"So, you fancy him, do you?"
"No, I fancy you Maurice," I answered, trying to make a joke out of it. But I was beginning to get a little irritated with Maurice. We both knew why he'd offered me this trip home, and I was getting tired of him just not getting to it.
"But you do fancy him, don't you?" Maurice persisted. "I mean you have nothing against mixed Orientals, have you? What would you say? A fourth White Russian, half northern Chinese, a fourth Thai, I would say. And I've been around in the region taking on deck hands long enough to be a pretty good judge of that.
"Yes, I suppose that could be right. Hell, I don't anything about that. I'd only been in Singapore two weeks when you and I met."
"I was very selective, Paul. I always am," Maurice continued. If he could tell I was on the edge of irritation, he wasn't admitting it. We were in the dining room of his container ship bound from Singapore to Miami by way of India, South Africa, and up the coast of South America. "Nine days and eight nights to Mumbai, India," Maurice was saying. "Eight deckhands taken on in Singapore and exchanged in Mumbai for the run to Cape Town with a new set. In each port, a new set. Just like always. Carefully picked."
I wasn't half listening to what Maurice was saying. He owned this container ship—and apparently several others—all plying the equator route, picking up here and letting off there, enabling the exchange of goods by countries across the tropics. I guess that made him quite wealthy. He was egalitarian, though. The passenger accommodations on the ship had proven to be surprisingly comfortable and plush. He must have had at least ten well-appointed cabins for passengers beyond the ship's crew, but only he and I occupied any of these cabins on this run. And all, owner, passenger, and crew alike, took their regular meals in the common dining room.
I looked over at the sailor Maurice was prompting me to show interest in. It didn't take much effort to show interest in him. He was a well over six feet and muscle hardened, as a veteran commercial sailor had to be. Maybe thirty-five, maybe older. As Maurice noted, he seemed to have enough of the Oriental in him to be somewhat inscrutable. Certainly enough White Russian in him though to have a sturdy, if extremely well-toned, physique and a well-chiseled face. And his hearty laugh and the way the others at his table responded and accepted him—obviously a well-liked man of good humor.
David hadn't been like that. As he'd gotten older—and especially as he chose to think that I never aged along with him—and his maladies had set in, he'd gotten more ill-humored and snappish. "When will you grow into looking like a man," he'd mutter at me whenever we had a fight. But what was I supposed to do about that? There were certain attributes that made for a horse jockey type. The grand tour of Asia was supposed to make him happier. Well, that didn't happen.
"So, you fancy him, don't you? Our quarter White Russian."
"Yes, yes, I fancy him," I answered in barely controlled exasperation.
* * * *
"So, you fancy him, do you?"
"Excuse me?" I responded. Surprised to hear myself addressed. It was midday in the Raffles Hotel Long Bar, and I hadn't realized that anyone was sitting at my elbow. I was slinging gin and tonics down in some sort of wake, although I had no idea how an official wake should go. I didn't even like gin and tonics. But this is what David drank, so this is what I was drinking. It was, after all, David's wake.
"The bartender. You two have been chatting it up and you both look quite good. I thought you were working up to getting it on.
"No, no, of course not," I said. I might have been a little short with him, but the barkeep and I had been saying enough for him to know what our preferences were.
I turned and focused on the man sitting beside me at the bar who had asked me this strange question. He was maybe pushing fifty, but he didn't drive a desk, I could tell. He had that hands-on worker aspect about him. Salt and pepper hair, and a lot of it. Thick curlings at the V of his open sports shirt and matting on the backs of his thick-fingered hands where they extended from his sports coat. But he also exuded money and power. Germanic would be what I'd guess if I had to make a guess. I wasn't surprised he was chatting me up. I seem to have something that attracts these older men. David had been about his age when he had transitioned from me riding his horses to him riding me and eventually asking me to move my toothbrush into the main house.
"No," I started again. "I just needed someone to talk to, I guess—to share a last salute with. And I thought the bartender was the only one here. I didn't see you at the bar."
"I wasn't at the bar. I was over there in the corner. Waiting for you to come in."
I didn't have time to process this, because he continued.
"Someone to share a last salute with. I don't . . ."
"My companion . . . Oh, hell, my lover, the man who fed and clothed me . . . died the other day here in the Raffles Hotel. In bed . . . with me. I've just now gotten the paperwork finished and seen his body off for the States. But there wasn't room for me in the box to Boston. So, I'm here, high and dry. I don't know if I'm here to mourn him or to feel sorry for myself."
What was I saying? I blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all of that. I guess I'm still in shock. I hope I didn't say that to the bartender. I just don't remember. Too many gin and tonics, I guess. I'm such a bore."
"No, no, you aren't a bore at all. You're endearing. And, yes, you did mention to the bartender that you had been a racing jockey some years past. That caught me by surprise. You don't look hardly old enough to have had a past. And you've said enough to the bartender that I thought you might fancy each other."