Michael

Authors note: Thank you all for the comments and support, I truly appreciate hearing from you. Each chapter is an act of love, and I thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy reading Alex's Adventures as much as I enjoy writing them!

CHAPTER 5. Michael

"JACK!" I yelled again across the student services building lobby. I saw him stop in his tracks at the sound of his name and hesitate. He slowly turned on the spot, hesitation in his every movement. His head was down and slowly looked up across the tiled floor, and then I saw his eyes register who he was looking at.

He stood there, staring at me. I couldn't read his face. Was it fear? Excitement? Disbelief? Anger? Each of these seemed to flash across his eyes, as if he wasn't sure what to feel either, his mind was trying hard to decipher his own emotions.

Then he was moving, quickly, forcefully toward me. Each step was strong, purposeful, vigorous. He moved with intention, his face still settling on an emotion, but one thing was certain, he was determined to get to me as fast as possible.

And he hit me with his body, crashing into me, wrapping his large arms around me and pulling me into a tight, strong embrace. His head crashed into my shoulder as he hugged me, I felt his breaths come in short, tight pulls. He whispered into my ear, "Alex..."

"JACK!" I almost yelled as I wrapped my arms around him, still hit by the shock of being in his arms. He held me, I held him, and we stood there in the middle of the Student Services lobby, holding each other, just feeling comfort in each other's embrace.

Finally, after letting heart beats turn from moments to minutes, we slowly pulled apart, as if hesitating to let each other go. I looked into his eyes, which were wet from emotion, he wasn't crying, but I could see a sense of relief pouring out of him. I smiled up at him, just feeling glad to be in his presence, glad to be looking at him.

"Alex, it's so fucking good to see you."

"What the fuck is going on, Jack?" I said, with a sense of worry in my voice, making sure I wasn't accusatory, even though I was livid he had been ignoring me for the past 4 days.

"It's complicated," he nodded down to the packet of housing listings still in his hand. I bit my tongue, I was getting angry, this man was again pushing me away after pulling me close. He could see the anger in my eyes, or at least sense that his answer was not enough because he sighed and continued, "After what happened on Saturday, my Fraternity kind of exploded."

"I heard -"

"Everything happened so fast," He cut me off, now that he started talking it seemed like he couldn't stop. "Rumors started flying, and Brothers weren't happy about having a gay guy in the house. Shit got real, real fast. Rich, the president, drove back from LA early, exec board was called. We were put on a communications lock down. I was told not to talk to anyone, not even you," his eyes seemed to be asking for forgiveness, "Some Brothers want me out of the Fraternity, some just want me out of the house, and others are super supportive. The whole 'coming-out thing' has created a big divide in the chapter. National got called, and they're sending a representative in for meetings on Thursday. Brothers are asking for Rich to resign, but he's standing by me. He's been a huge support."

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry Jack. I had no idea it would cause all of this."

He paused, looked me, and finally cracked a smile, "We probably could have handled it a little better. Making out naked in the Fraternity House probably wasn't the best way to come out," he chuckled. I smiled too, glad to see him letting loose, "But, it needed to happen sooner or later. I wish I had more control over it, but at least it's finally out there. No longer a complete closet case."

"Fuck, I didn't mean to out you like that, I just didn't know what to do."

"It's not your fault." he said sternly looking at me, "I took the risk having you over. I wanted you, I needed you," his smile flashed devious, as if remembering fucking my tight hole, "I was happy you came." He let the innuendo settle in the air.

"So, what's going to happen? What can I do to help?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I was here today looking for a backup plan. Worst case, I'm suspended from the Fraternity, and need to find new housing. Best case? I don't know, nothing happens, and everything goes back to normal, well new-normal I guess."

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked again, wanting to support Jack in any way possible.

"Not right now, actually the best you can do is nothing. We just have to see how this plays out."

Nothing? There wasn't anything I could do? Was he trying once again to push me away, "And this 'new-normal', what does that mean?"

"I..." he was choosing his words carefully, he knew what I was looking for, was he really going to be out? Proud? Could he be seen with me in public? "I... don't know, Alex. It's going to be complicated for a while. The Fraternity is really fucked up right now."

