Goddamn, was he handsome.
Such were my sudden--though hardly unprecedented--thoughts as my face was shoved into the wall beside that of my arch-rival, Amir Khalili.
I might have attributed them to the stress of our situation, but I would have been fooling myself. I'd had a hard-on from hell since long before Edgewick pulled us apart. Fighting could do that to me. Even arguments. Anything that got my blood up. Especially with this kid.
I glanced at the Khalili kid out of the corner of my eye. I didn't exactly surprise myself with my buzz of sexual arousal; I'd had bi fantasies before (or maybe you could call them gay fantasies, since there weren't any women in them). Had I ever fantasized about Khalili? Probably not, though I realized he was good-looking, and he was kind of my type, I suppose: Tall, slim, dark-featured, snarky little mouth, a clever boy. I guess I'd always disliked him too much to appreciate it. Or maybe the dislike was part of the latent attraction.
Edgewick's heavy hands lingered on our necks for a moment while he let us sweat.
All I could see now was a hawkish Arab nose, a big dark heavy-lidded eye. Not the one I'd blackened, though the eyelid was so thick and lush it took me a second to tell. The eye darted over at me. I looked back at the wall.
"Eisen," Edgewick intoned, "Khalili."
We didn't respond. We weren't meant to.
"I don't know what all of that was about, though if it mattered I'm sure I could wager a good guess." Edgewick sighed. He sounded very tired. "But it doesn't matter, and I don't care who started it either, all that matters is that it was a shameless display on both your parts. You're young men. Seniors, for Christ's sakes...."
Neither of us was much concerned about the sakes of Christ, not usually and especially not now-- and I assure you he knew that. But I didn't think it would be prudent to critique the wording of Edgewick's pre-ass-slicing lecture.
"... and I never want to witness such conduct from either of you again."
I dared to glance over at him again. It looked like he was biting his inner lip. Or maybe he was just sucking the blood from where I'd split it. His smooth olive skin seemed to glow with sweat.
"Stay there."
Behind us we could hear Edgewick opening his desk drawer. We were in his inner sanctum, and lunch period had just ended, so everything was dead quiet except for this and our nervous breathing.
For the record, it was Khalili who started it, with one of his cute political one-liners. Maybe he did have a point, and maybe it was clever, but it was also pretty clear where he was going with it.
At Catholic T___ High, we basically were the Arab-Israeli conflict, though only my mother was actually Israeli, and Khalili was, I think, Saudi Arabian, not Palestinian. So it really wasn't our problem, but it was an obsessive topic of our free-style practice debates and a huge reason for the antagonism between us.
I'd felt justified slugging him. Which made him feel like taking a good swing at me. And so on, until we were rolling around on the floor tearing at each other. Which was, I have to admit now, pretty hot even at the time.
I'd glimpsed my face in the mirror that Edgy keeps in the tiny anteroom between his outer and inner offices. Even with the red mark on my cheek and all the sweat I thought I looked pretty good. My straight dark hair was all mussed up. I have sexy tawny-gold eyes, nothing like Khalili's black beauties except for the long black lashes, but they're bedroom eyes anyway, and they peered back at me from behind my glasses as the slight fog on my lenses cleared up. My full pink lips were beginning to fatten on the left side where Khalili's fist had caught them. My light skin was flushed in a way I found strangely exciting. I'm kind of a narcissist, I know it. I wondered what Khalili saw when he looked at me. We were the stars of the debate team, and long-time rivals, as I've mentioned, so he'd also seen me all tricked out--tie and blazer and neat hair and all that. I'd seen him in the suits he probably borrowed from his older brother, which dragged slightly at the cuffs.
If you didn't go for the jock type, Amir Khalili and I were arguably two of the best-looking guys in school, or so I was thinking right now. We had a few things in common besides that. We were academic types, but we both participated in semi-solitary, endurance-based sports like track and swimming. So we had real nice, lean bodies. We were a good match for each other in a fight.
We'd each had to take a certain amount of shit off the musclehead contingent at this school. Because of our good grades, our backgrounds. Even so, fighting with fists really wasn't like either of us.
There was another moment of just our noses pressed to the wall, then Edgewick shut his desk drawer.
"Since you boys clearly have forgotten how to feel shame, perhaps a refresher course in that emotion is in order. "
Oh shit--An awful thought had come to me unbidden---He's not going to have us cane each other, is he? I was suddenly sure I'd never be able to keep from---Either during his turn or mine---I wouldn't be able to help it.
"To re-teach you about shame, I will introduce an additional humiliation to accompany the pain. You will watch each other's chastisement. Or, to put it another way, you will be watched."
He let that sink in.
"Eisen?"
A chill ran down my spine and settled in my butt-crack. Or maybe it was a drop of cold sweat. My ass clenched tight.