Chapter 55: Together Again
Adam and Merrick stand at the railing, staring up into the night sky. Merrick nuzzled up to Adam lovingly as their hands interlaced with each other, and Adam's other arm wrapped around Merrick.
"I love you so much." Adam said as he kissed Merrick's head, "I'm so sorry for everything..."
"Adam..." Merrick said, "...I'm sorry too..."
"For what, babe?" He asked, "I was the one who fucked up. I swear, I'll never touch another drink in my life." Merrick chuckled as he rubbed his leg with Adam's.
"No, that's okay, Adam, you don't have to stop drinking."
"Good, because I love Cosmos, and I've been wanting to try one of those Fizzy Pixies." Merrick laughed at that.
"No, no, what I meant is..." Merrick held on tighter, "After everything else, I still couldn't figure out how to be your mate, your lover..."
"What are you talking about, Merrick? You're ev-"
"I don't talk about things, Adam," Merrick interrupted, "And when I do, I go to Yuri, and that's only with..." Merrick hesitated, and sighed as he bows his head, "Everything..."
The merman straighten back up, and continued, "Growing up, my Father taught me that I must cast off many of my personal burdens for the greater good, to keep my focus for the sake of the pod and the future. That means that anything that may be hurting me, I have to deal with on my own..." He shook his head, "Usually, I don't like to talk about these things to you because you're my boyfriend, so you shouldn't have to deal with it, nor am I supposed to show that kind of weakness. I often talk to Yuri about these sorts of things because for some reason, it feels more freeing to go to her."
"Merrick, why wouldn't you want to talk to me?" Adam stroked his cheek. "That's what boyfriends are for."
"So I've heard," Merrick said, "But... It's the same old problems with me... I miss the sea, my pod, my old life... It should be obvious-" He hesitated, "I mean... I thought it was... And after a while, I get sick of reporting to you about the same old problems. So eventually, I learned to stop trusting you..." Merrick sniffled a little, "A-And I was wrong... When I said I lost everything because of you..."
"No you weren't, Merrick..." Adam sighed, "You had your whole life set before you, and it all fell apart when you found me. It's my fault-" Merrick turned his head and kissed him. Adam blinked awkwardly as he stood there, as his merman lapped and licked softly at his lips.
"I told you before, Adam..." Merrick kissed Adam a little more passionately, "If saving you from that Siren was a mistake... I'm glad I made it..." He nudged Adam's cheek affectionately, "And among everything else, I didn't lose you... And I never will..." Merrick muttered as he rubbed Adam's chest. Adam hugged him tightly as they turned back to the dark ocean surface as the ship sailed along push and pull of the water. "And... Adam, I need to confess something..."
"Go on," Adam said.
"I know I say a lot of bad things about humans... How they destroy, ruin, consume everything." Merrick cast his eyes down for a moment. "But in truth..." He turned his head back around to look his lover in the eyes, "I'm vastly jealous of humanity." Adam blinked.
"You're... Jealous?"
"Yes..." Merrick looked up at the moon. "You humans... You may destroy a lot of things, but you create as much as you're able to..." Merrick continued, "Even when a building is destroyed, eventually someone will rebuild what was lost, maybe even better. Even when it comes to courtship, you said it yourself - humans can love and fuck over and over again."
"Baby..." Adam shook his head, regretting that he ever said such a thing.
"But us merfolk? We can never do what humans do on a regular basis. We can never go back as you can... None of us are capable of having a second love... All we can do is survive and carry what we can."
"Okay, now," Adam turned Merrick's chin to face him. "You listen to me, sweetie." He kissed those sweet, pink lips. "There is nothing wrong with the merfolk's way of life."
"But that night, you said-"
"I was drunk," Adam interrupted, "And I never get drunk. And when people get drunk, they get stupid, and I was a complete dumbass." Adam next kissed Merrick's nose, "Now I said some stupid shit, but some people would actually prefer merfolk living rather than living with humans - a lot of humans would rather live like that."
"Adam, you don't have to-"
"Merrick I mean it! My Aunt Dolli, my Dad's sister, she lives out in the middle of nowhere in the desert, away from other people, and she prefers to live like that." Merrick blinked.
"Are you serious? I've always heard that deserts are dry, desolate places."
"Yes, but she happens to prefer that sort of place to live. Not all humans need to keep together in crowded places." Merrick chuckled.
"You're just saying that-"
"No, I'm not, Merrick." Adam shook his head. "You've seen me, babe, I'm not a good liar."
"Hehehe," Merrick smiled as Adam hugs him closer.
"Besides, think about it - in an average human house, you always have to think about your job, your rent, endless bills, going from place to place in your car, having to worry about the car itself, the insurance - it's all just one, big, complicated mess. But in a pod of merfolk, you don't have to worry about that. Everyone has a place, everyone has a simple task to follow, you stick together, you don't need so many complications," Adam said, "A lot of humans would kill for that kind of life."