siktici © 2017
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Although I had fooled around with boys at an early age, my first encounter with a man didn't happen until I was eighteen. I knew I wanted to be with a very hairy man, a hairy older man. I wanted to rub his hairy pecs and move my hand down his hairy abs to his pubes before stroking his cock until he spewed hot cum over his chest and over my face. Then I wanted to part his hairy ass cheeks and eat his gritty hole before returning to milk his cock into spewing again.
Yes, I watched them come and go. Business men, their hairiness in suit and tie; laborers, their thick curls spilling from their open collars, their cocks bulging their khakis; or just men on the move. Bow-legged, straight postured, pumped men, sat wide-legged in loose shorts to allow a wayward cock or ball sac to slip from one of the legs of the shorts. Summer served me best when it demanded muscle shirts that reveal hairy backs and shoulders above loosely fitting running shorts that allowed the wearer's dick to swing wildly.
But it took my imagination to see their hairy crotches and hairy ass cracks coated in sweat and funk. Their strides cultivated a hot house of hairy musk. My mind conjured so vivid an image that I made large pools of precum in my briefs, and sometimes when I caught sight of a particularly hairy man, I would have to dry the copious precum from my thigh.
Only, I couldn't have any of these men, especially the older ones. What would they want with a scrawny kid like me? Additionally, what would they want with a scrawny black kid, and my young life wasn't at all conducive to my unusual appetite. So, I spent most of my time looking for those images innocently displayed in commercial magazines.
Yet, someone WAS looking back.
Mr. Dennis Whitney, my life-long neighbor—father of the only white family in our neighborhood—held some unclear contempt for me.
"Hiya Mr. Whitney," I said as politely as possible.
"Humf" was all I ever got. His sons couldn't say why he treated me that way. They did admit that he was very friendly to their other friends.
This started when I was thirteen, and by eighteen, the "humf," turned to contemptible silence, as if I was Mr. Whitney's enemy. Anyone would be troubled by such a show of contempt and I was beside myself.
Why did trauma happen in summer? Over my short life, I have had some pretty shitty summers, but the summer of '77 was particularly shitty: I had to attend summer school to graduate, my allowance was scrapped, and I was confined to the house—no swimming, no camping, no neighborhood basketball—as punishment for not applying myself.
We were probably the poorest family in the neighborhood, but I never saw or felt it. My father was a custodian in a school district with no chance for major money and my mother was a maid for an old Houston family with the same prospects. I wore my brothers' hand-me-downs until I could work, and I didn't have a car, nor did I know any kids who did. Yet, on recollection, no one in my neighborhood was particularly comfortable. All families seemed perpetually submerged below the poverty line, because all the husbands were laborers and all the wives were domestics.
I was the last of six children: a position I came to despise. As my mother pointed out, "You can't get away with anything your brothers and sisters haven't already tried." And my not being a typical child gave my parents fits, especially my father. I sometimes wondered whether my father loved me. Outward indicators proved he did, but I never felt it, and feeling it mattered most.
If you knew the nature of poor families, you knew that they bartered or just loaned out of kindness. My family was a frequent benefactor of kindness. So, it was nothing for my mother to send me next door to borrow a cup of sugar, a tomato, or a stick of butter.
The summer was especially brutal to me, being stuck inside with little to do (My mother half-heartedly tasked me with a reading list from school). I spent my time finding my daddy's porn and jerking off. The other time lusted after men in soaps or after athletes during sporting events. And a few times, on a very tight leash, I made trips throughout the neighborhood bartering and begging. I didn't mind very much begging to and bartering with my neighbors, but I absolutely hated going to The Whitney's.
Mr. Whitney was peculiar in many ways: he was a self-ordained minister, a construction worker, and quiet abuser. Like Saul he saw the light, accepted Christ, and accepted a position with The First Baptist Church. However, accepting Christ didn't stop the abuse and it didn't make him less peculiar. Mrs. Whitney seemed to catch most of his wrath according to my mother when she gossiped with other hens in the neighborhood.
"Girl, did you see her?" my mother asked.
"She couldn't see out of one eye!" one woman said.
"I heard he beat her because she wouldn't let him put in her ass!" another said.
"Oh, go on with that!" the doubters said.
"Hand to God!" the defending woman declared.
Some of Mr. Whitney's wrath extended to anyone who annoyed him. He solved his problems with threats of violence, but daddy always called him "a lily-livered, spineless bastard!" and desperately wished the bastard would do something, anything.