Hey Lovelies, sorry for the late update. It's hard to find time to write these days. Sorry.
Elli's Point of View
I have been depressed since I came back from Jamal's house. We didn't necessarily talk when he dropped me off. I tried to invite him inside my home, but he declined. That was the last time I saw and heard from Jamal, and it has already been two weeks. This time around I took the initiative to call him several times. Every time he gave me some bullshit excuse that he was busy and couldn't talk. I was super unhappy about the whole situation. Whenever I was with Jamal, he gave me the feeling that I was the most precious thing to him. When we are separated it seemed like he didn't want anything to do with me. It was confusing as fuck. Jamal dominated my thoughts all the time and knowing that I couldn't have him broke my heart. I couldn't eat nor sleep.
As fate will have it, I unexpectedly met Jamal at a party. As usual, he began flirting with me and I let myself be seduced by him again. After all, that's how I met him, at a party. He would kiss me briefly when no one was paying attention or slap my ass. I was riding high on our erotic flirtation. It thrilled me that no one knew we were fucking on the low though we pretended to be just acquaintances.
"Come home with me, baby boy. I want to bury my cock deep in your ass." Hearing Jamal whisper that in my ears over the loud music turned me on. Of all the people at the party, he wanted me.
"My ass is yours, Papi. Anytime. Anywhere!" I sassed which was probably courage from the alcohol.
"You slutty boy. I'll wait outside for you." Jamal licked my neck before leaving. I waited a couple of minutes before leaving the party too. Thick strong arms engulfed my small frame in a hug from behind just as I stepped outside in the open.
"I can't wait to fill your needy holes with my cum." I moaned at his filthy words and his huge bulge pressing against my ass.
"Jamal, can we talk first?"
"Elli, don't start." He removed his arms from around me and started walking towards a parking lot.
"Why not? We'll be great together." I followed him.
"Just don't complicate things. I like the way things are." Jamal wouldn't even turn to look at me. Why was he so afraid to commit to me? To me, it seemed like he couldn't keep away from me so what was the problem?
"Well, I don't like it. We can't meet randomly, have sex, and then break contact till we meet again. It's exhausting and depressing not knowing shit. I want more. I want all of you to myself." He stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around to face me. Silence fell upon us after pouring my heart out to him.
"Elli how many times must I tell you this? I can't give you that." My heart started beating wildly in my chest. I couldn't for the life of me understand why he was so sexually attracted to me yet didn't want to be with me. My brain couldn't comprehend his behavior.
"Seriously Jamal? Why not?" My heart was constricting painfully and breaking into tiny pieces. "Don't you like me?" I was getting anxious and overwhelmed with emotions. "Even a little bit?" I added in a whisper.
"Let me drive you home." He sighed dramatically to deflect from my questions.
"You know what? I'll go back inside with my friends. Take care, Jamal." I was so fed up with him and his games.
At some point, even I have to take a hint that he's not just that into me, so I went back inside the house. What made matters worse was that Jamal didn't try to stop me. My whole body was shaking badly when I entered the party house. Not wanting to face my friends in my emotional state, I escaped to the bathroom. I closed the toilet seat to sit on it. After a few breathing exercises, I was able to calm myself down. In hindsight, I regretted ever meeting Jamal at Chester's party. My life would have been boring without him, but still better than me being frustrated all the time and chasing after him for months. There was a persistent knock at the door which I ignored.
"Elli it's me, Chester. Open up." I cleaned myself up before opening the door.
"Hey," I said when I came face to face with Chester.
"Hey" He stepped inside the bathroom. "What's going on? You've been off lately"
"I'm fine" It pained me to lie to Chester. He's a good friend and has always been there for me.
"Just know that when you're ready to talk I'll be here." He promised. I went over and hugged him. My emotions were perfectly conveyed through that hug. To get over the asshole, I drunk so much that I don't even remember how I got home. The hangover the next day wasn't worth it though.
*****
Being alone all the time in my Penthouse was becoming unbearably lonely. I was running out of things to distract myself with. Slowly, I started moving back to my parent's home again. I kept sleeping over in my old room when I visited and later started staying over longer. Today was not any different when I decided to stay over at my Parent'. After we had dinner together, I went upstairs to my room to be alone till I heard a knock at my door.
"Come in!" I called out.
"Elli, can I join you?" My mum said, peeking her head through the door.
"Sure mum" She entered and laid beside me on the bed.
"You know you're always welcome here, right?" She asked as she turned to face me. I nodded yes. "Your father and I are always happy to have you here, but I have to ask is everything ok with you?" I could hear the worry laced in her voice.
"I know, mum. I'm having man trouble and I don't want to be alone." I whispered, and I felt my eyes welling up. What angered me was that I couldn't discuss my situation in details with anyone because I didn't want to give Jamal's identity away. I was afraid to get him in trouble with my family, especially my dad. I didn't want anything to happen to his career.
"It's always about a man, isn't it?" My mum smiled at me. "You can talk to me, and I promise I won't judge you!" My mum further assured me, and I contemplated her offer.
