The morning after the party started with a pounding headache and a very sore asshole. There was a minute of post wake up confusion where I sat up and wondered how I had hurt my ass. Then the memory of the night before came rushing back. The realization that I had gay sex hit me like a ton of bricks.
I stared blankly at the wall as I went through the events that led up to my anal deflowering. I began a closeted shame spiral while I remembered the slick saltiness of his precum in my mouth. I started to cry silently as I remembered him fucking my ass cheeks. I fell into full panic mode as I remembered he had came in my ass twice without a condom.
I laid on the couch quietly sobbing "I am not gay" to myself over and over. While my mind was falling apart my body had other plans. My almost 6 inch cock was rock hard and I couldn't help myself. I began to rub it over my shorts as I cried. As I played with myself the sobs slowed down. Eventually I was sitting up, and jerking off while still whispering to myself "I am not gay."
I positioned my body so that my knees where spread and my feet pointed outwards. As I jerked off I continued to think back to the previous night and all of the sensations I experienced. Without thinking I bent over, dropping my face into armrest while I lifted my ass as high in the air as I could. The cool air felt nice on my exposed, bruised hole. As I marveled at the fact that my butt wasn't completely destroyed by Matt's cock, I began to cum. Semen leaked out of my cock, my body shuddered and I started pumping my ass backwards like I was riding a cock.
I looked down at the puddle of jizz I left on the cushion. I got my face close, sniffed it, then I stuck out my tongue and licked up a mouthful. I was immediately turned off, my cum was more bitter than Matt's had been and the feeling of it in my mouth was repulsive. Even the smell was gross compared to last night, I wasn't sure if it had been because the musk of his balls had covered it up, but mine smelled like dirty bleach. I spit it out thinking that was proof I wasn't gay, but when I thought of Matt's cum in my mouth it made me feel horny again.
I looked at the couch and realized there were multiple cum stains all over it. I spent the next hour cleaning while I tried to convince myself that I didn't enjoy last night as much as I was remembering. Then I took a shower and washed the remaining dried cum I had missed the night before off of me. My ass was still very sore and I winced from pain when the hot water from the shower ran down my cheeks.
After I finished drying off I got dressed and sat down in front of a bowl of cereal trying to understand how the previous night happened. The more I tried to understand how he got me to have sex with him, the more I became convinced that it was because he took advantage of my drunkenness. A small voice in the back of my mind said "you weren't THAT drunk last night. What did you think was going to happen when he pulled out his cock right in front of your face? You could have said no instead of lapping up the precum from his dick. You could have gotten up when he spread your ass instead of panting like a bitch in heat."
That voice terrified me, and as hard as I tried I couldn't get it to stop. I felt like I was going insane as I stared at a bowl full of mush that had once been cereal. He snooped in my room then used the fact that I was drunk and curious about gay porn against me, I reasoned. He used me for sex. He tricked me into thinking that I liked touching his big thick cock. I started to get hard again.
"I just have to get my mind off of it." I said out loud to myself. I decided I wouldn't think about what happened anymore and if he tried to contact me I would tell him to go fuck himself. I got up to throw out my ruined cereal and my tender ass protested in pain. I wondered why it felt more painful now than when he was inside me, filling my tight ass with his thick, warm cum. "God dammit!" I said out loud again "I said keep your mind off of it."
I popped a couple Advil and after a few hours my aching ass became bearable. I spent most of the day angry, confused, and scared. It was difficult to keep from playing with myself as I continued trying to be upset. I wanted to scream every time I thought about the way Matts abs tightened each time he pushed his dick deeper into my ass.
I forgot to charge my cellphone the night before and didn't think to do it all day. I had been too preoccupied with my panic over how right his cock had felt in my hand. As my phone screen lit up I looked at it nervously waiting for any text notifications to pop up. I had a couple texts from friends, but none from Matt, and even though I told myself that was a good thing I still felt disappointed.
That night I went out to one of my buddies houses to play video games and get high with a handful of my friends. I only had 2 months before I left for college and I wanted to make the best of that time. We took turns passing the controller and the bong while we joked around. My best friend Keith asked if anyone got laid after the party. A couple guys talked about their conquests as I tried to pretend that I was too focused on the game to be paying attention. Then Keith turned to me and asked "What about you Tyler?"
I didn't stop looking at the screen as I said "Na man, couldn't seal the deal. I wound up cleaning up then going to bed."
Keith responded "That sucks bro. I thought if anyone was gonna tap some ass last night it would be the guy throwing the party."
I said quickly "I definitely didn't tap any ass last night." I paused for a moment then continued "It's all good though dude, I was really tired. I'm regretting even cleaning up right after. I should have just gone straight to bed."
Keith took a rip from his bong than said "Yea, my bad about not staying later. My girl was begging for it and I didn't want to disappoint." Everyone aside from myself laughed at that. Then he continued "When I left, that one dude Matt was still there right? Did he at least help you finish up?"
I handed the controller to my friend Frank, grabbed the bong and said "Yea he stayed to help me finish cleaning. He was there longer than I expected."
While I was taking a hit Keith said "Matt is a cool dude. We should have asked him if he wanted to chill tonight." Keith looked at his phone for a minute then looked back at me and asked "Do you have his number? Last night he said he was gonna be in town till the end of next month. He could probably get us beer from his uncle's liquor store."
I acted like I was checking through my phone and said "Na sorry bro, I didn't think to ask him when he left." While I was looking at my screen a text message notification popped up. I couldn't see what the message said but it was from Matt. I closed my phone then said to the group "I'm gonna get out of here fellas, gotta wake up early tomorrow and get the yard done before my family gets home."
As I stood up my friend Steve said "Dude your family doesn't come back until Wednesday. You have all week to do that, don't be a pussy."
