Alpha Bear on Campus

The next two days my phone physically felt heavier in my pocket. My lunch on Monday had featured President May giving me his personal cell phone number, so I could reach him if I ever needed to. It had been less than two weeks since I came out to this man that I greatly looked up to. He had become a father-figure for me. And...I had a huge daddy crush on him. Now, I had this man's cell phone number. I wanted to text him but felt like it would be too weird if there wasn't a legitimate reason to do so. He was the university president after all, and I was just some grad student.

The only half-reason I came up with was the classic "thank you card" message:

"President May, this is John Steiner. I just wanted to say thank you for our conversation on Monday and the help you have given me this summer. Also, I realized you didn't have my number yet! Dean Parsons keeps me busy but if you ever need any extra help on the first floor let me know! I'm your guy!"

I reread the text a few times and finally hit 'send.' I checked my phone every minute for the next ten minutes. I was impatient. I wanted to hear back. But nothing came. Relax John. He's a busy man.

Another thirty minutes passed, and then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. My hand immediately shot to my pocket like I was drawing a gun in a duel. It drew the attention and a weird look from my deskmate, Sophia. I looked away embarrassed and more calmly pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was a message from President May!

"Johnny! Good to hear from you! Yes, Monday was a good talk. You don't need an excuse to come and talk to me. My door is always open. Stop by any time!"

He had seen my text for what it was - a desire to connect with him again. I forced myself to wait five minutes before responding. It was a very long five minutes.

"Thank you, Sir. Will do!"

Right away, three blinking dots appeared. He was replying already!

"Do you golf?"

"Yes sir." I typed.

"Would you like to join me and the dean on Saturday at Brentwood? A good friend of mine, Dr. Patterson will be with us too. We need a fourth."

Yes! Ever since President May had mentioned he lived behind the 12th hole, I had dreamed about golfing with him. Maybe we'd end up in his house somehow? Better yet, his bedroom? I told myself to stop thinking crazy talk and accept the invitation while it was still on the table.

"I'd love to. That sounds like fun!"

Ten minutes later I heard from him again confirming my spot in their group.

"Great, looking forward to it! Tee time is at 10:55am. I'll be there around 10:15 warming up. See you then, son."

My heart jumped every time he called me "son." I screenshotted that sequence of texts and made sure to put it in a secret album on my phone for later use.

That whole week I felt like a kid counting down the days until Christmas morning. It couldn't get here fast enough. Saturday morning finally came, and I woke up early to eat a good breakfast and to give myself plenty of time to get ready.

I arrived at Brentwood a little after 10:15am and made the walk to the driving range with my bag slung over my shoulders. President May and Dean Parsons had snagged the two stalls closest to the entrance. Dean Parsons had a pair of tan khaki shorts and red polo with white stripes and a red Callaway hat. His shorts showed off his ass well especially when he bent over. The red polo pulled tight to his body during each swing exposing all his back and shoulder muscles. There was also a good side view of his "dad belly" when he finished his swing. Damn this man was sexy. And I had seen him naked too. Lucky me!

Behind him in the next stall was President May - a man I wanted to see naked even more. President May wore a pair of white golf shorts with a teal polo. He didn't need to be bent over to show off his ass. He completely filled his white golf shorts. The teal shirt accented his tan skin well. Perhaps, I thought, he was an older and fully matured version of Dean Parsons. This realized maturity only added to his sex appeal in my opinion. He was a daddy bear in every conceivable way.

Dean Parsons saw me first. He turned and tapped President May with the end of his club and motioned my way. President May shouted a greeting.

"Johnny! Glad you could make it! You ready to play with the big boys today?"

"Good morning Sir! Dean Parsons, how are you?"

We finished these quick greetings and small talk, and President May invited me to take the stall closest to him to get warmed up. I learned Dr. Patterson would be meeting us at the first tee. We hit balls for about fifteen minutes before making our way to the first tee. President May told me we could share his cart for the day, while the other two used their members' carts. I offered no objection to this idea and gladly took the passenger's seat next to my trusted mentor.

