To say that me and Andrew were only friends would have been a gross understatement. Lovers felt too sickly and no label inbetween seemed to recognise the nuances of our relationship.
We'd met in our first year of University, both English students and both with a penchant for creative writing. There wasn't any more than a two month age gap between us but the way that he carried himself often made him feel more like my mentor. In general conversation it was clear that this perspective worked vice versa. Andrew could tell that I looked up to him and it was never that he spoke down to me, but the way that he made everything sound like a life lesson definitely gave the implication that he saw me as some sort of apprentice.
Not that I minded. Even if we hadn't synced personality wise, I would have still been completely enamoured by Andrew from the first moment I'd seen him. He was the brooding type. Stylishly messy black hair that fell in waves and was cleanly cropped above pierced ears. Thick eyebrows that framed a beautifully expressive face and a strong nose that wrinkled playfully whenever I said something that he found amusing. His eyes justified almost an entire page completely. Honey coloured and flecked with gold. Sometimes I found myself babbling on about something completely nonsensical just to melt in his gaze.
But we're getting off topic.
Andrew and I often found ourselves sharing ideas, stories; sometimes I'd find him in my dorm room after a night out, sprawled out on my cramped bed and teasingly suggesting I read him one of my essays in order to help him get to sleep. Not that he didn't find faults with what I wrote. I was constantly getting critiques that my work was too personal.
"If I wanted to read about you, I'd find your diary, Jonas." He joked. Or it started off as a joke, at least. But the more we got to know eachother, the more of our intimate writing we shared. Soon enough, nothing was off limits.
Andrew had invited me over to his place tonight. He wasn't in student accommodation, and was wealthy enough to afford an apartment in the city. With its size and sheer beauty, along with the books that filled the walls from top to bottom, I couldn't help but be surprised at the insistence that we spend so much time sat on the floor of my room.
It had been raining that night and as we stepped into the dimly lit hallway, I found myself watching as he peeled off his coat and dropped it carelessly to the floor. Toned muscles peaked out under the dampness of his white button-up. I'd left my jacket back at my dorm and quickly found myself underneath the warmth of a soft towel that had been thrown over my head.
"Do you smoke, Jonesy?" Andrew had wandered into the main living space and when I followed him, I found him sprawled out on one of three sofas, legs kicked carelessly up over the side.
"Nah. I mean, once or twice but my mum smoked for years, said she'd kill me if she ever saw me with a cigarette." My response is met with a derisive snort.
"I don't see your mum here, do you?"
I laugh sheepishly, for some reason looking around instinctively, just to make sure my mum hadn't followed me for three hundred miles to make sure I wasn't breaking her deep seated family morals. The apartment was big, but definitely empty other than the two of us.
Andrew pats the seat of the sofa beside him and I sit down, sinking into the soft cushions that looked like they cost more than my student loans. I was being suffocated in privilege. I part my lips to say as much but he props a cigarette between them instead and leans in close to light it for me. His cologne smells sweet and feminine. I'd dislike it on anyone else other than him.
"Have you finished the essay for Nora yet?"
Nora. Nora Hindmarsh. Head of our English course. As much as I was enamoured by Andrew I was captivated by Nora. Equal parts Scottish and Jamaican and a penchant for floral patterns. She carried herself very gracefully but had a wry smile that made my heart flutter, and Andrew knew this.
"I can tell she wants me." He says breezily, lighting himself a cigarette. He lets the comment hang in the air and regards me thoughtfully. He must catch the confusion in my expression because he laughs and blows smoke out into my face.
"Bullshit." I reply flatly, pushing him back with my foot in an attempt to be playful, as opposed to annoyed. "You only think that because your head's bigger than your student loan. You think that everybody who smiles at you as a thing for you."