It was the spring of 1995, I was 18 and growing up in suburbia. I was walking down the tree lined street with shaded sidewalks heading to the store to pick up some snacks. The street was long and straight and the tall Oak and Maple trees were just leafing out. It was a sunny but chilly day after rain had fallen the night before and I avoided the worms that had been flooded out of the lawns and were now crawling along the sidewalk.
I was about half a mile from my house, and a little further than that from the store. I usually avoided this street because of one of the kids who lived here. But I was going to a new store that had opened and this was sort of the only way to get there. The kid who I refer to was a typical bully, his name was Marcus or something. His parents were never around and he had an older brother with some kind of loud muscle car and a couple of asshole friends who seemed to always be with him. He was a year younger than me, but a lot bigger. Of course pretty much everyone was bigger than me. I was definitely a late bloomer, still had a baby face and looked much younger than 18.
I stepped off the curb to cross a quiet side street and WHOOSH! A basketball passed inches in front of my face. It scared the heck out of me and I froze. Then I heard the sound of sneakers pounding on the pavement coming towards me. Sure enough, it was bully kid followed by one of his goofy, dirty friends. "Watch out you pansy! You almost hit my ball." he said, in that condescending asshole way that people like him talk. Of course his friend laughed. I fought my instinct to run. I'm an adult, I thought to myself. As soon as I caught my breath after being surprised I tried to keep on walking, hoping to avoid any trouble.
"Where are you going pansy?" he said. I kept walking but he ran up to me and grabbed my arm and stopped me with a jerk.
"Owwwwwe, stop it!" I whined, "Leave me alone!"
He looked shocked and surprised, but within a second, he and his friend began to laugh hysterically. I had squealed and sounded just like the pansy he thought I was. I immediately flushed bright red and turned to get away. He grabbed my arm, harder this time and threw me to the ground. I landed on the soggy, muddy grass strip between the street and the sidewalk and he was immediately on top of me. I was on my back and he was straddling my chest giving me little slaps on my face as the wet ground soaked my clothes.
"What a pussy. He said. "Aren't you older than me?" he taunted. I just looked up at him, hoping this would all be over soon. "You look like a girl." He said pinching both of my cheeks.
I couldn't move, his knees were pinning my arms and he was way too heavy for me. He kept slapping my face, not really hard but still kind of painful.
"My brother told me what they call you in school." SLAP! "Little Dicky." SLAP! "Is that right?" SLAP! "Do you have a little tiny dicky?" SLAP! "Answer me!" SLAP! "Little girly boy has a little girly dicky!" SLAP!
Then I began to cry. I totally lost it. Tears were running down my face and I was blubbering, sniveling, and whining. "Give him a wedgie!" his friend said. And he seemed to like that idea. He rolled me over and pushed my face in the wet grass and reached into the waist band of my pants grabbing my underwear and pulling them all the way up to my shoulders. I yelped and cried, again sounding just like..a girl. Completely soaked, embarrassed and with my underwear burning into my butt crack I laid there and cried.
"Crying like a little girl." He teased. "Little dicky girly boy."
"Hey! What the hell is going on out here?" I heard a man yell loudly.
"You're pathetic, little crying girly boy." He said as he pushed himself to his feet using the back of my head, forcing my face into the soft, wet ground. Then I heard them as they ran away fast. "Catch you later Little Dicky!" he yelled as he ran off.
"Are you ok?" I heard a man's voice ask.
Then I felt hands on my arms start to pull me up. I slowly got up as he helped me. Soaking wet, crying with my underwear stretched out of my pants, he looked me over to see if I was hurt as I tried to stuff my underwear back into place. The embarrassment of it all made me cry even more
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"I..I think so." I said between sobs.
"Let's go get you cleaned up." He said as he gently ushered my up the steps to the house that he had come out of.
He walked me in through the front door, my tears beginning to dry but my whimpering coughs continuing a little bit. He led me up stairs and into a bathroom.
I sat down on the toilet. He stood there for a moment with his hands on his hips, as if he wasn't sure what he could do. I just sat there in my wet clothes, feeling like a complete fool and idiot. Then he got down on one knee and began taking off my shoes.
"You sure you're ok? Should I call your mother?" He asked.
I shook my head and mumbled that she wasn't home and would just get mad at me for not standing up for myself anyway. He turned on the shower and told me to put my wet clothes over by the door so he could wash and dry them then turned and went to leave. Before he left, he turned around and looked at me, I was still crying quietly, more like whimpering really, my head was hung low and my wet hair was plastered to my red cheeks.
"Heeeeey...he said softly. It'll be ok. You look like a sweet boy, it'll all be fine."
Then he closed the door. I took off my wet clothes and put them by the door. I took off my underwear which were ripped and stretched out of shape into something unrecognizable. After I was naked I pushed aside the shower curtain and got into the warm water.
I looked down at myself as the water flowed over me. I hated my body. I was like an 18 year old little boy and worst of all, I did have a little dicky. I knew it was little since summer camp when I was 12. All through high school I had to change in gym class and I had seen other boys naked. They all had penises that were much bigger than mine and they all had hair on theirs. Mine was tiny. It didn't hang down. It stuck out over my sack like a vienna sausage and right now, being cold and humiliated, it was half that size.
As I stood under the hot water feeling sorry for myself, I continued to look at my body. My body hair, what little of it there was, was blonde and nearly invisible. I wasn't skinny or fat. I definitely wasn't muscular. I was kind of doughy. My skin had a thickness to it, there was no definition just shape. I wasn't even pudgy, just kind of, well... soft. I was fleshy all over, not at all like other boys my age or even younger. My eyes looked down at my little dick, the water from the shower making it look like I was peeing, and I began to cry again.
"Are you ok in there?" I heard as the door opened a crack. "Can I come in?"
I snapped out of my self-loathing haze and turned off the shower as I sniffled up my tears and heard his footsteps on the tile floor. "I've got a clean towel for you, nice and warm just out of the dryer." He said and opened the shower curtain. I jumped, frightened. I didn't expect him to do that and I immediately put my hands over myself to cover my crotch.
"Here you go." He said casually and pushed the towel towards me. I saw his eyes go up and down over my body as I reached for the towel. I pulled it back to me quickly and tucked it up under my chin. Partially covering myself and stood there in the chill of the air. His eyes lingered on me for just a moment and he smiled at me for a couple of seconds, then turned around and did something at the sink. I turned and faced the wall to hide my nakedness and then put the towel over my shoulders like a cape and snuggled it back under my chin, closing it tightly in the front. When I turned around I noticed he was looking at me in the mirror. Our eyes met for a split second before his flicked away and he continued to move things around on the counter before turning around to face me.