For a moment I was back in the Biltmore Hotel, Jeremy rushing to the windows to close the curtains. Casting me into shadow. Secrets hidden in the dark. Back doors, multiple locks, long shadows dragging on the ground. Hidden from the bright Arizona sun.

Then I remembered my coming out, my mom's tears as I told her in the parking lot after a high school swim meet. The time it took for her to come around, to accept me for who I was. And I knew it would take time for Jack as well. Coming out doesn't just happen once, it happens every fucking day. And Jack would have to get used to that, his "brothers" would have to get used to that. And his family...

"Jack, I am here for you. If there is anything we can do, Adam and Thomas and I are here -"

Jack turned to stone, "Adam? Thomas? You told them? Who else - KIM?" Panic danced across his eyes as he took a step back from me.

I knew I had to be honest, I could help, we could help, "And.... Mandy."

"You. Told. My. EX!?"

"Jack, listen, we just want to help. I couldn't reach you, you didn't respond to anything, I thought maybe they could get some info -"

"Gabby. They told Gabby, didn't they?"

"No. I don't know. I don't think so."

"Shit. Shit. Shit." He was panicking now. "So everyone knows. Everyone FUCKING knows! You outed me to all of Greek life!"

"Jack, it's going to be okay. We're all on your side, we want to help!" I heard the door from the pool area open up behind me.

"I'm handling it. All you had to do was shut up. Be quiet. And you couldn't do that."

"Hey Alex! You ready for our date?"

Jack stopped cold. He looked up, past me. I turned and saw Marco walking toward me, his effortless swagger, his dimpled smile, his model-like features, carved from years of training. I turned back to Jack, his face tight with anger.

"You know what Alex," he said quietly to me, "Fuck you." And he turned, trembling, eyes piercing with fear, anger, and rage. He walked out of the building and into the blinding afternoon sun.

"Who was that?" Marco slid up to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"No one." I felt myself trembling. What the hell just happened. What was happening. How did everything get fucked up so fast.

"He looked pretty angry," and Marco turned down and looked at me, "Babe, are you okay? You're shaking."

Babe? The world started spinning. I pushed away from Marco, needing to be alone. This was too much, too fast.

"I'm not feeling well, I think I'm just going to go home."

"Alex, babe, muchacho, whats going on? Who was that? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing, no one, nothing. I just need to get home." I moved forward, my feet pulling me away. I didn't know where I needed to go, but I needed to get away, be alone.

"Alex! Wait, what the fuck is going on?" Marco started to move after me, I turned and looked at him.

"Leave me alone. I need some space right now."

Marco looked at me, confused, worried, but he stopped. "Alex, talk to me, I'm here -"

"I know. But I gotta go. I can't right now. I'll text you soon."

"Alex, wait -"

I turned away from Marco, the captain of the swim team, the man of my teenage dreams. I couldn't deal with him right now, knowing how much I just hurt Jack, the disaster I caused. I needed to fix this, I needed to make this right. I pushed forward, further from Marco, away from the fantasy, and out into the oppressive heat of the real world.

------

"And he's been in there how long?"

"Since last night. He came back from swimming, and slammed the door and locked himself in there. He hasn't come out since."

"No food? No water? No bathroom?"

"Not that I know of."

"Alex, what's going on? Let us in!"

"Watch out, I got this."

"Girl, really?"

"I had to learn to get out of handcuffs, it keeps things interesting when you can escape."

I unlocked the door and swung it open. Thomas and Kim stared at me, I looked down and saw Adam on his knees, a bobby pin in his hand. I dead-eyed all three of them, turned around and crawled back into bed.

"What the fuck is going on, Alex?" Thomas asked, stepping into the dark room. I had drawn the curtains as tight as possible, blocking out as much of the daylight as possible. I didn't want to think about the outside world.

"I saw Jack." I mumbled as I pulled a sheet over my head and rolled over.

"Oh shit," Adam whispered.

I felt a weight pressing down on the bed and a large hand reached up and stroked my hair. "Tell us what happened," Thomas said gently.

"I fucking ruined his life. His frat is imploding."

"That isn't your fault," I felt more weight on the bed and Adam and Kim sat down around me.

"I outed him to the entire campus."

"No you didn't -"

"I took that away from him. Coming out should be on his terms, not mine."

"That fucker Tyler took that from him, not you."

"But I only fed the flames. I didn't stop it, I helped it spread."

