A Very Dirty Little Sissy 'girl'

I love to please my boyfriend. I masturbate thinking about that. A lot. To hear him when he's in me, on top of me, lost to my tight little hole or my mouth, I love the sound of him, the 'man' noises he makes! But as much as I like to please him, I just like to please men. Do I ever. I've been at it since just after high school. And there is nothing hotter than a fully erect and rock hard real man that is going to have his way with me. I get dizzy thinking about it, wet too. And my boyfriend is all that and more.

My current boyfriend does a thing that makes me insanely crazy for him. Being pushed up against the wall, face and chest tight to it, held firmly by my upper arms, pinned, and to feel his rock hard erection up against my butt before he puts it in me, that makes me melt. I literally have a hard time standing. I get wet just thinking about that. He pins me firmly to the wall like that sometimes just as he comes in my front door. He'll just flip up my skirt or lower my panties (if I'm wearing any) and take me like that. He doesn't even say 'hi', just drops his pants and his underwear to the floor. He's ready as soon as he sees me. He holds my arms so tight sometimes that he's left tiny bruises on them before. When I feel his warm erection up between and buried deep in my cheeks, feel him feeling around with the head of it running it up and down, feeling for my hole, feel him take his hand from one of my arms and then guide the head of his hard-on into me, I could scream. I do sometimes.

And then to feel him take my arm back into his hand as he pushes me up off my toes deep inside of me while holding me in place, it's the most submissive feeling I've ever known. I feel truly possessed by him, like that. To be fucked like that, lifted up almost off my toes with each of his fast thrusts, brings tears to my eyes. I love the way he loses himself to my butt when he does that, feel his teeth on the back of my neck, wow. I can feel him so deep in me it's almost like he's up in my throat. And when he finally cums, having me like that against the wall, I can feel each spurt of him deep inside of me. I can hardly pull myself off the wall after he finishes with me. I almost fall to the floor limp and dizzy when he lets my arms go. He always brings me back to full awareness when he slaps my bare butt hard enough to hurt and tells me, 'good boy'.

My current boyfriend is one of the good ones. Most men cum and run, have to get away fast, are afraid of the 'queer fear' they feel after they cum. They have to get back home to the safety of their wife. I love that my boyfriend likes to stay. I love that he likes me messy too. He likes to see me drip, likes to see his cum run out of me and down my legs as I walk around or sometimes pose for him.

After he's had me he likes for me to stay like that, messy, him running out of my butt staining my stockings or legs. I try to wear the cutest shoes for him just for that reason, to look super model wet and messy. Cool shoes and lace top thigh high stockings set it all off nicely. I sometimes make him lunch or serve him drinks like that after having my butt used by him, me dripping onto my kitchen floor. If he's naked he'll sometimes sit me on his lap and feel my wetness on his legs. He likes to finger me like that. I love that!! He sometimes puts me over his lap like that too, and pets or spanks me! I love the feeling of his fingers reaching down into my wet cheeks and spreading them, knowing he's looking down into my butt, inspecting my tight little wet hole, looking at the rear end he owns. And he does. The man makes me crazy when he does that!

When I go down on him I swallow for him when he cums but I always do it in a very erotic way. I don't just swallow non-stop as he spurts. I make sure some of it backs up in my mouth and runs out slightly. I like to be messy. I use that word too much, 'messy'. But it's accurate and descriptive of what I do...and am for this man. I like for him to see that. He loves to see that, when he's looking at me and doesn't have his eyes closed, lost to my mouth. I make it a show for him. And depending on the makeup, the lip gloss, I choose to wear it all is highlighted in a most erotic way.

One of my favorites is when I'm wearing a dark velour or thin tight knit sweater top to let a lot of it drip down on to the front of me. Black is best for this 'look'. I know he likes seeing me 'marked' like that. I think my favorite way to go down on him is on my knees.

