Adam's Advertisement

Sometimes I just get really fucking horny. Usually that's when I text my ex, because I'm actually the absolute worst and wouldn't know self control if it was literally dicking me down. I was on break on my weekend job with my finger about to send a message when Beth grabbed my phone out of my hand.

"I know that look." She said. "If you're fucking texting Matt again I swear to God..."

"I wasn't texting Matt!" She squinted at the phone.

"Huh. I guess not. You're texting someone called Mistake that you're horny as hell and asking what they're doing tonight. My apologies dude, you're clearly thinking straight after all."

"Shut up." I grabbed the phone off her. However, her interruption was enough for me to snap out of it and realise how fucked up it would be to text Matt and I mumbled my thanks as I deleted the message instead of hitting send. He was a cunt, besides, I was pretty sure he was seeing someone new. If I wanted to be a hole there were plenty more fish in the sea. Still... better the devil you know. I hate trying new things. I sighed and switched my phone on silent. Maybe by the end of my shift I'd be too tired to be this horny anyway.

Jamie gave me a look as I returned to the coffee machine. I don't know him that well, although he actually got me the job. I was complaining that I needed something in between plays and theatre work to pay rent and he happened to be around.

"We need a weekend barista." He said. "Can you make coffee?" I raised my eyebrows at him. I'd been a barista like 9 years ago when I was still at Uni, sure, but that was one hell of a step backwards. He looked at me with a shit eating grin. "Yeah. I know." He said. "But you know what's even lamer than working in hospitality? Not making rent." So I took the job.

I liked Jamie, he hated the gig almost as much as I did, plus he had a fucking beautiful ass- not that I looked too often since that ass was thoroughly claimed and adored by my mate Liam in my dance company. I hate the gay scene in Aukland. Too fucking small.

"Come to ours for dinner tonight."

"I have plans." Jamie sighed.

"Liam told me to ask you. He's having a few guys over. Ollie, Julian, Jon..." Right. The usual intervention crowd. I must have been really obvious this week. "We're having a gangbang." He said.

"What?" Jamie laughed.

"Knew that would get your attention. No excuses, you're either going home to jerk off and cry or going home to jerk off and text Matt and either way our company is a better offer." Fucking Liam. He had an extra sense for that kind of thing. I guess that was my night planned.

--

We were on maybe the third or fourth bottle of Retsina. Someone had put on Boney-M because why not lean into cliches? Jamie hung back a little from our crowd as we danced along to Rasputin... he always did find us a little much en masse. Liam pulled him in- he might not have enjoyed it but he was such a sucker for Liam. I would have been too. I wonder what it's like to date someone who actually likes you? Matt never even pretended to like me after the first few months.

Ah. There I was spiralling again. My natural state. I opened my phone only to find Jamie was gently prying it out of my hands, looking exasperated.

Anyway, dinner was ready.

As usual it was a fucking stunner of a meal. We talked about the upcoming shows Liam and Ollie and I had, and Ollie moaned about having to lose 5kg while shoving his face full of potatoes. Eventually the topic of men came up and I shut my mouth. Without my phone to entertain me I glanced at the newspaper- honestly Liam must be the only person in the whole city under 35 who still gets the paper. I was reading the personals absentmindedly when I saw something interesting.

Auditions- DomM4MSub NSA ongoing fun if this works out adampjames@gmail.com

Adam P James huh? That was Matt's flatmate. I mean, it probably wasn't but it intrigued me regardless. I grinned to myself. Jamie caught my eye and glanced down at the paper. He definitely saw the same thing that caught my eye and he smirked. He didn't say a word though. He's a good kid, Jamie.

--

So. Instead of texting Matt I emailed Adam.

Sir,

With all due respect, what exactly were you expecting to find from print media? Do you know about Squirt? Is it that you're looking for a mature sub?

I'm 29 so unfortunately I probably count. I'm not looking for a NSA Dom but I must have seen your ad for a reason. Let me know what I need to prepare for your auditions.

Yours,

(someday, maybe)

Wil.

Unlike him I didn't use a personal email address but a throwaway for fetlife. I wasn't expecting a response- the dude was probably a grandpa- and probably not in a hot way, and besides that I didn't exactly beg for it. But, a little over a day later I saw I had a response.

Boy,

You get the more interesting people through print media. I hope 29 doesn't count as mature or I have to change my Grindr profile.

I have a few questions I want you to think about.

Why the hell did you respond?

What are you looking for?

