I closed my eyes, the sound of the slap still ringing in my ears. I shut them tight. I wasn't going to cry.
I felt the heat spread from my cheek. As I opened my eyes, all that heat shot from them in a death-glare. Pure menace. I had gotten pretty good at this look with Aiden. But never once had I meant it.
Until now.
I saw a twinge of regret pass across his steel-gray eyes. Those fucking eyes. I hated those eyes. He must have sensed that I saw past his resolve, because he immediately straightened his posture in a look of defiance.
I brought my hand up to my cheek and I had to shut my eyes again. I couldn't look at him. That fucking monster. I wasn't going to cry.
"I hate you." I said. My voice was a low even tone. It felt strong. I left no room in my voice for the doubt I felt as I said it again, "I fucking hate you."
I turned around quickly, not daring to look back at Aiden. I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen counter and started out the door.
"Win, don't..." he started. Was he begging? I didn't care. 'I don't care about him,' I thought to myself, 'I don't care about those steel-gray eyes that I swear can read my thoughts. I don't care that only Aiden can fuck me until all I can think is his name. I don't care that megalomaniacal Aiden is begging me... I hate him now. Yes, I hate him. I hate his snotty grin and his perfect teeth.' It was fact. I had myself convinced. Right?
I slammed the door.
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I met Aiden when we were in college.
I was standing on a street corner, waiting for the red hand to turn into the white walking man. I had my headphones on and was staring vaguely across the boulevard. Then I saw him.
I immediately recognized that face. Everyone did. Aiden Hoffman didn't go unrecognized on campus. He was the son of the dean, captain of the swim team, had more money than god, and was notorious for his debauched quarterly parties on daddy Hoffman's yacht. Not to mention he was fucking gorgeous. That straight, jet-black hair that swept over his eyes, his tall and intimidating, yet lean and graceful build, and those eyes...
... Those eyes were watching me.
I looked away. He caught me staring. Oh fuck, casual, act casual.
I stared down, studying the covers of my textbooks, acting as if anything in the world were more interesting than Aiden Hoffman.
It wasn't until I heard the shuffling of feet around me that I realized the lights had changed. I could cross the street now. 'Okay, walk. Walking...umm... Yeah, walking!' I reminded myself of the concept. I looked up, ready to move and I saw him coming toward me. I was incapacitated. I just stood, staring. He looked at me, no, through me and grinned. That wide, perfect-toothed grin. But there was something about his eyes, he almost looked as if he were plotting something. There was something sly and calculating in that stare. That's when I felt his shoulder collide with my chest.
He knocked the wind out of me. My books fell to the sidewalk like a thunderclap as I gasped for air. I slowly regained my composure as I noticed Aiden in front of me. He was on his knees, genuflecting close in front of me, collecting my books from the pavement. As he stood, books in hand, his shoulder brushed up my thigh causing me to shiver. "I'm so sorry! I guess I was just distracted," he spoke, the gentle tone in his firm voice making me want to melt. He was still smirking at me when he handed me my books and I snatched them from him in a quick move. "Watch where you're going next time," I spoke harshly, working out my best scowl.
He threw his hands up in an 'I give up' gesture, eyebrows raised, but that sideways, Mr. Dental Hygiene grin stayed glued in place. "Will do," he said as I turned to cross the street before the lights changed again. As I walked, I glanced back over my shoulder to find him doing the same, still smirking. Damn him.
After that morning, I saw him every day for weeks. I couldn't escape him.
He was outside all of my classes, in the cafeteria, the park, everywhere. His presence was grating on my sanity. Why was he following me? Was he following me? Maybe he was always around, and I hadn't noticed him until now. Even if he was following me, of all the people to stalk, why me?
He was nonchalantly leaning against the wall outside my dorm floor's communal shower when I decided to confront him.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I questioned him bluntly, hair still wet, clutching my towel at my waist.
"Friends," he nodded his head, motioning down the hall.
"Yeah fucking right, it's about 2 in the morning. Why are you following me?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he flashed his teeth, "Maybe you're just seeing patterns where there are none. We tend to do that, you know."
"Cut the shit..." I started. He cut me off.
"In fact, I don't think we've actually introduced ourselves. Aiden Hoffman," he offered, extending his hand, "And you?"
I didn't take his hand, "Win. Win Costello."
"Ah, short for Winston?"
I nodded in return.
"You know, I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot somehow," he spoke, taking a long stride toward me, "I think we could be friends." Maybe he had a mental defect that made him keep smiling like that.
"I'm having a party this weekend," he kept walking closer, "and I'd like for you to come," he was only an arm's length away, "We're taking the yacht out Saturday night," I could feel his body radiating warmth, "and I think you'd have fun," now I could feel his breath on my shoulder, "we could get to know one another." I stumbled backward, my back flat against the wall.
"And what makes you think I would want to come to your party? You're stalking me, remember?"
"Because I think that you like me," he put his hand beside my head on the wall.
"Fuck off," I groaned, looking away from his sharp gray eyes. He was so close to me, breathing in my ear. I was rock hard underneath my towel. I hoped, no, prayed that he wouldn't move forward.
That's when I pushed my hips forward against his thigh.
Aiden chuckled, forcing his thigh between my legs, feeling my terry-cloaked bulge pressing against him. He started moving his leg, creating a delicious friction. Unable to control myself, I began to roll my hips forward and back again, humping his thigh like a high-strung terrier. Breathing heavily, my head lolled back on my shoulders as a moan escaped my lips.
That's when he stopped.
He completely extricated himself from me, taking a large step backward, leaving me completely undone and still writhing against the wall. My eyes snapped open wide with shock, immediately followed by shame.
"I guess that means I'll see you Saturday," he smirked, turning and walking to the stairwell, "9:30. Don't be late." He winked. He was gone.
I just stood there, still about to burst and completely speechless. What had just happened?
After a moment, I grasped the towel still around my waist with both hands, hoping to successfully disguise my obvious erection and scurried down the hall to my room as fast as was humanly possible.
Once inside I threw my towel aside and before it hit the floor, I was on my back in bed, furiously stroking myself to release. My hand became a blur as I came, groaning out his name, "Aiden..." The name almost burned as it crossed my lips.
There was no way I was going to see him Saturday.
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The Hoffman yacht was aglow in the harbor as I pulled my white Jetta into the packed parking lot. I had no business being there. What was I doing? It was almost as if I were on autopilot.