"How?"

"I told you all. I didn't hide it. I didn't keep my mouth shut -"

"Everyone already knew, you helped stop the rumors, the speculation -"

"I should have just stayed quiet. Now he's pissed at me, he's going to be kicked out of his frat, he has nowhere to live, and it's because I couldn't say no, I had to get fucked right away -"

"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP." Adam's voice cut me off, he was not trying to comfort me the way Thomas and Kim were. "We've been over this, Jack wanted to come out, that's why he fucking fucked you in his frat house."

"But not like that, no one should come out like that."

Thomas cut in before Adam could shout, "You're right, no one should be outed by homophobic bigots. This is not your fault. You know that. Tyler was spreading rumors, it's a good thing you said something, otherwise this could be way worse."

I rolled over, I couldn't look at my friends. They were trying to be supportive, telling me what I wanted to hear, but I knew. I blew this whole thing up, and I only made things worse. I outed Jack, now all of Greek life knew Tyler wasn't making it up, knew that he walked in on Jack and me making out.

I raised my eyes and looked at Kim, "Did you tell Gabby?"

"Alex, Tyler was saying you were underage. When Gabby repeated that, I had to tell her the truth. I couldn't let that rumor spread!" she said urgently, but with kindness still in her voice.

I crashed my head back down into the pillow and closed my eyes. I tried to pull the blanket back up, but with three people sitting on the bed, I just struggled at the hem.

"Just leave me alone, I need to wallow for a bit, while I try to figure out what to do next." The three of them sat there for a moment, not moving, I was losing my patience, "Please. LEAVE."

Finally, I felt the pressure leave the bed and the three of them got up. Thomas spoke as he moved to the door, "I guess we can handle the walk-around without you today. But don't lay in bed all day, we need you tomorrow to help set up the Coalition Welcome Mixer."

WHOOSH.

The blankets were pulled off of the bed, I was hit with a sudden blast of cool air. "What the F-" Large arms reached down and under my body, I was quickly lifted up off of the bed. I struggled, but my lethargic state didn't prepare for this as Adam pulled me up to his body and out of the bed.

"No fucking way. You do NOT need to wallow. You need to get up and get going. There's no need for this pity party!"

"Adam, put me down!" I was being carried across the room, out the door, down the hall, and into the bright living room. "This isn't funny!"

Finally Adam put me down, I was standing almost naked in the middle of the living room, sun pouring in from the large sliding door that led out to the back patio. Thomas and Kim came down the hall.

"Now you listen to me, Alex," Adam said, staring me straight in the eyes, "I'm going to say this one more time. This isn't your fault. Jack is gay, and was outed by his homophobic bigoted frat brother. If it wasn't with you, it was going to be someone else. You've been keeping his secret for over a year, you didn't even tell Kim! You cannot blame yourself for how this shook out. You have TRIED to be there for him, you have TRIED to make it right, and if he is too brainwashed by his frat cult to see it, then that's on him. But you need to stop blaming yourself for this."

Thomas and Kim were now standing behind Adam. Thomas spoke first, soothing like a caretaker as always, "Adam is right. This is a fucked up situation, but it's not your fault. This is exactly why we have a Coalition. To fight these homophobes, and to be there for people, like Jack, who are struggling with coming out. While I'm all for self-care, and wallowing, I think coming tonight would be good. Think of all the freshmen coming in who are looking for out-and-proud queer people representing. Now is not the time to hide."

I stood there looking at my three best friends, supportive, caring, loving in their own ways. I felt lucky, where would I be without these assholes? "Fuck all of you," I said, "but fine. You're right. I'll fucking go."

Suddenly they were hugging me. A warmth filled me that wasn't just the heat of the desert.

Thomas pulled back, and reached for his bag that was on the couch. He pulled out a t-shirt with the LGBTQ+ Coalition logo printed on the front. "I got one for each of us," He tossed them to Adam and me. I held it up, the baggy shirt was way oversized.

"Kim, work your magic on these. I'm going to take a shower, I better have a cute crop-top when I'm out." Adam and I tossed our shirts to Kim, she smiled, Thomas rolled his eyes, and I walked back to my darkened room, feeling lighter than I had in days.