At the first tee there was a man who appeared to be waiting. He wore dark khaki pants, a navy blue golf polo, and matching visor. He looked to be about 6'0, 200lbs and probably in his early 50s.

"That's Dr. Patterson. He's one of my good friends - and a big donor to the university too. He makes gobs of money at the clinic he runs in town. I'm sure he'll mention that to you at some point. He likes to flaunt his success. He's a really good guy though. Actually, he's the one that highly recommended me when the school was looking for a new president. Trust me, you'll like him."

"About time you ladies showed up! I was worried I was going to have golf alone today."

"Well Doug, at least you would have come in first for once!" President May retorted as he stepped out of the cart. They laughed at their jabs and all three exchanged friendly handshakes.

They quickly caught up on how the morning was going and week had been. I noticed Dr. Patterson had the same outgoing alpha persona as the other two. He always had a smart comeback or something to add to the conversation - never lacking in gusto. He was a very handsome man. Whereas President May had a more rugged sexiness to him, Dr. Patterson was more a GQ magazine handsome. He had a strong jaw, warm smile, and stylish circular glasses that completed an intelligent and dignified look. I'm sure if he wanted to, he could steal a few wives from some unlucky husbands. Money and looks go a long way. I found myself already developing an admiration for the man. My focus was dawn back into their conversation when President May introduced me.

"Doug, this is John Steiner. He's a grad student at the university and has been working in the business department for us this summer." I stepped forward to shake his hand.

"John, pleased to meet you. I'm Dr. Patterson." He had a strong grip. When he released my hand I saw him give me a quick look up and down. "So you're with the big man here?" He said while patting President May's hard stomach. The comment struck me as a little odd. It seemed to have a "dating" or "together" implication. I wasn't sure how to respond. Neither was President May who was noticeably embarrassed by the comment - the first time I had ever seen him embarrassed.

"Rick and I have been working John pretty hard this summer, so we thought we would treat him to a little golf." President May sounded like he was covering for something. He then stepped between me and the doc shielding me with his back, so I couldn't read his lips. I couldn't make out what was being said except for when Dr. Patterson laughed and said, "Oh my mistake!"

Dean Parsons grabbed my attention and pulled me over to him. He was shaking his head and laughing to himself.

"John, why don't you do us the honors and take the first shot. Let's see what you got."

I walked with the dean further up in the tee box and stopped between the two white markers. The other two stayed towards the back of the tee box and carried on their private conversation. I was slightly nervous going first and decided to take a conservative shot. It landed in the fairway, but it was certainly not the furthest shot in the world. Dean Parsons drove his ball about 60 yards beyond mine. President May and Dr. Patterson hit their drives further than me as well. I hoped I would be able to hold my own with this group.

The three of them talked and joked like they were old pals. It took a couple holes for me to ease in and grow comfortable in this new dynamic. I adopted my usual demeanor and was the quiet one that listened and laughed when they laughed. I quickly figured out the tee boxes would be my favorite part of each hole. I greatly enjoyed checking out all three men's ample posteriors when they bent down to place their tee.

On the third hole Dr. Patterson and I hit drives close together on the fairway while President May and Dean Parsons were in the rough on the left side. This gave Dr. Patterson and me a chance to get acquainted with each other a bit more. He asked me about school and my post-degree plans. I also learned more about his local clinic. He was a family physician and his clinic had been quite successful for several years. This allowed him to hire more staff, so he could play golf more. "The boss golfs while the hired hands work" were his words. He only cared for his "VIP patients" now.

A cart attendant drove by, and he offered to buy me a beer. At first, I refused, but he insisted. He told the attendant to charge the drinks to his account and gave her a $20 tip. We toasted and resumed to hitting our second shots.

Dr. Patterson and Dean Parsons quickly showed themselves to be the superior players. Golf was much more of a social thing for President May. He was no slouch, but he enjoyed the time to unwind, crack a few jokes, and make small talk with the other players that we passed on nearby holes. The president was well-known.

