I'm not sure exactly when I first started orally gratifying myself. I've just always seemed to be able to self-soothe this way since I can remember. All I know is that when my penis is in my mouth, all of my problems vanish and nothing else matters. I happen to be blessed with a long torso, an 8" penis, and decent flexibility. I do know that I began self-sucking on a regular basis the day I got my own apartment, free of the burden of worrisome roommates. Over the years I've gotten very good at refining my technique, so I can now pleasure my erection exactly the way it wants, for as long as it wants it. More importantly though, I'm able to put my brain in a very peaceful and lasting, zen-like state during and well-after a good long selfing session.
I tend to go into long and sometimes difficult work binges of marathon code-writing. I'll usually work non-stop developing a web site for a client, knowing a nice cash reward waits for me at the end of it to perpetuate my lifestyle. It's really difficult for me to just pick up where I leave off after taking work breaks, even to just urinate, eat, or sleep, so I take as few breaks as possible during a project, which causes some unnecessary fatigue. When I complete and finally publish the finished product, I need a good long relaxation session to totally unwind and release all of my tension. Usually these sexual sessions which last a full day or more and I'll work out four or five orgasms a day.
When I really got into sucking my penis, I didn't start out swallowing my own cum for a long time. It was always such a naughty, forbidden thing to do (as if sucking on my own cock wasn't). Typically, a masturbation session went like this: I would lay on the floor, on my back, throw my legs over my head, and lower my penis into my mouth. Then I would place my glans and foreskin into my mouth and until I got a good hard erection, swishing the hardening head around between the roof of my mouth and top of my tongue. Generally, until I learned how to stretch out I was only able to fit about three or four inches into my mouth. For some reason though I always resisted attempting to climax in my mouth. I would stroke it with my hand or inside of a toy until I came, and that became my routine for many years.
As my need for greater stimulation increased, I slowly began to master my breathing and practiced yoga to where I was able to greatly increase my ability to bring more of my shaft into my mouth, so my ability to cum solely from oral stimulation increased. Being able to place my feet behind my head while controlling my breathing, bringing my face to the level of my pubis made all the difference. At that point I could theoretically deepthroat my entire erect penis. This when I began enjoying jerking my cock upwards into my mouth to the point of orgasm. The first time I was able to cum using my mouth was very exciting and soon became my preferred means of masturbation. After that, my hands or stroke sleeves just didn't measure up to my own wet, warm mouth. Now I give myself the perfect blowjob, exactly the way I want, for as long as I can maintain the act. There's no anxiety, no pressure, no guilt, and no need to communicate with a partner. There's only perfect, immediate pleasure.
At first I would just cum on my face, occasionally allowing a few drops to stray into mouth out of curiosity. The taste wasn't displeasing, but tasted like chlorinated old socks. It was warm and salty, yet slightly sweet, and sharply pungent. I slowly became accustomed to my very personal and private sexual fluids. The sensation from selfing can be much more intense and exciting than getting a blowjob from another person. You are in total control of how fast, how slow, or how long you stimulate yourself. Your penis tastes like you. It's familiar and rewarding and extremely personal and sensual when you take your own flesh into your mouth. You can literally make slow passionate love to yourself, you can aggressively screw your wet inviting mouth, or you can have anything in between. You become both a submissive and dominant lover at the same time as your brain dictates.
I have a "cum grotto" built into a closet in the middle of my apartment, complete with bean bag chair, dedicated porn PCs, multiple monitors mounted on the wall, and all the masturbation supplies, rags, and toys I require to produce five or six orgasms a day that help me relax after a long, successful, odyssey of hard work. Sometimes I get carried away and continually coax my body orgasm over and over, well past the need for relaxation. I sometimes spend days in my pleasure closet, debauching my horny body in some of the most taboo ways imaginable. I eventually emerge from my dark den, sore, exhausted, sweaty, and in need of a hot shower after being covered in lubricants, saliva, and my own sexual fluids.
Following extended days of thinking about nothing but sex and self pleasure I sometimes dream that I am curled up naked into a tight ball with my own smooth, hardened penis nestled deep in my mouth like the Ouroboros snake eating it's tail. I seem to be slowly fellating myself timelessly, free of the restraints of gravity, or physical limitation, or even the need to breathe. In my dream my stiff erection seems to have a will of its own as it slowly and steadily thrusts and contracts in and out of my submissive throat without any effort from my relaxed body. There is no spinal resistance whatsoever, allowing me to remain in this state for as long as I desire, which is eternal. The only part of my body that seems to be conscious is my erection, commanding my body to do its bidding.
I float in a white void, in this curled ball of bliss, allowing the fleshy, needy creature to pleasure itself for days, for weeks, maybe even years back and forth, endlessly. It glides across my tongue, never tiring or softening, stimulating itself into a shattering climax over and over again. I ignore the need for food or fluids for days, resolving to live off my own seminal fluids for protein and liquid nourishment as I orgasm down my throat over and over again. I refuse to release the tireless beast from my oral grip between the liquid feedings, allowing it to live in my wet mouth.
I create a perpetual, closed-loop system of ejaculation, oral intake, and breakdown into the necessary products of self-regulation. I continually produce semen and sperm in my active reproductive system, only to continuously expel and recycle these products back into my bodies digestive system for reuse. It becomes a self-regulating energy cycle that I maintain indefinitely. I dream that the rest of the world is no longer there. Only the white void exists and my own existence is reduced to a pleasure factory, producing, expelling, recovering, and reprocessing my nourishing ejaculate. As I release wave after wave of fluids I think, "this must be heaven, perhaps I have died." I wake from these dreams rock hard, precum oozing down my shaft, sometimes at 3 or 4am. I always have to release before going back to sleep.
