Awaening

Chay rolls over, trying to tear away from the rise of consciousness that threatens to wrench away the veil of sleep that still drapes over him. It's deep and comforting, his sleep, and he's selfish, wanting to indulge in it more before the sun creeps over the horizon. But he feels movement beside him, remembers he is not alone in this bed and wakeful claws at him, coaxes him from his slumber.

"Matthew?" Chay's voice is rough, the word slurred out and full of sleep. But then he starts, surprised as he finds Matthew sitting up awkwardly in bed with a hand poised upon his erection and another hand buried beneath the blankets between his legs.

"Chay..." Matthew's voice is not as tired, his utterance of a name a lazy drawl heavy with desire. "I'm sorry..." Brilliant blue eyes lower shamefully and Chay reaches out to touch at his cheek.

"Matthew..." Chay waits for those blue eyes to return to him, meet his single grey one that implores him, beseeches him. "Just...not used to waking up to this..."

Not quite like this... To find someone so completely enthralled with him that they must find their release before the dawn even breaks. He remembers Simon would jerk off in bed, but it was clumsy, heavy, noisy and always about Dave, always about Chay, always about the three of them together. Never like this... exclusive and worshipful.

"Did I..." Matthew's eyes shine with emotion, lips contorting in their wrestle with feelings threatening to boil over. There's the lust he's still riding high upon, coupled with the embarrassment of being discovered and the possible sorrow he may be riddled with if Chay shows a hint of disgust.

"No..." Chay leans forward, gathering Matthew into his arms and he discovers now what Matthew's other hand was busy with. Sheets fall away to reveal the dildo half-inserted into Matthew's body, slick with lube.

"Huh..." Chay tilts his head, and Matthew blushes, but his body shivers and clenches around it as he moves to rest into Chay's arms, unable to fight the pleasure it gives him.

"I tried to find something like you. Just...this isn't as thick, not quite right..." Matthew confesses.

Chay's expression softens, a soft smile touching his eyes as he presses a kiss to Matthew's forehead.

"Show me. Show me how you want me to touch you. Show me how you would want me inside you."

Matthew whimpers at those words, arches against the dildo inside him, arches into his own hand.

"But I want you... I want..." He cranes to kiss Chay but Chay moves away, only slightly but enough to evade those lips that seek his.

"Just you... I want to watch you..." And Chay aches to touch, to trace, to adore those lithe lines. He aches to hold Matthew close, to feel the way he shudders and quivers from touches that should be delivered by his own hands and lips and body. It's sweet torture for both of them, and Matthew keens again into his own hand, hips quaking.

"Next time...Next time you can do this while riding me." Chay promises Matthew with a heated gaze, one that shows the smoulder of his desire deep within.

Matthew reads that yearning, knows it all too well as it mirrors his own. He gives in to himself, giving in to touches that he wishes were from Chay, giving in to the deep thrust of a cock hardly real enough. And yet it's the steady thud of Chay's heart, the deep breaths of his lover so closely juxtaposed to the gallop of his own heart, the shallowness of his own breath that bring him closer, wind him tighter.

He wishes so much for it to be Chay, for it to be Chay shaking against him, pressed flush between his legs, wrapped around his body, crashing into him with every wave of pleasure that fills him, and when he comes he is sticky and damp in his own hand.

It's only when he withdraws the plastic cock from himself, only when he's limp in his hand and his head lolls against Chay's chest that he realizes Chay's still there, still holding him, and his come is splattered across his body.

But there's no apology uttered, none accepted as Chay leans down to capture Matthew's lips in a kiss. It's nothing deep, nothing mind-blowing, but it tastes like desire and feels like adoration.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Chay smiles and Matthew witnesses the softness of that smile, knows it borders on love and he follows Chay, hopeful and happy.