President May also took advantage of our alone time in the cart to probe me a little bit about our new shared secret. He asked if I had given any more thought to coming out; if I was looking to date anyone; did I have any crushes on campus, etc. I lived up to my moniker as the avoidance ninja and gave very elusive answers. I wasn't ready to tell him who it was I fantasized about on most nights. Trying to change the subject, I asked him why he never married.

"I have had my relationships. I just don't feel the need to advertise them in a public way." He stepped out of the cart, grabbed an iron from his bag and began to take practice swings, all the while continuing to divulge a bit of his biography.

"I'm from a different time where being gay wasn't accepted. You're lucky to live in such an welcoming age. I didn't have that benefit. Now, I have enough friends around me that support me, I don't need to come out to anyone else. Plus, the university doesn't need their 60 year old president announcing he's gay. They need him to make them money and grow the university. And unfortunately, in this state of the Union, I think coming out would hinder those goals."

He took a big backswing and attacked the ball with a before unseen anger. THWACK! The ball soared high into the air. It was his longest iron shot of the day.

"Would you say you're out? How many others know?" I was trying to tread lightly but still wanted a better view into his life.

"A fair amount do now - all trusted friends. Not very many people at the university know, but I still live my life, John." He slid back into the cart and took me to my ball. "I have developed a good circle of friends that accept me for who I am." He gave me a side glance. "You have to find that in order to survive in this world."

Dean Parsons and Dr. Patterson were across the fairway lining up their approaches. Dean Parsons was preparing to reach the green in two with a fairway wood.

"Is the dean one of those friends?" I asked and hopped out to play my shot.

"Yes, he knows. Rick and I have grown close during our time working together. I've taken him under my wing a bit, kind of like you." I looked back at him and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Rick went through a bad divorce with his wife, and I was there for him. We've been close ever since."

PING! Dean Parsons hit a monstrous shot that rolled onto the front of the green setting up an eagle putt.

"Nice shot, Ricky!" President May hollered.

The dean gave everyone a tip of the hat. It was my turn next. I hit a decent shot that ended twenty yards short of the green's edge. I climbed back into the passenger's seat.

"What about Dr. Patterson? Is he one of your close friends?"

"Yes, Dr. Patterson is a very good friend. We go way back as I've mentioned. We both belong to the a very exclusive club."

"What club is that?" I asked.

President May smiled. "I've said too much." He then patted my knee. I turned away disappointed. He saw this and offered me one more teasing nugget of information. "Maybe one day you'll get to learn more about that little club."

On the fifth hole we were getting ready to leave the tee box having already hit our drives when President May recognized a young guy walking to the green on the adjacent hole. The guy had blonde hair looked to be in his late twenties, had a muscular athletic build, and a good summer tan. President May called out to the guy called out to the guy and waved him over. His name was Ben.

President May introduced us to each other and explained that Ben was had been a student at the university years ago before going off to law school. Ben and the president caught up a bit, running through the last year or so of their lives. Ben was back in town for the summer and was getting a round of golf in with his dad.

The conversation soon ended as both had to resume their rounds to avoid holding up the whole course. When Ben walked away I expected us to drive away, but we stayed parked. President May was still looking at Ben's departing figure.

"Would you look at that John!" I turned to look. Ben was swinging his club in his left hand as he bounded back up to the green. "That's one reason I love this club. There's so many young hotties around."

I wasn't sure what to say to this. Ben was not my type. I couldn't share in the admiration. It did feel a little strange checking out other men with my university president. But then again, I had to remind myself, president and student were no longer the best descriptors for our relationship.

President May sensed my uncertainty. "Am I making you uncomfortable, John?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "No, you're fine. I am just not sure what you want me to say."

"I'm being open with you, Johnny because I want you to be more open with me. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging when you see an attractive man. Am I right?" He said this as he grabbed the back of my neck and gave me a friendly and affectionate shake - like a father would to his son. I simply gave a slight head nod.

"Stop keeping everything bottled up inside. It's not healthy. Let it out! It feels good to be able to talk out loud about the men you desire. To be able to actually say, 'Damn, he's hot."

I remained silent still focused on the hand that was on the back of my neck. It was so warm.

