It's not that I hate my husband, on the contrary.
He does annoy me sometimes. His inability to stand up for himself at work, at home.
However, when we're out and about, amongst our friends, shopping, or amongst strangers, he has the tendency to put me down.
We've discussed before that it aggravates me to no end. That he should be respectful to me at all times, and not belittle me to try to make himself seem cooler or more interesting.
Those conversations don't seem to matter. Time and time again he's done it. Time and time again I attempt to correct him.
My husband, Matt, is by no means a weak guy, but he's not big, either. He stands average, 5'10", with a small frame.
Matt is the love of my life, don't get me wrong, but the idea of putting him in his place has crossed my mind more than once.
The perfect opportunity just presented itself. I couldn't help myself.
One day, we were getting a couch delivered. Matt was being useless, per usual, as I was directing the two larger "gentlemen" in through the foyer. This is our fourth attempt at getting this couch delivered. Every time it's been one thing or another: the feet have been damaged, the fabric is damaged, they forgot to coat it properly... and every single time it has been me dealing with the consequences.
So when the two large men placed the couch down and I clasped my hands together with glee at a final success, I watched Matt as a grin splashed across his face. "We finally got it right, honey!"
We?
Excuse me? I scoffed.
"What?" He said, dumbfounded.
"Nothing." I glared him straight in the eye. "I just didn't realize you had anything to do with purchasing, arranging the movers, dealing with this company... had no idea! All this time, I thought it was me."
"Well, you know I appreciate everything you do, Lisa, but you should have gotten it right the first time... I mean, honestly."
I'd had enough. The two men were standing there awkwardly. "Can we get a signature please?"
These are the same two men that have delivered to us three times before. Each and every time, Matt has refused to tip him. Making some remark about how they're the ones who probably "fucked up" the order.
They are larger than him, no doubt. One stood at about 6'4 while the other about 6' tall. They weren't fat, just muscular. One was a little older, in his 40's, and the other was younger (but still older than us) in his mid thirties.
"Gentlemen," I said as they ogled my breasts. "Would you like a tip?"
"We certainly wouldn't say no," said the younger man smirking.
"What are your names?" I asked.
"I'm Jack" said the younger one, "and he's Steve."
"Great... now, I hope you're not opposed to this, but what I wanted to give you was both the opportunity to get your dicks sucked, would you be down with that?"
"uh..." Steve glanced at Jack.
Jack interrupted, "YES!"