A Submissive's Journey

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy.

-------------------

The next morning when I got up no one was around. On the coffee table was a note:

The boss says that the way things work are changing a bit. He likes to mix things up. There is no one to see you today so rest up. Tomorrow just follow your ordinary routine, classes and all that. Someone in our group will approach you. You will know it is the right person because they will call you a 'sissy gurl'.

Chill out a little or whatever if you want the door will lock behind you when you leave. See you Saturday.

After reading this I had mixed feelings. The last few days had been pretty crazy so a day off would be nice. It would give me time to kind of come down and look at things from fresh eyes.

The 'sissy gurl' thing kind of bothered me. Yes I was a small guy, would have been petite for a girl almost, but I wasn't actually a girl. How was someone going to come up and say that too me when I was out in public anyways.

Another thing was all of this scheduling of my time. I was allowed to be free today, but tomorrow I was to go to classes and be ready for someone to come out of nowhere and just do what they wanted. Something in me wanted to rebel, to pick up a phone and tell someone off just for the sake of standing my ground, but here I was alone with no number to call except maybe work and Tom wouldn't be in until much later.

Well I had today to myself anyway and I had no plans. I lay back and shut my eyes, so comfortable that I really didn't want to do anything.

My mind wandered back to the night before, the long session with Mark's beautiful cock and then the thankfully rather short session with the wild man. My ass was still very sore from that incident, but for some reason when I thought about the two experiences back to back I would get more turned on by the hard fucking I took.

The way he looked down at me with that knowing smile that he owned me. Like he knew inside that if there was something that I said I wouldn't do he could simply change my mind by doing it to me and I would accept. He knew that I would lie there and take the rough treatment, because he could see into me and the person that I was and my place in the sexual order.

I had voluntarily allowed myself to cross the threshold, had passed the borderline and now was resigned to looking back across that line at men who had the rights that I used to have. For the rest of my life when a man had his cock out I would want to pleasure him.

That simple fact made me useless to women, because they would want me to want them only. I thought about how easily I had let my boss take my mouth. How could I be trusted in the future to not do the same thing? There was no way that I could be.

Hiding what I was at a future job would be almost impossible; I knew it for now I had started looking at the males in my life before the last month or so in a different light. When I looked at my boss from time to time I would wonder about what was in his pants. He would be in a position of power over me, which would make it even harder.

Friends that I had in high school that I had never even the slightest thought of sexually if I brought them to mind now it would slip to "I wonder what his cock is like?" The idea turned me on so much that I wished I had my yearbook there right now and instead of picking out girls I would select guys that I would be embarrassed to have know that I was a cocksucker.

I would blow them, and then other friends would walk in on me and they would all call me a little fag and I would be on call for them all forever, just kneeling from one to another. The girls that I had lusted for would find out and make fun of me and watch with popcorn and have the guys cum on it and make me eat it up.

The fantasizing had driven me into a frenzy. Ordinarily I would have just rubbed one out quick, taking less than a couple minutes, but for some reason, maybe the all too real encounters of late I desperately wanted some real action. I was turning into a little slut.

I searched for something that I could do even thinking for a second it might be an idea to go knock on Tom's door and when he opened up just kneel right there in the hall and go to town on him.

Finally it hit me. I was downtown. Being downtown meant just one thing. A quick look at the clock told me it was eleven thirty. Surely they were open by now. Throwing on my clothes I looked around the room and spied a couple of bottles of booze.

I hadn't really had any intention of drinking that day. The thought that a day off from that too might be good had occurred to me, but I really wanted to loosen up my inhibition for the bookstore. It was pointless going to a place like that and chickening out like I did last time. A few shots and maybe some to spare would be good to set me free.

Just No Anal!

There was no way I could take another banging, not yet. A lot of guys were just in to being a cocksucker, so I would just say I was like that.

