I couldn't get the thought out of my mind- Gabriel had gotten hot. Since our last summer together, Gabe had changed schools, dyed his hair, and started painting his nails. He'd gotten taller, and his tan skin had cleared up significantly. We had been close since we both started attending the summer camp in the first grade, but now I couldn't stop staring at him, or noticing how his broader shoulders now filled out the tie-dye camp shirt that had been too big on him for years.
"So are you going to answer my question or what?" he asked, startling me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry, what?"
"Which cabin were you assigned to?" Now that we were 18, we had been hired as counselors, though truthfully it was just an excuse for people to keep going to summer camp once they had grown out of it.
"Oh. Acorn."
"Boooo," he lamented, "Acorns are assholes. I'm in Oak."
"Yeah. You'll have to come visit me sometime," the words felt like someone else was speaking through my mouth. I had known Gabriel my whole life, but now talking to him felt different, like I was speaking to an intimidating stranger and I couldn't quite remember how to move my lips. He smiled, though, and quickly responded, placing one hand on my knee under the table,
"Yeah? How about tonight, after lights out?" My eyes widened, but he just kept smiling. His hand moved further up my leg while he kept conversing with our friends and gently massaged my thigh. Just the pressure of his fingertips made me blush. I barely heard a word anyone else said during the whole lunch break.
That night, I lead the kids back to the Acorn cabin after the usual first-day ceremony, a moment where campers all sit around the fire and do some singing that harkens back to the summer camp's roots as an interfaith community, but only in the least controversial way possible. I comforted one kid who was sad to be away from his parents for the first time, went through the cabin rules, and helped distribute the bunks, all while thinking about Gabriel's request. While I was no stranger to sneaking out with him, this time seemed different, especially because of the way he grabbed my knee. Once the lights were out, I climbed into my bunk and waited, staring into the darkness, my heart beating rapidly. I heard the older counselors make their rounds, peeking into the cabins to make sure everything was in order, and then I waited 20 minutes longer. Gabriel and I had always timed it like that, to make sure the counselors were all asleep before we snuck out.