It started out as an English project while I worked on my Masters at Oxford. I came there from Los Angeles on a Fulbright scholarship to study self-identified sexual orientation among internet users. As a bisexual, I always questioned the idea that people could be born liking one gender other the other and stay that way forever. By analyzing stories and personal ads on the internet, I hoped to prove my thesis.
I saw a pattern over and over in the internet advertisements for gay sex posted by Arabs in the UK. More often than not, those Arab men identified themselves as straight, instead of bisexual. I attributed this to cultural taboos that prevented them from admitting their same-sex attractions, and arranged to conduct several interviews to verify this hypothesis.
So there I was in a conference room of the Oxford English Department waiting to interview a few dozen "straight" Arab men about their sex lives and their attitudes towards sex. I dressed formally, in a button down shirt and slacks. In retrospect, I should have worn jeans.
My first interview was with Michael, an undergraduate lad in Oxford who was born and raised in London. His parents had come over to the UK form the UAE, and they had strived to Westernize him. During the interview he kept indentifying himself as straight, and kept describing times he topped both men and women. As is standard in this type of academic research, I had to repeat my questions with different phrasing a few times to make the results more valid.
This repetition annoyed him a bit. "You keep asking me if I'm gay, bi, or straight, even though I keep telling you I'm straight. Don't you believe me?" he asked.
"Sorry," I said, "I'm just trying to make sure. It's my methodology."
He put a hand over the paper I was writing on. "Look, I can hear it in your voice every time you respond to my answers. You don't think I'm straight."
He had got me. Chalk it up to a lack of practice, but I didn't hide my doubt very well. I mean, the guy could list time after time when he fucked men. How about he be straight. I tried to patch things over. "It's just that in standard English, we call a man bisexual if he fucks both men and women."
Michael laughed. "Bitches get fucked, men don't. There's nothing gay about fucking a male bitch, even if he some dick and balls there."
This comment offended me. I decided it was time for him to realize he was talking to an LBGT individual. Sure, it would compromise my data, but it was worth it to make him view gay and bi men with more respect. "I'm bisexual, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Why are you?"
"You have sex with both men and women?" he asked.
"Yes," I said.
"You are always the top?" he asked.
"I'm a top with women and an oral bottom with men," I explained.
"An oral bottom? What is that?" he asked.
With a sigh, I said, "An oral bottom sucks cock, but does not give up his ass."