On the short bus ride over I wanted to peak my anticipation so I played this game of making a promise to myself how many cocks I would suck. At first it was just two since that was better than the one I had managed before. Three seemed a likely option since a third guy would be bound to find out there was an active cocksucker in the place.

If the ride was much longer who knows what number I might have gotten up to, but it stood at five when we reached my stop. The last two men of course I sucked at the same time in my mind. I wanted to be a little ho like I thought of earlier.

It was almost lunchtime when I arrived which turned out rather well for my plan. In addition to the clerk, I counted five guys strolling around the racks. Slipping past the clerk's side this time I got to the rack of gay videos, took a quick peek at a cover with a muscular man, naked and erect, licked my lips and went back to the booths.

Looking back then forth. I scanned the darkened hallway On the right hand side which I hadn't really explored were about 6 doors a couple were open and 3 had active red lights above the door. Turning to the left I started down the hallway.

I had a definite desire to occupy the same booth that I had previously. Before I had skipped the first three booths and gone to the end and come back to the man in the fourth booth.

My eyes scanned the light above the booths. The first booth was on, but the next two were off with the light off, mine was on, but the two beyond were off. Disappointed I made a quick decision to go to the end booth and just hang out in there for a minute.

All of the open booths were empty and I couldn't make out anyone in the hall so I ended up safely deposited in the last booth. Reaching in my pack I grabbed the bottle I had brought from the club and took a hefty slug, grimaced and then took another even deeper one. I wanted to be nice and loose for this.

My eyes and ears adjusted as I crouched in the corner. It was dark enough in here to make out little more than shapes, where in the hall I was easily able to see my hand and make out facial features. Down the hallway I could here the various movies blending together in a cacophony of feminine moans.

If I had counted right there were 5 booths with lights on which I assumed meant that the video was on in the booth. I couldn't remember if the light went on in 'my' booth when the movie was on, because I had other things on my mind at the time.

Most of the sounds that I heard were girls, but in one I could faintly make out a distinction of a man moaning rhythmically. Was he giving or receiving? What if all of the sounds I heard weren't recorded and some were of actual sex acts.

Certainly there were quite a few guys that just came to bust a quick nut to some porn, but hadn't that been what I had intended to do & look where that had led me.

The whiskey had warmed me and mellowed me out, but I knew that I couldn't just park here forever, so I popped the top and took a big swig, wiped my mouth and peeped back around the corner.

There was a man down at he other end standing in front of what seemed to be an open stall. I waited for him to go in. For the time being I didn't want anyone to see me. Not until I was set up at least.

My impatience with the stranger grew, as he would not seem to get out of the hallway. Looking up to the lights, I tried to see if my booth was still occupied. There was no way to tell at this angle.

It got too much for me. Fuck it. I shouldered my pack and slipped out into the hall creeping past the empty fifth booth to 'mine' where the door was still closed. Someone being in there was throwing my whole idea off and it was severely bothering me. For some reason it had to be that one.

Pressing my ear ever so lightly up against the door I listened within trying to make out the video that was playing and if there was any real action going on in there. I thought I could make out the man moan sounds from this one but they still sounded mixed.

Would that even be a good thing? I mean if the guy was into Gay porn he might want to fuck me and I couldn't take that. Reaching back I felt my bum, slipping my finger in the crack and then realizing what I was doing I turned to the right quickly.

The man that had been camped in the hall was gone so I was safe. Don't give anyone ideas, I thought in a panic.

What to do?

I rubbed my crotch a little bit giving me a little jolt of horniness, which mixed with my bit of liquid courage made my next move possible.

My fingers balled into a fist, knuckles inches from the door. Bending forward I listened again at the door then lightly knocked three times.

Nothing?

Maybe someone had put on a movie with time still on it and had finished their business early. It was a reason at least I reasoned.

I reached forward to the doorknob and turning it quietly I slowly opened the door.

