I woke to a blaring headache and the feeling that something had died in my mouth. I cracked my grainy eyes open and shut them immediately. It’s too damn sunny in this fucking apartment, then I remembered and groaned. My apartment wasn’t sunny in the morning; it faced another building. I must have gone out last night.
I sat up, and groaned as a wave of nausea ran through me. I lunged off the bed and blindly followed the sound of running water. Thank God, I praised with my usual desperate religion when I found that the bathroom’s door was open, and within moments, my head was stuck in the toilet and I was puking my guts out. After ten minutes, I finally sat back on my heels, and grimaced, wiping my mouth.
I glanced around, and noticed that the shower was no longer running. On the sink there lay toothpaste and an unopened packet of toothbrushes. Ninety-nine cent toothbrushes that made me yearn for my own automatic, battery-run, state-of-the-art toothbrush that kept my teeth clean and gums healthy. However, beggars could not be choosers, and at least I wasn’t going home with vomit still swimming in my mouth after being kicked out of the apartment I woke up in.
I went back to the bedroom and climbed into my clothes. I could practically feel the collective grime on my body festering and creating maggots.
I walked down the hallway, wondering where the owner of the apartment was, when I heard the words, “Dave, sit.”
I looked to my right to see the kitchen, fully equipped with a table, shiny kitchenware, and a man with black, wavy hair that reached the nape of his neck, wearing black glasses, a white button down shirt on, blue slacks, grey socks, and a blue tie standing before an oven, cooking.
Damn, not again. Not another man.
There were two seats at the table, and I sat in one of them. Within seconds, he placed a plate with eggs, two strips of bacon, a glass of water and two pills in front of me.
After grimacing, wondering how I could eat with a queasy stomach, I tried the eggs and practically swallowed the pills and the whole meal dry. I sat back and noticed that my headache had receded and that the man hadn’t eaten. He had watched me do so, leaning back against the counter with his arms folded. When he saw that he had my attention, he walked forward, brushing against me as he moved the silverware out of the way, and pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the table, his legs dangling on either side of me, his ‘house guest.’
I swallowed. This man was very, very sexy, and as soon as the thought came into my head, I looked away, guilty.
I looked up again, and lost myself in grey eyes hidden behind lenses when I heard a soft, deep voice say, “I know it’s not my problem, and you probably don’t want to hear this, but I’m going to say it. You’re a closet case. It takes kegs of beers for you to even admit that you might be gay. You’re not even bi. I know because I’ve been watching you, and, believe it or not, I’ve liked what I’ve seen. But I’ve also seen the engagement ring you have on. I’m giving you an ultimatum, because I know who your fiancé is, and I really like her. So here it is; either you get your shit together and take your first baby steps out of that comforting closet of yours, or I tell her that you are attracted with people that have flat chests, short, spiky hair and dicks.”
I could only stare. This was . . . scary. He didn’t know this guy. Didn’t know his name. Had never seen him before, and here he was, dictating my life. I opened my mouth and said, “There’s no way in hell I’m gay.”
The man lifted an eyebrow. “Oh? People so drunk that they can’t muster the strength to cross their eyes don’t lie. You did things to me last night that you never would have done when you were sober, and guess what; you enjoyed every single minute of it just as much as I did,” with every word, he leaned closer, until our noses were almost touching.
“No,” I breathed, beginning to panic and flushing when I realized that my cock was pressing up against my jeans.
“Oh, yes. You’re hot in bed. With other men. I rather doubt that you were anywhere near is wild with another woman as you had been with me last night. Well,” he leaned back and I swallowed, “As I’ve said, I know and like your fiancé, and I know several men that would be just perfect for her. I also know some that would be perfect for you.” He looked away, and said, “One of them’s me,” he looked back, his gray eyes dark and piercing, “however, I don’t think you’ll like me much after this.”
The man leaned forward again and my breath hitched, but he pulled back almost immediately, holding up a business card. “Just in case you do.”
He dropped the card on the table, hopped off, and walked out of the kitchen. I listened hard, spellbound, and heard the man put on a jacket, or blazer, shoes, and open the door, calling, “But don’t take too long,” and the door closing.
I swallowed, eyes watered, and nearly lunged for the card.
Christopher Lejeune.
~*~*~
It was in Starbucks, a few blocks down from the building where I worked, where I told Josephine the news in front of her best friend, Arnie, a coworker. I didn’t really want to tell her in front of someone, but considering that this would really hurt her, I figured she would need someone to console her. Arnie, a man, was the girlfriend she never head. Her words, not mine. I sighed. Baby steps, get on with it.
“I love you, Josephine, I really do, however, there’s something that I want to tell you. But first, ah, never mind, I just have something to tell you and I beg you not to blow up in this very public place. Please, please, please.”
I couldn’t ask her about Christopher Lejeune. I still hadn’t been able to deal with it.
She blinked at me and gave a tentative, almost hopeful smile. “Let me guess, you cheated on me.”
“No!” I frowned. “Yes. Just, not with a woman.”
“Not with a woman? What’s that supposed to mean?”
I dreaded this part. I didn’t want to reveal himself as gay, but I said, “I think I might be gay,” nonetheless.
Out of the corner of my eye, Arnie’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my god! Then why are you dating me?”
I swallowed. “I couldn’t admit it.”
To my surprise, she nodded and smiled. “I understand. You know my brother, Cole? The one I told you about?” she waited for my nod before she continued, “Well, he’s gay. I needed to practically move heaven and hell to get him to admit it, but he did. Luckily, I did it right before he left for college. Unfortunately, his heart was broken several times there.”
Her smile faded, and she looked off into space for few minutes before refocusing on me, the man that was supposed to be marrying her in three months. “I understand, Dave, I really do, and while I don’t like that you led me on for so long, at least you didn’t realize it after we married.”
Okay, so maybe her heart wouldn’t be that broken.
“I love you, Josephine, I wasn’t lying about that. But, I love you as a sister.”
She smiled. “And I love you as one, too, Dave, and I am officially letting you free of our engagement. Wait, I’ll do that only on one condition.”
I smiled, knowing that it wouldn’t be anything bad, and nodded for her to go on.
“Well, the first is that you have to still be my friend, ‘cause you’re loads of fun to be around, and that, you’ll be just as understanding when I tell you my news.”
“What news?”
“Well, I don’t know how to say this. Cole actually talked to me about it, told me that I simply must tell you, and that everything will turn out all right in the end. I’m not really sure, I mean, you are . . . gay. And I respect that, I really do. I accept your sexual preference with open-”
“Josephine.”
“Yes?”
“What is it that you want to tell me?”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“What did you mean that you cheated on me, just not with women? Have you been sleeping around with men? Oh, well, duh, you’re gay, right? Okay, um, how’d you cheat on me?”
“Um, when I got really, really drunk, never the same man twice, and I’ve never seen any of them again.”
“Oh, okay then. Well, we have something in common.”
“What do we have in common?”
“I’ve also been fooling around with men. Only, it was really one man, and one cup of Sprite which isn’t alcoholic, generally, but I’m pretty sure it was spiked, if a just opened bottle can be spiked, and, I really like him, and I want to date him, but I thought that it was just wedding day jitters, and that I’d get over him, but I’d get hot whenever he looked at me, and he is really good in bed.” She ran out of steam and cast an apologetic glance at me.
Now Arnie stared at her.
I pursed his lips and nodded. “Well, it would be really inane for me to get angry at you.”
“I agree.”
“You might.”
“Of course.”
