I used to volunteer at my old high school helping the kids on the science quiz team. Once I hit college I filled out a bit and gained a more active social life, but I still liked to go back and help out. It was time to start a new season and so there were a bunch of new kids. I immediately took interest in the new senior recruit. He was also on the cross country team and I could have melted for a guy like him. 6 feet even, a bit taller than I, and not an ounce of fat on the boy. Oh and he had the most beautiful clear gray eyes. Of course it was all admiration from a distance at that point.
We ended up working together a lot. Which I was perfectly ok with. His name was Keith and we just kind of clicked. He was one of the few guys who never made comments about me being gay. (Though the ones from everyone else were all in good fun), but he always got this little smile on his face when my sexuality was brought up. It was an embarrassed little smile. The kind of nervous smile a person gets when they don't know any other way to react, and as a result I always wondered about his preference when it came to love, then one night I found out. We were the last two people in the department and after a while the subject got off physics and onto our personal lives. He asked me point blank, "When did you know you were gay?"
It was kind of random, but I answered.
"My freshman year of college," I looked at him kind of oddly. "Why do you ask?"
"I've just been thinking about some things." He was looking down at his hands now and was acting kind of sheepish.
"Like what?" I really liked Keith and if he needed someone to talk to I wanted to help.
"I've just been thinking about what it would be like to be with a guy. I guess I'm kind of curious. But I'm not gay, at least I don't think I am. I like girls and all. But I guess I always wondered what it would be like to . . ." He looked up at me and stopped talking.
"Never mind."