Austin and I have been friends forever. We talk about anything and everything. I talk to him about failed dates and he tells me about his most recent conquest. Ours is a friendship born of an awkward attempt at something deeper that just didn't work out. But even the best of friends have secrets.
He knows most of mine... including my darker side that sends me to a local kink club from time to time. But he doesn't know it all. I know he is curious... but he doesn't ask, so I don't tell. I am sure he has a few secrets of his own. But I never could have imagined what he told me after a few glasses of wine one night...
"I think I might be gay." Austin stated softly, staring into his glass of Merlot.
"What!?" I replied, more than just a little bit shocked. "Why do you think that?"
"I have been wondering what it would feel like... you know." he says slowly, still staring at the wine, unable or unwilling to look at me.
"No, no, I am pretty sure I don't know, Austin...what exactly are you talking about?"
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly... "I wonder what it would be like to be with a another man... to have another man's hand on my penis and playing with my ass."
"Wow... that was unexpected." I reply, trying to think of something to say that doesn't sound lame or judgmental, while refilling my suddenly empty glass.
"But I don't think you're gay."
"You don't?"
"NO!, I mean, shit... you like women right? You get turned on by women."
"Yeah, right, I do...but..."
"Well then, you aren't gay." I try to sound authoritative, "I think it makes you bi-curious."
"What do you think I should do about it?"
"Explore your feelings of course.", I state as matter of fact as possible, my mind still reeling.
"And how do I go about that?"
"Shit Austin! I don't know!" I'm going to lose it at this rate. There are a few minutes of awkward silence while I try to think of something. An idea comes to mind, but it will mean revealing a revelation of my own.
"O-Kay, tell you what... I know someone from the club... He'll be able to help."
"That kink club you go to?" Austin's eyes get big as the idea sinks in.
"Yeah... His name is Jake... he's a Dom, he's bi, and I trust him."
"How do you know him?"
Now it's my turn to be uncomfortably quiet and stare at my glass. "He tops for me at the club."
"What do you mean?"
"He's my Dom, just at the club, once in a while." God, this could go bad in so many ways.