And he likes to have me with my head over the edge of the bed, mouth fucking me like that. I do that for him, sometimes choking but I never say 'no'. Sometimes he pulls out of my butt when he's ready to cum and hurries up over the top of me to finish in my mouth, but my personal favorite is kneeling in front of him. I can really work him like that. It is beyond hot to me to do it for him like that, on my knees. I make a tiny hard point of the tip of my tongue and push it into the hole of his erection. I make him squirm so deliciously like that. I love to cup the underside of it with my tongue and run it over the hole, push the head of it against the roof of my mouth and hold him in place like that as I masturbate him. I'm very good at that. And when I want to make a man cum that is the technique I use to make that happen. They can't resist.

I like to be his 'eye candy' too. I go out of my way to be soft and sissy like. I want him to be hard thinking about what I'll look like for him before he comes in the door. I do all the pencil skirts, sexy sweaters and blouses, boots, shoes, and the 'big girl look', etc. But that is not my favorite. My favorite look is one many men have said they've never seen before they saw me do it. And it's a look that gives them all of me instantly. And many have said that their wives would never think of doing that for them. It's really very simple. The hardest part is the makeup. It takes over an hour to get that just right. That takes the longest to get perfect. I do this outfit in several colors but like black the most. I wear ankle boots, 3" stiletto spikes, with ruffled white sissy sox, the ruffles just outside the top of the boots to show off my baby smooth legs. I wear no panties or stockings. I wear a lace choker around my neck and a white matching lace ribbon tide around my tiny balls and penis. The ribbon is tied tight up under it all to push my little sissy thing and balls up and out in front. This puts me on full display.

My little soft pink penis is no more 2", no more than 3" erect, and this truly emphasizes what I am. I do mega makeup, huge false lashes with way too much shadow and mascara, super shiny glossed pink lips to set it all off. I do a thing with my hair moussed up and over my ear on one side, down and slightly over my ear and eye on the other. I wear large plastic hoop earrings, always match the color of my bow and choker, that hit my shoulders. I have never had a man see this look and not get instantly rock hard. I sometimes wear a very short, just barely below the cheeks of my butt, silk robe but lose that as soon as they come in the door. I also lubricate my little hole thoroughly but delicately. Slippery but not so much as to be messy if they want me to sit on their lap, I don't ever want to stain a man's pants. But I want him to be able to get into me easily. I like to be instantly accessible. It is a very cute look, not mention a ready to please look!

Sometimes I put on what my boyfriend calls my 'dirty little show'. After he's had me how ever he wants me I'll put on a pair of wide front panel panties. I push as much K-Y jelly down into the front of them as possible. I've done this with tight panty girdles too but panties are so much more erotic. I put two pillows, one on top of the other, on my bed and then position myself over the top of them. I fuck the pillows until I fill my panties with cum. It's always a struggle to cum like that. And I always make sure to wear very cute shoes for this. They are a must, little feet thrashing around! My boyfriend finds it all very amusing, watching me struggle and work to cum, many times a paddle in his hand to 'encourage' me to work harder. That, and masturbating in front of him and into his hand are both very humiliating. And after I cum like that I feel much shame and embarrassment. But that does not stop me from thinking about doing it all again sooner than later. I find the submissive shame addictive. I always have. If a man makes me feel like that I want him to fuck me, use my mouth or butt all the more.

There is no moral to this story. I just love gushing about the man (and the men!) I give myself too. What do I get out it, you may ask? I get the hotter than hot image of a driven little whore, makeup smeared all over her sissy face, cum in her mouth, in her hair, red and stinging little rear end dripping down her leg, panties down to her ankles as she masturbates herself in front of full length mirror into her hand, just before she smears her cum all over her face thinking about being the dirtiest little bitch in all the land. That's what I get. And I get an almost constant wet spot in the front of my panties day in and day out thinking about doing all of it. I get to know I'm a total whore for the man that owns and uses me as he pleases. And I love that! I really do!