The alarm goes off again, but I ignore it this time around.
My boyfriend nudges me, and says sleepily, "Baby, turn it off."
"You turn it off," I mutter, throwing the blanket over my head.
Slade's warm body drapes across mine as he leans over to stop it. He flops onto his back. "Aaron, get your ass up, or you're gonna be late for work. If you wait too long you won't have time to shower."
Grabbing my boyfriend of two years, I snuggle in closer and kiss his neck. "You like it when I don't shower."
His face scrunches. "Usually, but not now, you're ripe, babe."
"I don't want to go to work. This is the start of our summer vacation," I whine miserably.
"If I have to work today, you have to work today," he answers with sleepy laugh when I nuzzle his neck. "We have a lot of plans this summer and it costs money. Now, get that cute ass of yours out of my bed, and go to work."
"Fine, Jones, I'll go, but only if you give me a kiss." I pucker up waiting for him to lean in.
"No, I have morning breath."
"Me, too. It's never stopped us before," I tell him, puckering up again.
With a half-smile, he kisses me, playfully nibbling my bottom lip, and when I return the favor, he moans. I don't know how much time has passed so I reluctantly check the clock. I have about ten minutes to get on the road, when I move from under Slade, he groans.
The lamp by his bed only partially lights his garage apartment. He mutters throwing the blanket over his head. Knowing I have to rush now, I wash up quickly, and run a brush through my shaggy, unruly mop of blond hair. My light brown eyes are a little red from lack of sleep.
Slade appears next to me placing his head on my shoulder. "Are you coming over later?"
"Yeah, but I'll go home first to shower considerin' you distracted me this morning from taking one." I make a stupid face in the mirror making him laugh.
"Okay. I'm only working until three today, so I'll be here. You know Pa's gone fishing with Clay, Kev will be off somewhere with Shelly, and Mama has the other's out shopping and visiting Auntie Bernie in Norfolk."
"We could've had so much fun with everyone out the house if we both didn't have to work," I say wrapping my arms around his waist. Slade locks his arms around my neck, and kisses me lazily while his fingers skim through my hair.
He smiles slyly when we break apart. "We definitely could've had some fun."
I stare into his sapphire-blue eyes and nearly get lost in them. "I gotta get goin'."
"See you later, baby."
"Later, Jones."
With another kiss and a heavy swat to my ass, Slade ushers me out the door to greet the dewy morning. I'm off for another fun-filled day of selling/cutting lumber to inept homeowners.
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I didn't understand why I wasn't like my other friends. Up until the age of twelve, we all felt the same way about girls... that they were gross, but I never out grew those feelings. It wasn't until I was thirteen that I'd started to put the pieces together. I was and am gay. I didn't understand what it meant. However, the day I met Slade Jones, I began to understand. His family moved from Norfolk, VA to my small town of South Hill, VA to be closer to his grandfather. I thank God every day that they did.
When he walked into homeroom, I felt this instant connection to him. The feeling of everything I'd ever need or want was standing right before my eyes, and it scared the hell out of me. However, at fourteen, how could I even begin to comprehend what I was thinking and feeling?
The first two years of our friendship were the toughest. The more we hung out, the harder I fell for him, but I kept my feelings to myself. I couldn't risk losing him, so, I had to be content with him just being my friend.
Everything changed the night that Slade kissed me. We were sitting outside cooling off on the bleachers during a school dance, when he leaned over, and his soft lips touched mine. He took my stunned silence as a rejection and ran. I chased him down. He begged me not to hit him, and started rambling. So, I kissed him to shut him up.
From then on, we were Aaron & Slade though no one else knew.
We haven't talked about the prospect of coming out to our families and friends. I would rather not. I'm not ashamed but I can't break my parent's heart by telling them their only son is gay. Not after all of the things they've done for me. I might tell them eventually but not any time soon.
Around others, we're pals, acting like straight teenage boys, talking about and dating girls. We made a pact never to do more than kiss the girls we take out. We date enough to keep people from asking questions. Keeping up the pretense that we're both into girls is tiresome and takes a toll.
I love spending time with Slade because there are no worries or pressure. We can be our cheesy, stupid selves. But it's hard getting that alone time with us both being athletes, students and working after school jobs. He has a large family too. He's the oldest of six plus his parents. So sometimes, it's easier to hang out at my house, when we have the time.
The one major aspect of our relationship that I can't wait to change is our virgin status. It's hard sharing a bed with him knowing nothing is going to happen. I want Slade so much but I know he's not ready. He's shut me down each time I've tried. I have had plenty of nights when it was just my hand and me. In the past three months, we celebrated his 18th birthday, and our two-year anniversary, yet still nothing. Therefore, I've taken a step back with the hope that he'll let me know when he's ready. I love him enough that I'll wait for however long it takes.
I don't just love him. I'm in love with him. We've never expressed the word aloud to each other, I know he loves me, and I'm sure he knows I love him too. Most couples who've been dating for two years have already passed both of the precipices of sex and/or declaring their love, but we're not the typical relationship, and I tell him this all the time. It works for us, and I don't care what anyone else might think.
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Driving to work, I think back to how I might not have met Slade at all.
When I was ten years old, I had a routine checkup at the doctors; he discovered a lump in my neck. I knew three things: it could be nothing, I would have to take a pill for the rest of my life, or it was cancer. The chance of it being serious like cancer was something I didn't grasp at my age. After the biopsy and test, I learned it was Thyroid Cancer.
After having my thyroidectomy, I didn't have to go through chemotherapy but I did have radioiodine therapy. It killed my taste buds. I could've had the hottest pepper known to man and I wouldn't have been able to taste it. Because I couldn't taste I barely ate, so drinking meal replacement shakes balanced out my diet.
I thought it was over. I was wrong.
During a follow up a few months later, my doctor discovered that I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and told me I would have to undergo chemotherapy.
My little sister, Candace, never left my side. She watched over me like a hawk, helping Ma whenever she could. She read to me from her little books, watched television, or played board games with me. Even when I was mean, she was there. I knew she needed her big brother to get better so I could be there to watch out for her. So I did what could and prayed the cancer would go away.
Ma wouldn't let me wallow in self-pity. She made me study and do homework. I kept up with school because of her. Dad was there too. He taught me so much. However, what stuck out the most for me, one day I asked him why he was crying because men don't cry. And he told me, "A man can cry and still be a man. Don't be afraid to cry, kiddo, especially when it's for someone you love."
We got through my illness and I've been in remission for over five years. I passed my yearly check-up seven months ago and have nothing holding me back. My life is smooth sailing.
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