------------

The Memorial Union was packed. Passport was an annual event at the start of every school year where EVERY student organization on campus set up a table and the entire university was invited to walk around. Targeted toward incoming students, the freshmen took this opportunity to collect as much swag as possible - koozies, bottle openers, fidget spinners, tote bags were all given out like candy. We were set up in one of the large ballrooms upstairs, along with the other LGBTQ+ organizations, the multi-cultural groups, and student government.

"They look so small," Adam said to me as we finished putting flyers out on the table. A group of freshmen just walked in the large room, they looked like deer in headlights.

"I can't believe that was us just a couple years ago."

"And now we run this bitch!" Adam said, giving me a high five. Kim had worked her magic on our shirts, years of sorority life paid off. Adam kept his simple, with just a short cut off at the hem and the sleeves removed. His classic style, but it looked great: a sliver of his waist showed every time he moved, and his arms looked huge coming out of the oversized sleeve holes. Where Adam's was relatively simple, Kim went to town on my shirt. It was cropped a little shorter than Adam's, but still tasteful for a school sponsored event. Because there was extra fabric due to my trim swimmer build, Kim cut up the sides and braided them together, tightening the shirt around my waist. The sleeves were cut into strips to hang down over arms, and the neck was cut out to be loose around the top. The whole effect was slightly feminine and sexy, showing off my toned body and basically telegraphing my preferred position.

Thomas walked over from the Hispanic Coalition table, he was surprisingly nervous, channeling his anxiety into making sure everything was perfect. "We all set?" Adam and I nodded back, "Good, students are starting to come in. Let's get this party started!" He pulled out his phone and hooked it up to a Bluetooth speaker. "Born This Way" started playing, the queers around us at the other org tables started bobbing their heads.

Time flew by as freshmen poured into the ballroom. Every now and then we would get an odd stare from someone who walked by, but more often than not, we were met with joy by some queer student who was excited to find us. Jordan from the swim team stopped by, and I introduced him to Thomas and the gang from the Coalition. He seemed excited to get involved and find his community. As things were winding down, I realized Thomas was right, that being here was important, showing up and being out meant something, that we were effecting change.

"Hey, you're Alex right?" I looked up at a handsome, curly haired guy. He had a sharp face that seemed wise beyond its years, smooth skin with a deep tan. He looked like he just stepped off a beach at sunset after a full day of surfing and soaking up the sun.

I was racking my brain for this guys name, he seemed familiar, yet...

"Oh hey! It's Michael!" Adam jumped in, saving me, "From BS West, remember?"

My hazy memory from that night started to return, the flashes of dancing with this guy, "Oh yeah! Good to see you again! Sorry I didn't reach out, I kinda lost your number. I had a rough night."

He smiled, perfect white teeth flashed behind his thin lips, "Ha, no prob, man. I could tell you were having fun. But I'm glad I ran into you," he looked me up and down, taking in my tight body, thin waist and round hips, "I love your shirt," he said smiling.

I chuckled, "Thanks. It's good to see you too. What brings you to Passport?"

"I just transferred to ASU, so I figured I'd see what's going on. And honestly, it's too much. This school is way too big."

"I know, right? But you'll find your place," I looked up at his piercing blue eyes, which seemed to dance, reflecting light like the waves of the ocean.

Then there was movement behind Michael, and a couple of large guys were walking toward us, all wearing the same shirt with the letters of Jack's Fraternity on them. The guy who seemed most in charge walked up to the table and stood besides Michael. Michael looked small standing next to this big built black man, who somehow felt intimidating and approachable at the same time.

"Hey, you're Alex, right?" he said, looking at me. His face was round, with a bald head, thick neck, and large shoulders. His beefy arms were barely restrained by his t-shirt, which hung tightly to his large upper body and thick torso. He smiled, bright white teeth shining against his dark skin. "I'm Rich, President of Jack's Fraternity."

What the fuck? I thought, staring at this guy. Thomas and Adam appeared behind me, as if backing me up. Michael felt the tension between us, but didn't say anything, he stood there looking back and forth between us, unsure about what was happening.

Rich stuck out his hand. I didn't take it. "What do you want?" I said, folding my arms across my chest.

"Shit, it's not like that, I swear. I want to help, I promise."

"For real? You're about to kick a guy out of your frat for being gay. I don't know how much you actually care."

"I really don't want that to happen. I'm doing everything I can -"