Have you explored your limits with another Dom? Are you aware of your limits?

How would you punish someone for an email like yours that showed absolutely no sign of respect?

What's your safeword?

Send me your phone number. You can continue to address me as sir for now, although if this progresses it will be Master.

Adam.

I grinned. Weird. I couldn't reply, I was busy at rehearsal, but I knew I would. It was, at the very least, an interesting distraction.

--

I sent him my number that night and told him I was thinking over his questions. I waited for him to text but he didn't until almost a day later- and thank god he did, I was getting stupid again because Matt sent me a message I was trying not to read over Facebook.

I hate to be cliche, but this won't work unless you're hot

He texted and I laughed. I sent a picture immediately of my body. It wasn't the first anonymous man I've sent pictures to. Normally I'd even put my face in- only just in case it was Matt's Adam I left it at just my body.

Had to reverse image search that. Holy shit dude, awesome body.

Well. That was nice of him to notice.

Sir, I might be a sub but I also have standards.

Super cheeky but it's not like I was invested in this anyway. He sent back a picture so fast he must have been taking it before I asked. Oh shit. That was totally Adam. He left his face out as well, but I recognised the bathroom wallpaper. Huh. Interesting. I felt a little guilty but - I mean- fuck the dude was hot. Adam was shorter than me but pretty well built- broad and muscular. His dick was average sized, maybe a little bigger than I was used to- all I cared was that it was hard as hell.

I'm honoured, sir.

The wanker didn't reply. He left me hanging for another couple of days.

So I contemplated my answers.

Why the hell did you respond?

Because I think the kind of guy who places an ad in a newspaper rather than Grindr or fetlife must be slightly crazy, and that is intriguing. To be honest, now I've seen how hot you are I'm even more intrigued.

What am I looking for?

Sir, I hope you won't think too badly of me for saying a distraction from my ex.

Have you explored your limits with another Dom?

Only in scenes. I have never been owned and truthfully I'm not sure that's something I want.

Are you aware of your limits?

I used to play with a man who would push them a little. I'm not sure I have any firm ones yet, although I suspect you'll make me regret saying that.

How would you punish someone for an email like yours that showed absolutely no sign of respect?

Well, truthfully I can't tell you. I would never place such an ad myself, and if by some miracle I did I could never punish someone who replied. I'm too greedy. I'd just fuck them.

But I will tell you how I would like to be punished.

I want to kneel in a corner naked for you. I want you to read my own words back to me and force me to admit how disrespectful I was. I want you to make me write it again, correctly addressing you. I want you to deny me your touch.

But I know you, and you know me. And we both know you can't deny me forever because I'm just too delectable- looking as ashamed as I do, with my cock leaking all over the floor and my hands tied behind my back. You'll sigh and tell me I'm lucky I'm hot. Remind me I'm an idiot and that I'll have to work on that to please you- after all I'm almost 30, I can't fool people into forgiving me by looking pretty forever.

You still have to punish me. You'll clamp my nipples and tug on them roughly. You like the way I moan in pain. You'll cane my chest, and then you'll cane my ass- you chose how many strokes. It doesn't matter. I'll be a whimpering mess as you finish and run your hands over my abused ass. You like how red it looks. You can't stop yourself from slapping me even though you know it will hurt.

Then, I expect I will beg you to let me cum... I think we both know how I would like that to play out but my cock is yours and I do not presume to know how you will treat it.

I use a traffic light system.

—-

Right. Meet at Flos at 11am. Bring your answers to those questions. Don't stress out, I want to meet you. You don't need to bring anything, or be anything, just yourself.

Yes, sir.

Show me who I'm looking for.

Hmmm. The game was totally up if he saw my face.

Tell me what to wear and work it out, sir

I hope he found that cute, not annoying. He must have because he replied.

Well. I don't know your wardrobe, but a man always looks good in a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

You're right sir. Um... I don't actually own jeans.

I hesitated after I sent that.

I can buy some.

You don't own jeans? Who the hell doesn't own jeans? No, don't buy anything. What do you own?

I usually wear leggings or shorts sir.

Shorts then. Cute ones that show off your ass. And sneakers.

Yes, sir.

Don't be late.

No, sir.

I'll be in an army green shirt and black jeans.

Yes sir, thank you sir.

This was stupid, but also fun. I switched my work shift to make it for 11am and made sure to be early- I wanted to see him walk in. Adam caught my eye and recognised me as Matt's ex, obviously. He drifted over to say hi.

