I was on my way over to pick up Reid from work. We were going to hang out like we've been doing quite a bit the last six or so months.
My relationship with Reid is unusual by common standards. There's a good 20 years separating our ages. He's finishing his 20's; I'm in middle age. Many folks wonder why - or even how - the two of us came to know each other.
I think what it comes down to is, we've been largely dissatisfied with the selection in our own age groups, at least in the major city in which we both live. For me, it comes down to having little or nothing in common with other middle-agers. I've never been married, never had kids, never bought a mortgaged home. Many middle-aged folk, that's what they know best. The vast majority of the ones I see in public, I'll look at, and think to myself,
I don't have a shred in common with you other than our ages
. As too many middle-agers skew right-of-center, I'm not eager to spend time with them. My being gay certainly doesn't help.
With Reid, it's similar. He's not just a hottie, he has a brain, a sense of humor. He's multicultural. He's bemoaned to me how superficial so many guys his own age are - how they're just about getting wasted, about sports, about getting laid. They never
read
anything - books, newspapers, magazines, even online. Reid says talking to most guys at this time in humanity is a colossal bore.
We met at a local independent coffee place. I saw his long, flaxen locks that touched the top of his shoulders, comfortably hanging off his head, and his pert brown eyes stealing looks at me from across the room. I'm no looker, so I wasn't sure why I was drawing his gaze.
But one moment, when we were at the counter together, he heard me make a joke to the barista. He made a joke off my joke. I laughed. He smiled.
"What are you about?" I kidded him.
"You look smart," he said back. "I like smart. Where ya sittin'?"
"Over on the couch," I said.
We walked back over and sat down, side by side, and we didn't stop talking for 90 minutes. We had to have covered some three dozen different subjects - art, news, education, popular music, technology, spirituality, psychology, and so much more. For both of us, it was a spectacular bonding of two minds.
Coming out to each other after all that was pretty easy. Again, our dating histories were pretty similar - both of us were disappointed with "the community." Comparing notes with him was like talking to myself.
All that flashed through my mind as I sat at the curb, engine running, listening to smooth jazz on a satellite radio channel. I must have been lost deep in my thoughts because I jumped a bit when I heard the knock on the passenger-side glass from Reid.
I looked over. It
was
Reid, but it was Reid sporting a shorter hair style than when I'd seen him two days prior. Apparently he snuck over to a hair salon and got a cut. It was a neat cut. There was still some length to it, thankfully - it was nowhere near a crew cut. It still hung comfortably off his head, loosely, but the change was noticeable. I immediately missed his rocker-dude locks, but I did like this new look.
I reached over and unlocked the passenger door. He opened it and got in. We embraced warmly.
"Heeeey!" I said in a half-joking voice. "Look at you! Did ya lose a bet?"
"I just thought it was time," Reid said, smiling.
And as I pulled away from the curb, heading for my place, we talked about hair in general - the history of styles, barbers vs salon stylists, and a whole bunch of other stuff.