What I would have thought if the situation was turned around I don't know. Trapped in a booth and confronted by a stranger wanting, who knows what, would have made me very nervous. There was the knock though I had that at least.

Standing and facing the screen was a rather beefy man. He seemed to be a sort of blue-collar guy, maybe a trucker. Was that the kind of guys that patronized this place? I might grow to like this.

His pants where down so the first thing that came to eye was his two heavy cheeks with more than light hair covering them but not gorilla like. His right fist was pumping to video of a large man rather like him taking a younger guy something like me from behind.

My mind said run, but my feet were planted as if I was ordered to enter the booth and stay.

The man turned back towards with a quizzed look in his eyes.

"Oh, my, I'm so sorry. I thought it might be empty. I don't have much money ... thought might ... be left over..." I blurted, stumbling over my words.

He just turned back to the screen and continued, but I did notice a definite shift in his stoking speed from hurried to slow and measured.

Every second I stood there my excuse, which was already thin, was falling apart. If I lingered to long more explanations would be necessary, but I couldn't, no be honest, didn't want to leave.

There wasn't any way that I could actually make out his cock from my angle but judging from the stocky frame of the stud in front of me it had to be something special. I had to see it.

The cock was mine and I knew it if only I had the guts to take action. He was waiting for me to make a move, knowing that I would.

Swallowing hard, I let the door close behind me and kneeled down behind him.

The click of the door prompted him to speed up slightly in his strokes.

Kneeling silently, I put my arms behind me, tilted my head back a little and partially opened my mouth. If he were to turn around now there would be no question as to what it was I was there for and hopefully he would take what was offered.

Now his right hand moved even faster, at about the speed he was going when I came in. His breaths started getting more shallow. The cheeks of his bottom clenched from time to time as if he were fucking.

Wanting to be involved in the action I leaned forward and placed my lips lightly on his backside, brushing them over one cheek and then moving to the other. I started kissing his butt.

Deep inside was the earnest hope that he would turn and feed me. It was the plan that I had when I came and now that it seemed to have rolled into motion I wanted to carry it to the very end.

I started alternating between little licks and gentle kisses, hoping my escalations would provoke a response and before long they did.

The man reached back with is free hand, grabbing the back of my head. Then he shoved his rear back onto my face, pushing my nose and lips right up into his crack.

This was more than I had bargained for. The scent was heavy and musky. I pulled back but he had my hair clenched in his fist, riding my face with his ass.

"Tongue it boy, lick me," came the gruff voice.

There was just no way. I wasn't on the point of retching or anything, but it was all too much for me to take. Taking my hands from behind me, I pushed on his thighs, freeing myself from his grasp. Then leaned back on my haunches.

The man turned to me and reached down again with his meaty left hand, grabbed a handful of hair and pushed my head back and down, standing over top of me.

The head of his tool was pointed right at my face and he was furiously mashing and pounding away, beckoning the seed of man come forth. He fucked the air just inches above my face. And in one final thrust shoot a big glob of his seed into my right eye.

I fell back a little but his hand supported me. The eye burnt and was sealed shut but more came. Splat on my cheek and then some touched my lips. The last bit he literally milked out of his cock in a long stream the pooled on my forehead.

It was a very small feeling to huddle on the floor like that with the man's sperm covering my face. With my good left eye I watched him pull up his pants and buckle his belt. Then he fished around in his shirt pocket for a card.

"Here." He said in his deep workmanlike voice, "Call me next time your heading this way."

He turned back to the screen where the young man was calling out in ecstasy as he was impaled on a thick long cock.

The man turned back down to me before leaving.

"Next time it's your choice. Lick it or I'll stick it." Then he paused. "You don't think you will call, but you will."

Wanting a moment's peace. I quickly closed the door after him as he left. The plywood panel of the wall supported my back as I leaned against it. In one hand I held the card reading Frank's Construction while with the other I fished the cum out of my eye.