"You good?" I smiled at him.

"Been better honestly. You?" He shrugged.

"Good. I'm meeting someone..." He glanced at his watch and around the restaurant. I nodded and stood up to put the newspaper I'd been browsing back... but really to show him how good my legs looked in the shorts I'd picked out. I looked at him with a small smile.

"I know." I said as I clasped his hand. "You're late, sir." I muttered, leaning in. Adam smiled incredulously as we sat down and shook his head.

"You knew it was me?"

"You used your full name, idiot." Adam shrugged.

"I didn't think anyone would read it."

"Did you get a lot of responses?"

"More than I expected."

"Huh. So who's my toughest competition?" Adam laughed.

"Oh you're so out of the running." I pouted at him.

"What do you mean? Tell me I'm not the hottest guy who emailed you." Adam shrugged.

"You're not the hottest guy who emailed me." My brain couldn't comprehend that. I know, I sound vain. I work really fucking hard on my body though. Adam obviously liked my distress because he let me wallow for a second. "Besides Wilson, I really am looking for no strings attached and you... you're like a ball of string." I folded my arms.

"No I'm not!" Adam laughed.

"Well first of all I help fund creative arts including New Zealand Dance so we already have a conflict of interest. And then you're Matt's ex which wouldn't be so bad if you two had stopped fucking, and then insurmountably I actually like you as a person and I'm looking for someone I can piss in and not feel bad about it." I shook my head as I thought about that.

"Matt and I aren't fucking." I said eventually. "It's been two months." Adam frowned.

"Then who..." He cut himself off, realising how inappropriate that was. I saw him blushing. So. Matt had moved on, what else was new? He'd moved on before he showed me the courtesy of dumping me.

"I don't know why you would feel bad about pissing in me. The whole point of these relationships is that we're both into it." Adam shook his head. I handed him my responses to his questions with a sigh. "Think about it, sir." I said as I stood up. "At least take me to the next round." Adam glanced at the paper and at me. He shook his head, but he held onto my answers. That was a good sign. He was also absolutely checking me out as I leaned on the counter, paying for my coffee. Interesting.

—-

I was still only playing around, maybe. Like a game of chicken. If he didn't put me through to the next round I would know I won. If he did put me through... well. I was having a lot of fun with this.

I was getting a lot of praise in rehearsals- I guess being horny for someone new gave me a bit of clarity. Maybe too much.

"Give me your phone." Ollie said on break.

"What? No?" Because one of the last people I'd texted was in my phone as Sir and none of us wanted to have that conversation.

"I don't get it Wilson. Has he got a magic dick? Because he's never been a good guy, and he treats you like shit and like clockwork every month you sleep with him and get all.. Like this for two days and then you get all sad and broken again." Oh. We were back to Matt. I didn't get it either.

"What am I like today?"

"Happy. Focussed. Engaging in conversation normally."

"Wait, and that usually means I fucked Matt?" Ollie shrugged. Oh man. I am. The worst. "I pinky swear I didn't Ollie. I mean- you guys caught me just in time last week, don't get me wrong..." Ollie frowned.

"Weird. You seem happy." I rolled my eyes.

"Problem?" He shook his head and grinned as we returned to work.

—-

Meet at Tanukis, 7pm. Wear something that makes everyone in the bar jealous of me. You will defer to me all night. I will order for you. You will be charming. If tonight goes well you will have instructions waiting for you on your return home.

I grinned. I wasn't expecting to hear from him ever again. I was expecting to see him from time to time after shows or at dinners, and his ears just to turn a little pink watching me. I looked at my wardrobe. I don't own anything that would make anyone jealous, I'm really about comfort not style. But the Auckland scene is small and I do know some friends in fashion. I texted Beth. Like me her career was in a creative field so she only worked at the cafe to make ends meet- she was a stylist for photoshoots and always did have a good eye.

Hypothetically, if I was trying to dress up, with my wardrobe, what would I wear?

Do I need to come over and bar the door?

What?

Are you seeing Matt again?

No! Fucking hell I can't breathe without someone asking me if I'm seeing Matt.

She FaceTimed me.

"Promise?"

"Yes!"

"Show me your wardrobe." We went through it over FaceTime. I could sense it was a lost cause. "Have you got time to buy..."

"No, I don't think he wants..." I trailed off. I hadn't meant to say anything about it. I'd been pretending to keep it hypothetical. Beth gave me a look but was kind enough to leave it there.

