Adam and I looked at each other. His face crumpled.
"Oh Wil..." He said softly. I shook my head.
"Save it." I mumbled. This was entirely my own fault. "Let's just get through dinner."
"Wait! You have to know, Wil... I'm falling for you." He said quietly. I could hear a hollow laugh come from my mouth, even as my stomach fluttered a little.
"Tell your fucking girlfriend that."
Jamie looked a little flushed as he pressed a drink into my hand. He avoided my eyes. Oops. He totally knew something was up. Luckily Liam got back before the tension between the three of us got too appalling. Liam put me to work on arranging a cheese board and he and Adam discussed work for Creative NZ. I guess they knew each other pretty well after all.
I got lost in drinking and chatting to our friends, trying to be normal when my heart was collapsing under its own weight. I was so stupid. So fucking stupid. Even fucking Matt was less stupid than allowing myself to fall for Adam. And I had fallen for him. Hook line and fucking sinker.
I checked out Nancy. What did she have that I didn't? Well. Tits. And he probably made love to her instead of spanking her and giving her hickeys. The worst part was she seemed really nice. And there I was, the dumb sidepiece who knew her boyfriend was cheating on her.
Jamie stopped me from totalling myself. He exchanged my wine for water with a firm look.
"That's not going to help." He muttered. I blushed. Embarrassing that Liam's baby boyfriend had to watch me, but I was glad he did.
--
My date was the last to arrive, apparently the concept of time didn't apply to him. I had a tad too much to drink, and I totally overindulged on the appetisers which I knew I'd regret tomorrow morning when I had to look at myself in the studio. He let himself in sheepishly and gave Jamie and Liam a hug.
"Sorry I'm late."
"Whats new?" Liam introduced him slowly, leaving me for last. I watched him make his rounds.
He was stumbling and awkward, verging on too tall, kinda gangly. He had short hair and freckles and a real skater vibe about him. Not my type- but my type was apparently cheating arsehole so maybe I could change my mind. I saw him looking me over. I couldn't quite read his expression.
"Wilson, Fred. Fred, Wilson." I held out my hand and Liam suddenly disappeared to fetch more wine. I sighed.
"So I've been moaning about my ex for months, what did you do to get dragged over under false pretenses?" Fred laughed, and his face turned a little pink.
"Ah. Well to be honest... I saw a picture of you. Liam thought this was more organic than stalking you on Instagram."
"Oh." I felt warm- although that may have been the wine. "Well. That's a shame."
"Huh?"
"You know those people who aren't very photogenic? But they're absolutely wonderful?" He rolled his eyes.
"You photograph well, trust me." I smiled.
"Yeah I know. Shame about my personality." Fred laughed nervously and sat down next to me.
"Well, at least give me a chance to figure that out." He said, blushing. I don't think flirting came as naturally to him as it did to me.
"Sure. What do you do? Liam kinda skipped that part." Actually Liam skipped everything but we had to start somewhere.
"Ahh... I'm in construction."
"Way to go against stereotypes. Must be hard being gay on site?"
"Well. It probably would be." Fred stammered.
"Oh, not out?" He shrugged, looking at the ground.
"Not exactly."
"That's ok, it's hard." I thought about that. "Well, not when you're a dancer with liberal parents who drinks wet Martinis but I mean. I can imagine." Fred shrugged.
"More into beer."
"No way." He laughed at my sarcasm.
--
Liam was pretending not to watch us. So was Adam. I narrowed my eyes and leant in closer to Fred. Ok, it was super lame of me, trying to make him jealous... but it felt pretty satisfying to watch his smile fade as he looked on. I looked back to Fred, who was sipping on his beer.
"So construction. Carpentry? Commercial?"
"Residential. Cabinetry."
"Nice. Maybe you know what to do about my wonky lintel."
"Wonky? Is it load bearing? Dude that shit's not ok."
"Wouldn't worry too much, I'm throwing words around without knowing what they mean." Fred paused and his face relaxed into a smile. "So what is a lintel?" I asked him. Ok, not my best line. He obviously thought so as well because he looked at me like I was the world's biggest moron.
"That." He gestured carefully to the doorway. Oh. Huh.
"I swear I went to Uni." I said. "They just didn't cover that in Fine Arts." Fred grinned.
"I didn't go to Uni but I know what an arabesque is." I rolled my eyes. "Fine Arts? Thought you were a dancer?"
"This is going to shock you but it turns out painting is a really hard career to pursue. I have a few backups. You should see my Latte art." Fred snorted.
"See where you've gone wrong is you aimed high. If you aim low like I did you can exceed your wildest expectations."
"Well that explains why you're on a blind date with me." Fred choked on his beer.
"Spare me." He said. "Jamie and Liam are throwing an entire dinner party to give me a chance to talk to you." I looked at him as I paused to take another sip of wine. Huh. This... this whole party... this really wasn't about me was it? I blushed as I realised for the first time in a while the whole fucking world doesnt revolve around me. Here I was, flirting with this guy to make some total jerk jealous and he really just wanted to get to know me. Fred frowned as I stared at him. "Um... did I say something wrong?" I shook my head.
"No!" I protested. I folded my legs up under myself and leant on the couch, looking at him. He was really pretty, actually. "I've had a long week and Liam kind of ambushed me." I admitted. "I sort of wish you had just liked a bunch of my pictures on instagram. I feel like I'm a bit boring in real life." Fred smiled and relaxed a little as he watched me.
"Boring? Wet martinis? An art degree? That hideous shirt?" I laughed.
"Ok, in my defense the shirt isn't mine!" Fred wrinkled his nose- oh, that was cute- and I quickly tried to explain myself. "Wait, wait... It's Jamie's! Liam decided I needed to look fancier or whatever..." Fred grinned and leant conspiratorially towards me.
"Liam told me to dress up as well, and I did, and he still told me off for wearing this." I glanced at Fred. Now that I looked his shirt was wrinkled and clearly hadn't been worn in months.
"What do you usually wear?" I asked, trying to imagine. He bit his lip and shrugged.
"Band t-shirts." Huh. Wouldn't have called it.
"What do you listen to?" Freds lip twisted.
"Uh... not sure you'd be into them. Death. Morbid Angel. Cannibal Corpse..."
"Sure. Anvil, Atheist, Cynic..." I grinned at Fred's face. "I dabble. In between Boney M and Madonna." He grinned.
"Anything else you're hiding?"
"No. I mean, I'm not hiding anything. I'm an open book."
"You're a fucking bestselling thriller."
"I'm not sure about bestselling." I glanced up as Liam squeezed my shoulder, and suddenly the rest of the world came into focus again. I'd been so absorbed in Fred I'd kind of forgotten what we were doing here.