretty fun. We chatted about whatever and how awful of a teacher Mr. Fletcher was for a while. Then Ryan asked me a question.
"Hey, could you help me out a little bit after class if you're not busy? I'm still playing catch up and calculus can go fuck itself."
"Ha. Yeah, sure, I've got nothing going on afterwards. Was just gonna do some studying and homework in the library anyway."
And that's how I ended up alone with Ryan. I mean it was a big library, not a lot of people around us. Thankfully, Ryan wasn't bad at math. Unthankfully, I couldn't answer some pretty basic questions.
"But why does it work like that?"
"Uh, I don't know, it's just the formula we were given."
"God, I hate math."
It was pretty relaxing and fun teaching someone stuff and Ryan was pretty chill. I kept looking back at Ryan and it was just, nice I guess. Good to make new friends. My mouth was apparently faster than my brain.
"Wanna hang out sometime?"
What the fuck.
"Oh, like just chill and stuff without all the work? Sure. I'll give ya my number. Hit me up if you got something going on or anything like that."
"Yeah, same."
Yeah, this was fine. Just making friends, don't know why I panicked there for a moment.
We went back to it but I still kept finding myself looking at Ryan. He really did just, look pretty. I couldn't think of any other guys I'd really describe like that. It was a bit weird but, hey, I'm not judging or anything. That's fine for guys to look good. Still, it was, kinda distracting weirdly.
We finished up with our homework studying soon after that.
"See ya tomorrow in class?" he said.
"Yeah, sure man. See ya then."
And that's how it all started.
Me and Ryan started hanging out more after class, even after he'd caught up that week. It was fun to have a study group. Most of my friends weren't in the same classes, so we only really saw each other at lunch and no one wanted to do homework or any studying while eating.
I was having lunch with Jarek when I saw Ryan across from us.
"Still staring at that guy huh? You must be more down bad than I thought."
"Shut up, it's not like that."
"I mean, he is good looking but I'd thought you'd be more into bears."
Curse me for being friends with Jarek and curse Jarek for thinking that he's funny.
"Ugh."
"Why are you looking at him then hmm?"
"We've been hanging out is all."
"Hmm? What?"
"We have the same class. We hang out and study afterwards."
"Oh. Oh I see. Well go get em tiger, I knew you had it in you."
"You are insufferable."
"Big word coming from you. But I think you're missing something."
"What's that?"
"No U."
Ugh.
The jokes continued for a little while before:
"Hey, why don't we go eat with him if you guys are friends? His table's got room."