I contemplated the white juice covering the whole of my forefinger. What should I do with it? My tongue ran over my lips to test the flavor of what he had left there. Not too bad. I wanted to taste it to put it in my mouth, but there was something different about looking at it like that, before all of the semen had been deposited directly in my mouth.

Pulling my finger up to my nose I gave it a sniff. The same fresh smell was there but there as a hint of an almost bleachy smell too. I brought some of the juice in my mouth to my lips as if to spit and then took it back in rolling it over my tongue to get a taste. I wanted more of that taste in my mouth.

Having made my decision I ran the finger over my lips and then collected some with my tongue, rubbed my eye to further clear it, passed over my forehead and cheek returning to suck the cream off my finger.

The video had moved on now and this time it was a thin white boy on his knees in front of a talk black man with a long, thin cock. It made me think of the rocker's cock from the night before. I reached down between my legs and squeezed the head of my penis gently, making it jump.

There had been I think four other booths that were lit up, but surely I didn't dare just walk up and knock on those doors. At my heart I really just wanted to stay and have this as kind of my base, so my short-term plan was to leave my bag here and keep the door open to see what I could do to get more cock.

I peeked back out into the hall. The two booths at my end were empty but there were still a few lit up down the way and a couple guys were milling about in the hall. One was actually heading down my way.

Not knowing what to do I turned sideways looking at the porn for a while and then back to the hall. If the door were left open that should be an invitation I hoped.

Tall and lean the figure I had seen in the hall passed in front of my door and peered in cautiously. Where the other men that I had met here seem more like working men what I guess I would call a "real man" this guy was almost certainly playing for the other team.

He was a black man, very thin with tight skinny jeans wearing a loose silk blouse. I had to call it that because it bore no resemblance to anything I had seen a man dare wear before. Where I was still very nervous here he seemed to own the place. His features were sharp, almost too sharp. It was too dark to tell, but I was sure the he wore some kind of makeup to highlight his eyebrows and lips.

The look on my face must have been priceless. I meant nothing by it, but I simply had to gawk at the man who was almost a girl except in one regard. Through his tight jeans there was a clear outline of another long penis. They seemed to be all over, I started to feel self-conscious about the size of mine. It was almost disturbing that this person that was so outwardly feminine in all other regards would have such a natural endowment.

Breaking the silence that hung before us, he spoke in a low voice, looking around him. "You waiting for someone hun?"

I didn't know how to respond. So I was just honest.

"Umm I guess so. I like just fooled around with a guy and I guess, umm, I was looking for another, but I'm not really sure how to do that."

A big smile spread across his face, deep and genuine but with a great deal of amusement.

"New huh, hun? Let me guess you like sucking them big cocks?" He said and grabbed himself demonstratively through his jeans.

I almost blushed. It was odd. I wasn't really all that interested in him because he was so fem so I wasn't like a guy I was going to suck was saying that to me as an invitation. It was more like I had a confidant someone who understood, but his understanding made the whole thing more real for me. If as I just seemed to assume he was like me in wanting to pleasure men, then I must be like him as well.

I looked at him a minute and let that sink in.

"Well do you?" he asked again. I was taking too long. "Hun?"

"I'm sorry," I said hurriedly, "Yes I am here looking to suck on some guys. The last one, like, shoved my face in his ass and then beat off on my face. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for.

"Hmm, or maybe it was." He returned. "Hey your pretty cute you wouldn't want to let me suck you once? You might like it and I do know my way around down there."

I took half a step back and lightly shook my head no, not wanting to disappoint, but really not interested at that point either.

"I guess not. Well it's ok," he said with a hint of pity in his lilting voice. "Here I'll help you since you new. You want this booth down here. C'mon."

I grabbed my pack and followed him out into the hall, past the opening to the back area and onto the right side. He sashayed back and forth. If you didn't know better you might think it was a nice girl's butt, except he seemed to exaggerate his steps more than any lady I had ever seen.