"Look at Ben there." I turned my head and saw Ben getting ready to take his putt. "Look at his flexed triceps as he holds the club; see that small tight ass - that handsome face."

I could feel the president's hand still on my neck. He started to massage the nape of my neck with his thumb. He dropped his voice to a seductive whisper.

"It's okay to say it. You would have a go at that wouldn't you?"

I switched positions in my seat to turn back toward President May. His eyebrows were raised waiting for an answer. I had never been this close to his face before, not even on car rides to Willie's. I loved the color of his seasoned skin. His eyes had a unique gaze - like you could see the many years of experience they held if you looked deep enough. One corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile; the other side pointed downward in a smirk. This is who I wanted - a man, a father, a Sir - not some twink. Gosh, I wanted to kiss him right there.

I turned away in frustration and stared at my feet. I couldn't let myself be seduced by his natural charisma. It would be inappropriate to make such a gesture - not only because it was probably unwanted, but also because he was the university president and I was a student. It would be highly inappropriate. On top of that, we were in plain view. I had to do a better job guarding myself.

President May gave my neck one last squeeze before his hand returned to the wheel. "You let me know when you trust me. I'll be all ears." He took off the parking break we sped away to catch up with our group.

I sat there kicking myself. Why couldn't I tell him? Why couldn't I simply say I wasn't into guys like Ben - that I was into older men, bigger men? It took a few seconds, but eventually my frustration boiled over. Before I could give myself a chance to second guess what I was doing, I blurted it out what I had been longing to confess.

"I like older men."

There was a brief silence. The half-smile returned to President May's face. Was he laughing at me? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that was an out of bounds thing to admit. I stared at the floor trying to make myself disappear.

"Johnny, look at me." His voice was calm yet demanding. I reluctantly obeyed. "I know." He said.

He knew? I was confused. I had expected a surprised reaction. "What do you mean, you know? How?" I exclaimed.

"I was never 100% sure. But I've grown more confident in that hunch each time we've talked or each time I've seen you interact with the dean."

I became a tad defensive. I had taken great care my whole life to hide my attraction towards men. If he had been able to see through me, maybe others had? Maybe, my camouflage wasn't as disguised as I thought.

"How could you have figured it out from our conversations? Is it because I call you 'Sir'? That's just me being respectful?

"Johnny, you have to understand who you are talking to. I have lived this life discreetly for many years. I know all the subtle signs and clues for closet cases. My detection is very sharp at this point in my life."

This made sense. He was a talented man in all areas of life. Also, why was I so on edge about it in the first place? I could trust President May. I was curious though to know what my tells were.

"So what gave it away?"

He thought about this for a second before responding.

"Nothing gave it away. There were a combination of things that moved the needle in certain directions. You are a good looking man. You could probably have anyone on campus, yet you're single. You quickly turned down any suggestion about asking Meaghan out and always changed the subject." I guess my ninja skills were not so sneaky with that tactic it turns out.

"Let's see, what else? You look at older men with more admiration than is typical. You have puppy dog eyes." His body shook a little trying to hold in a laugh at this condescending comment. "And we've talked about this, but the way you always say 'Sir' and the way you say it. Yes, you are using good manners, but you do it to an excessive degree. Don't take this the wrong way John, but you're kind of a kiss ass."

He glanced over at me to see how I was taking all this. Being called a 'kiss ass" had caused a small scowl to form on my face.

"Oh, stop it!" He gave me a nudge with his shoulder. "I don't mean that as an insult. It's a compliment! Frankly, I like getting my ass kissed."

He paused our conversation to hit his next shot. I watched his ass bounce back and forth as he walked to his ball. I imagined what it would be like to really kiss his ass. He hit a well placed approach shot on the back of the green. When he returned he continued.

"Maybe this is a nicer way to say it. You're a pleaser, and sexually see yourself as a bottom, a submissive. While that doesn't necessarily mean you are attracted to older men - it's the most natural fit. Young submissive bottoms often want a daddy. That label fits a lot better on someone who is old enough to actually be your daddy."