Arlo sighed as he set down the clipboard. He rolled his neck lazily. The bruises from Donovan's last beatings had begun to fade, but he still had to wear make up. In a few days they would be gone and he would be back to normal. But right now, his neck still hurt. He would kill someone for a massage and a glass of wine. Arlo shook his head. He knew he had to keep thoughts like that away.
He had met Donovan when he was in med school. Donovan had been studying to be a doctor too, but ended up dropping out and opened up his own hardware store. The pay wasn't great, but it took care of a bill or two. They had been in love at first sight, and started dating. The first year was great. They were happy and in love. But when Donovan started drinking to cope with the stress of running his own business, Arlo followed. Soon they lost their apartment, Donovan almost lost the store, and Arlo was about to be kicked out of school, all because of their drinking. Arlo finally admitted he needed help, and joined a twelve step program. It was hard, but eventually he was sober. Donovan followed close behind, after Arlo threatened to leave him. It was hard enough to quit drinking, it was even harder when your lover brought home bottle after bottle, reeking of the stuff.
They were both sober for three months, before Donovan began slipping back into his old ways. He became violent when Arlo would get upset. Or even when Arlo was just in the room. That was when the abuse started. Arlo was forced to choose between his health, and his boyfriend. After telling Donovan he had to choose between Arlo and the booze, Donovan caved again. It was an ongoing circle. Donovan would be sober for a few months, and then everything would go back to the way it was. Arlo hated it, but how could he bring himself to leave someone he loved so much? With another sigh, he returned to the front desk of the E.R. to see what else had popped up.
"Ronda, anything new come in?" he asked, looking at a clipboard.
"Something new, alright," the nurse seemed distracted.
"What are you...Officer Hud- erm...Jake," Arlo quickly corrected himself.
"Hey, Doc," the man winked. "Ronda," he nodded at the older woman, who fanned herself and walked away.
"What are you doing here?" Arlo asked, trying to hide the smile that begged to cross his face. Their date had gone wonderfully, whenever Arlo could keep from thinking about what he was doing to Donovan.
"I thought I would bring you some lunch. You're looking a little pale," Jake laughed.
"Am I? Ugh, I didn't get a lot of sleep," Arlo blushed, embarrassed about his disheveled state.
"It's okay, everyone has those days. Can you take a break and come eat?" Jake asked, holding up a generic brown paper bag.
"Uh...well..." Arlo began looking through the clipboard filled with patients that had just come in. "I-"
"Yes, he can," Ronda said, snatching the board from Arlo's hands with a raised eyebrow.
"I think that's a yes," Arlo laughed. Jake smiled, and Arlo walked around the counter to meet him.
"Know anywhere good to sit?" Jake asked.
"There's a beautiful park across the street, let's go over there," Arlo smiled.
"Sounds good," Jake said. They picked a nice clean picnic table and sat down in the bright sun.
"So, what's on the menu?" Arlo tried to peek inside the bag, but Jake moved it out of his view.
"For the main course, we have tuna sandwiches, with a side of doritos. For dessert, a chocolate ghirardelli square. And for your beverage tonight, a nice cold Budweiser," Jake said, in a bad french accent. Arlo smiled as Jake pulled out each item, until he got to the last. He bit his lip, and silently grabbed his own share of food. He began eating silently, trying to keep his eyes off of the glistening beer.
"This is good," he nodded. He didn't usually like tuna, but Jake made them taste different.
"Something the matter, Doc?" Jake raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Arlo shook his head, not wanting to make Jake feel like he did something wrong.
"Come on, tell me Doc," Jake pouted.
"...Uh...well...it's just that I'm a recovering alcoholic," Arlo admitted, blushing. He had never gotten used to saying the words.
"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Jake said, looking like a puppy who had peed in the corner.
"No, no. It's fine," Arlo shook his head.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just didn't think about it," Jake said, apologizing.
"I said it's fine. It was just a simple mistake, no harm done," Arlo smiled, putting his hand on Jakes.
"Okay... sorry... again," Jake blushed. It was strange seeing the big man so awkward. Arlo smiled, and they went back to eating in silence. The silence wasn't as awkward as Arlo thought it would be. It was kind of peaceful. "If you don't mind my asking... how long have you been sober?" Jake asked. Arlo swallowed his bite and smiled.
"I don't mind. It will be five years in a few weeks," Arlo said, proud of how long he had gone without a drink.
"Wow. That's impressive," Jake smiled.
"Yeah... I started drinking when I first started med school, with... a boyfriend." Arlo said, thinking of Donovan made him feel guilty. "It was just so hard to stop and, before I knew it, I really had a problem. I guess the thing that really made me pull my head out of my ass was when I was almost kicked out of med school. I didn't want to end up one of those losers you see on "Cops", passed out in some abandoned building with no clothes on," Arlo laughed.
"Yeah, I don't want to be the asshole cop who has to arrest you and find you some pants," Jake laughed. They shared the laugh together, and Arlo couldn't help but smile when the big man smiled. He was so much bigger than Arlo, but so sweet. Arlo felt a twinge of something in his heart. Something he hadn't felt from Donovan in a long time.
"Lunch was fun yesterday, by the way. I don't think I ever thanked you," Arlo smiled, smoothing his pants out nervously.
"Yeah, I had a good time. Just like I am right now. Maybe... maybe we can make this a regular thing..." Jake hinted.
"Way to slide that in there," Arlo rolled his eyes. Jake blushed and took a small bite out of his chocolate square. "I..." Arlo was about to accept, when he thought of Donovan again. Could he really do this? Cheat on his boyfriend? When he accepted the first date, that was different. It could have been just a lunch date between friends, a way for a patient to say thank you to the Doctor. It was only a test, to see what it felt like to be cared for. To be treated sweetly. But now... accepting Jake's offer for a long term boyfriend... that was different. Arlo would be going into this knowing he was lying to both of them. He would be a cheater.
As all of this crossed his mind, he stared into the deep eyes of Jake. The man looked at him so sweetly, and with a soft smile. He was a nice man, and a cop at that. All he wanted to do was help people, just like Arlo. He had treated him to lunch, and came to check in at him at work with another lunch date. Donovan never took him out, or made him lunch. When Jake touched him, it was gently, with light strokes and small squeezes. When Jake laughed, it was with him and not at him.
"I would love that," Arlo said. His mouth spoke the words while his brain still thought it through. He hated himself, and loved himself all at the same time. How could he do this to Donovan? Cheat on him. But how could he not do this? He deserved someone who treated him well, and he knew it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arlo got home late. His phone had died at work, and he had tried the house phone but received no answer. He stepped inside the door nervously, and was relieved when he saw Donovan was asleep. He stripped down, and crawled into bed. Donovan stirred.
"Work keep you?" He mumbled through the deep sleep he had awoken from.