"What sort of look are we going for? You want him to take you right then and there? Or you want him to admire the classy man he's out to dinner with? Is it casual?"

"First one."

"Then go to the gym, get a pump on, and show up in training gear." I laughed.

"Ok but I also want him to think I'm taking this seriously." Beth rolled her eyes. Yeah. I know. This is why I don't like the date part of dating.

"What's that?" She spotted something. It was a soft pink silk shirt. I never wore it. I'd bought it when Matt dumped me when I thought I was going to be a whole new person. I put it on and Beth nodded approvingly.

"There you go. Although I suppose it'll be a bit compromised by your running shorts." But actually when I'd bought the shirt the cute sales rep had talked me into a pair of trousers too. Soft woollen blend in a dusty grey that cupped my ass beautifully. They were a tiny bit too small around my calves and he'd offered to take them out, but I never took him up on that.

"Ok, how's this?" Beth shrugged, but she was smiling.

"I mean, we're not getting any better are we?"

I put some earrings in, just some pounamu I'd been gifted some years ago. Probably Adam didn't like overly feminine guys but that's ok, there was nothing feminine about me even with a pink shirt and earrings. I workout too much. I looked divine. I looked expensive. I undercut myself a little because I had to wear my boots... It was that or my old sneakers. Alison caught me on my way out the flat. She opened her mouth.

"I'm not seeing Matt." I said. "Swear to god."

"Ok." She looked me over. "Have a nice time."

I bought him flowers, because I knew he liked fresh flowers, there were always some on his kitchen counter. I walked most of the way but I got sidetracked by some roadworks and I realised I was cutting it really fine. I glanced at my phone as I entered. Ok. 6.55 not late. I looked over and saw him already at the table and my heart sank a little. He was playing on his phone, bored. He was wearing a dark grey suit- he could have come straight from the office or dressed up, I'd never know the difference between a fancy suit and a work suit. I walked over to him and knelt beside him, presenting him with the flowers. I dropped my head a little as he looked at me in surprise.

"I'm sorry I'm late sir." I mumbled. This looked like a sweet moment and I didn't want anyone to overhear. Involving other people in your sex life is deeply uncool. He checked his watch .

"You aren't late, pet. I'm early." He took the flowers gently. "You... I didn't ask for..."

"I thought you might like them, sir." I stole a glance up at him. He was looking at the flowers with a small frown.

"Sit." He directed. I hesitated.

"On the..."

"Seat opposite me, or are you as thick as you are pretty Wilson?" I blushed at that. Been a while since anyone called me pretty. I thought I was getting on a bit for that. I sat down, discarding my jacket and looked at Adam properly. I think he had come straight from work... he was usually clean shaven but he had a bit of stubble. He looked tired. His short hair was a little messed up, as thought he'd been running his fingers through it. I felt a tiny bit embarrassed at how long I'd taken to get ready- getting my hair nice, showering and shaving and all of that. I didn't pick up the menu. I wondered what he meant by charming. That I didn't sound like me at all. How would your friends describe you? Mine would say moody, proud, angsty. Yeah I know. I'm an overgrown teenager.

"So I heard funding was cut to the AAP, did you want to talk about it or was there enough of that at work?" Adam worked for several non profits that promoted emerging talent in Auckland and Aotearoa at large. He looked at me.

"You don't want to get me started on that."

"Yes I do." I smiled and almost reached across the table... but I stopped myself and blushed. Defer to me. Not a strong point of mine. I don't know if Matt noticed, but he started to rant about his day, pausing briefly as a waiter appeared to order for us.

I tuned out a little, brought back only when I realised he was checking on me.

"Syrah for you, right?" He looked so proud at remembering, I didn't have the heart to tell him that was Matt. I didn't mind Syrah though- actually, I was relieved he was letting me have alcohol. I was worried he'd make me do the whole night sober.

"Thank you." I said quietly, the sir unspoken in front of anyone else. The waiter drifted away and I prompted Adam. "The proposal for Green..." Adam took up his ranting again with relish and I listened to him with fascination. He was extraordinarily passionate. I'd never seen a corporate guy so excitable. He didn't let up until the food arrived. I looked at the plates in front of us- I didn't know what half of it was because I wasn't paying attention when he ordered. Adam must have known that because he smirked and slowly took me through them before helping himself. I didn't touch anything, I watched him and sipped on my wine. I could see he was enjoying that. See? I could behave.