*****The following story is fiction and all characters are 18 and older*****
Part 3 of the Rohan and Arturo Holiday series.
Hooking up with a straight man is always a special feeling because it's a rare occurrence. Perhaps it's that feeling of curiosity that urges them to say 'yes' to a hook up. But at the end, the men simply walk out of your life and back into their straight life. A memory that fades in their mind. Those feelings you manifest in that brief time you spent together, must be buried deep.
It's a strange feeling.
But it's even stranger when the straight man has feelings for you; like if they are in a honeymoon phase. Many times in my life, I've hooked up with straight men, and we would simply part ways after. But Rohan was different. The man had manifested feelings for me rather quickly; too quickly that it held grounds for suspicion. He claimed he felt special when he was with me. Part of me felt these feelings weren't genuine as if he was keeping me around to use as a hole. A "pocket bussy" as some might call it. This feeling kept itching at me like an annoying rash.
I decided to set some boundaries and stipulations on our first date to see if this relationship was more than just great sex. I had told him this, "I think we shouldn't have sex until I believe you've earned it."
Rohan stared at me with a confused look on his face. We sat in a corner booth in a Chili's in Whittier. He wanted a place where no one would recognize him. Which I understood, the man was discovering his new found homosexual feelings. Normally, I'd hate that, but Rohan needed room to walk under the rainbow light. He couldn't do that with people he might know seeing him. He'd get discouraged and scared to continue. He had to be comfortable with me.
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea," he finally said.
"Really? What if you get the urge?" I brought my foot to his groin under the table and rubbed it.
He smiled, "Stop that, you'll dirty my pants. Also, I've gone months without sex. I'll live. Also, also, I remember what you said last week that you didn't want the relationship to be based on good sex. I want to get to know you and do stuff with you," he reached for my hand and grabbed it.
The gentle touch made my heart warm.
But it was a brief moment as the waitress came back, causing Rohan to release his hand. She placed the plates of food on our table and left.
"I'm sorry," Rohan said.
I grabbed my knife and fork, "Rohan, it's fine. I don't expect you to be fully comfortable in public yet. It was a nice gesture."
He smiled, and we ate.
As the weeks of January went on, Rohan and I spent a good amount of time together every week. About 2-3 days. Since his college was only 15 minutes away from my Target, we'd meet after work, and hang out for an hour or two. I had to admit, he was putting in the effort which I liked.
I learned a lot about him in those weeks. Rohan came from a wealthy family. His mother worked for a pharmaceutical company; his stepfather was a lawyer. Rohan didn't talk about his real father. It was clear that that was a touchy subject for him. Rohan had an older sister, but she was barely mentioned, which made me wonder if there were any issues between them.
On the third week of our dating, Rohan opened up to me a bit more. It was surprising how quickly this relationship was forming. He was bringing me gifts every time we saw each other, we took pictures together, and even kissed a few times. He was truly making me feel special, and that itch of doubt had started to fade.
That week, we almost had sex, but I couldn't bring him back to my apartment; my mother was there doing her usual weekly cleaning. My mother loved to stay active. I insisted on doing it myself, but it was the only time I could really see her without visiting my parent's home. I still wasn't on good terms with my father.
I had proposed going to his apartment, but when I did, a shadow fell over him. We sat on a bench in the middle of a park outside of Los Angeles. "Look, we can't go back to my place. My roommate..." his voice trailed off.
I rubbed his shoulder, "It's okay. We don't want to disturb your roommate. That would be awkward."
"It's more than that, Arturo. Samuel, my roommate, is...well, he's homophobic."
"Ah, I see. I'm sorry. We can do it some other time."
"Yeah, that's fine," he looked down at the ground. He seemed like a scared teenager. So fragile, unsure of himself, scared. It was an odd sight to see, this sculpted man being so sensitive with me, so vulnerable. Maybe this relationship can work.
Either he was a great actor or these were his real feelings. I got mad at myself for even thinking that. The man was being vulnerable with me and here I was casting doubt like a wizard.
"Is everything okay, Rohan?"
"Yeah, everything is fine. It's just, am I being a good boyfriend?"
Boyfriend? Were we there already? I mean, how many dates are required before we start labeling it a relationship. We are already far past the sex part, and the dates have been getting better and better. The feelings are definitely there between us. The only thing that hung over it was that darn cloud of doubt. It was that stubborn speck of dirt on the window.
"Well, I didn't realize we were already saying boyfriend to each other."
"Are we not? Did I speak too soon?" Rohan said. He sounded worried. It was cute.
I smiled, "Rohan, no, you didn't. I will call you my boyfriend if you call me yours."
Rohan brought his hand to my cheek and brought my face to his, a warm hot breath was between our faces as we looked into each other's eyes and kissed, "Yes, Arturo. I will call you my boyfriend."
Rohan kissed with passion. I felt the love between us, but neither of us had said that word to each other. I wondered when he would say it.
"To answer your question, yes, you have been a good boyfriend so far. I know it's an adjustment period for you. For me as well. It's not often I get to date a straight man."
He smirked, "Well, according to Reddit, I'm probably bisexual or a closeted homosexual."
I raised an eyebrow, "Reddit? Of all places, you go to Reddit to ask for advice?"
"I mean, where else would I go? I have no one to ask. I am not out to my friends or family."
He made a point.
"Okay, you're right. But Reddit is an echo chamber, so tread lightly," we fell silent.
A gentle breeze moved through the park. Our hands were glued to each other. Love was definitely in the air. The LA weather helped with this, despite it still being winter, the temperatures were nice outside.
Rohan removed his hand from mine and wrapped his around my shoulder to bring me in for a kiss. "So, what else did Reddit teach you about being a good boyfriend?" I said.
He chuckled, "Well, to communicate and be honest."
"Mhmm, what else?" I held a grin on my face. He was so cute trying to tell me this stuff.
"Uh to bring you gifts; lots of gifts."
"People on the internet told you to bring me gifts?"
"They did. Which reminds me," he dug into his leather jacket pocket, "Since I've read the book already," he held out two tickets, "We can go watch the Wicked stage musical."
My eyes widened with happiness, "Really? Okay, someone is definitely getting laid soon."
We shared a laugh and kissed.
The kiss felt good, but there was one kiss that lingered on my mind. The one on the first day we met. I wondered why he did so if he was straight.
On another date we ate at a steakhouse in Burbank.
"Rohan, can I ask you something?" I said calmly. He had been digging his knife into his steak.
"Shoot."
"Why did you kiss me that day? The first day we met in the Santa house? I've always wondered why a straight man would do so?"