I had always felt a little different growing up. I was probably a little more sexual than most people were, but it was a private thing. I didn't sleep around or do anything most would consider wild; but nonetheless, a part of me was different from most guys. It is difficult to explain, but it is as if I have lace under my exterior of leather. It wasn't an everyday feeling but something that came about now and again. I never shared this with friends or even girlfriends with whom I had been intimate. I knew they wouldn't understand or be very receptive so I kept it to myself. In college, I began exploring and thinking about these feelings.
Although I am masculine in behavior, I've always had a feminine side, something delicate and sensitive, a receptive nature. I enjoy reading Cosmo and Glamour. After reading different sites on the web, I thought I might be transgender. I tried cross-dressing a couple of times but that wasn't it. Only certain feminine expressions aroused me. I also stopped repressing the occasional same-sex attraction. Only certain men brought about my desire, but it was there. After the break up of a long-term relationship my senior year, I decided to experiment and act upon some of those feelings. I had a couple of experiences with other students whom I met in chat rooms. It was exciting to finally try the things about which I only dared fantasize but I was unsatisfied with complete strangers I saw only once. Anonymous sex was a turn off and was missing something. I need to feel connected before I can enjoy and appreciate something as personal as sex. I had a couple of one-night stands with women and even that pleasure wore off as I matured.
After college, I moved to another state. I landed a job as an assistant manager at a nice restaurant. I became good friends with one of the hostesses. Shelly was engaged but her fiancé lived out of town. I didn't know anyone so we hung out together occasionally. She is open-minded and easy to talk to. One night after a long day and too many drinks, talk turned a little risqué. After daring each other to confess personal things, she confessed she had buggered one of her boyfriends with a strap-on dildo. We laughed and she pressed me for something personal. I thought for a moment then sheepishly said I had had a few bi experiences. She didn't blink and told me of her same-sex flirtations in the dorm. I pretended not to be aroused at the thought smiling at her comment. We continued with a few more embarrassing stories and finally there was a pause. "Well," she blurted, "I know someone. Anyway, you are still new in town and don't know that many people."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Just someone you might like to meet," she continued. "He," she emphasized, "just got out of a long term relationship. You don't know many people so you might hang out, and you know, do whatever."
I felt flush. I was aroused by the 'he' but wished I kept my mouth shut at this point. I wanted to retreat. "I am just kind of bi," I replied. "I can be turned on in that way but I am not interested in a relationship with a man.
"Steve is cool and laid back," she answered. "Don't worry about it. You can't have too many friends."
"That's true," I answered and tried to relax.
She picked up her phone and dialed. "Let's see if he is home," she said nonchalantly.
"No way," I said as I stood. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"Chill," she said. "He is probably home bored and I won't even mention you."
"Thanks," I said, not reassured. The waitress came by and I ordered a couple more drinks, trying not to listen.
"Ok, see you in a few," she finished and ended the call. "Oh, just relax. It is just friends having a drink," she said.
We talked for perhaps twenty minutes when he arrived. Shelly waved him over to the table. Ok, he was an attractive guy. He was tall, lean, and muscular. He gave Shelly a kiss on the cheek then sat. Shelly introduced us.
"Steve, this is Will. He is an assistant manager at the restaurant."
"Nice to meet you," Steve said extending his hand.
I shook and replied, "Nice to meet you too."
"Will is new in town and doesn't know many people," she said looking at me.
"That won't be a problem," Steve said. "This is a friendly town."
"I told Will you're unattached and you might enjoy hanging out," Shelly said. She wouldn't come out and say anything but she implied enough to make me nervous. "And Will is a fun guy, aren't you Will," she continued with a wink.
"Yeah, I suppose," I said with a weak smile.
"He just needs to loosen up," she said with a devilish smile.
We laughed and luckily, the waitress came by with the drinks. I took a large gulp as Steve ordered one. We stayed and chatted for a while then it was time to leave. "Why don't you give me your number and we'll hang out sometime, there are lots of cool places around town," Steve said before we got up to leave. Nervous, I wrote it on a cocktail napkin and handed it to him. This evening had taken an interesting twist.
Luckily, I had to work the next day and was too busy to think of anything but work. Still, images popped into my head occasionally. I pushed them out of my mind and focused on work. On the drive home I began to wonder when Steve and I might get together. I didn't exactly want it to get out that I occasionally enjoyed the company of men. Of course, who is to say he would even be interested. My mind raced. I was home for only about ten minutes and the phone rang. It was Steve. I tried to hide my nervousness and excitement. We chatted for only twenty minutes or so. Steve was disarming and our conversation stuck to general things and didn't get personal. We talked about getting together some time but didn't set any specific day. He did invite me over to swim sometime in his pool.
He called me again the next evening. We exchanged some small talk then talked about getting together. "So, have you thought about coming over for a swim?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think it'd be fun, especially with the heat wave we're having," I replied. We continued with the conversation. It was quickly became sexually charged after his next comment.
