The final chapter of Beach Trips, after Beach Trips & Road Head, Beach Trips & Sex On The Beach and Beach Trips & True Romance.
A burst of sunlight coupled with the sound of blinds being opened woke me suddenly. I sat up, aware of the smell of coffee and the sensation of nakedness. Chad sat on the edge of the bed, wearing a tank top, shorts and a huge grin.
"Hey, sleepy. I didn't know how you took your coffee so I brought some creamers and all three colors of sugar up from the service office."
"I like my coffee like I like my men, fizzy and with a doctorate degree."
The confused look on Chad's face made me laugh out loud.
"Sorry. I don't drink coffee. I drink Dr Pepper in the morning. I have a couple in the little fridge."
"Oh, thank God. I drink Mt Dew in the mornings. I just figured you seemed so sophisticated and all that so you must drink coffee in the morning. Isn't that what adults do?"
"Not this one. And I don't know how you got the idea that I was sophisticated."
"I dunno, I thought all gay guys knew about theatre and shit."
The temptation to start belting Memories or Music Of The Night was almost too strong to resist. Instead, I just shook my head.
"First of all, not every gay guy knows about theatre." I mean, I know a thing or two about musicals but that wasn't the point. "And I want you to stop thinking of me as a 'gay guy' and start thinking of me as Andy. I think we've spent too much time fucking around and not enough hanging around. Getting to know you." I couldn't resist. "Getting to know all about you. Do you even know what I do for a living? Because I don't know anything about you."
"Does someone's job really tell you anything about them? Aren't we more than that?"
Woah, Chad was getting deep this morning.
"Ok, then just tell me something true about yourself. Anything."
A faraway look filled Chad's eyes.
"When I was 13 I wanted so much to seem manly. Grown up, you know. I wrote in a dairy, which in retrospect isn't the most manly thing, but I always left it out in the open. I never locked it. It was full of half true or all made up events that I was hoping someone would read, thinking they were getting my secrets. Stuff like stealing my dad's car in the middle of the night and joyriding or I cut myself shaving this morning and didn't even feel it. I wasn't even shaving yet. Anyone would probably tell right away that it wasn't true, but I was hoping they'd read it and think 'what a cool guy, he does all these wild things when no one's around.'"
"What happened when they did read it?"
"That's the stupid thing, no one ever did."
"Do you still write in a diary?"
"No, I put everything on Facebook."
Chad laughed at his own joke and I couldn't resist the way his face lit up. I sat up to lean in for a kiss when I remembered I hadn't gotten up to pee or get dressed or anything yet.
"Hold that thought."
I dashed into the bathroom and relieved myself. After brushing my teeth I debated whether to bother with clothing. Morning sex is my favorite kind but I didn't want to come on too strong. Besides, didn't I just say we needed to spend more time getting to know each other in the non-biblical sense?
Determined to keep things PG-13 (for suggestive language and rude humor) I slipped into my swimming trunks, which had been laying on the floor since before my shower the night before.
Walking out of the bathroom, I was surprised by the sight of Robert and Chad sitting on the bed. I hadn't really paid attention to Robert's looks before. He was just a blur of annoyance in my mind. Sitting side by side, I could see the family resemblance but also spot the difference. Like those puzzles in Highlights magazine.
They had similar faces, but Robert's was thinner and his small mustache made it seem almost rat-like. Maybe I'm projecting. In fact Robert was thinner all together, not thick and solid like Chad. His hair was lighter and close cropped and I wondered if it curled when he it grew out. But they had the same eyes. Eyes that displayed every emotion felt like a film projector.
Chad's eyes held nervous excitement, but Robert's were annoyed. No, not annoyed. Pissed off. He saw me looking at him and tried to cover with a blank stare. I tried to remain nonchalant as I dug into my suitcase for a clean shirt.
"You boys have any plans today?" I asked in what I hoped was a disinterested tone.
"Just hitting the beach while the girls are going shopping." Robert squinted at me. "I guess you're going with them."
It wasn't a question as much as a statement. Or a command. I wondered how much Robert had guessed about what was going on between his brother and me. And if he had, maybe he could explain it to me.
***
Chad watched intently as Andy slipped into a shirt. He was glad he had taken a shower before he went down for the untouched coffee. He didn't know if Robert could sniff out what had happened the night before and he wasn't ready to have a conversation about it. He didn't even know how to put into words how he felt about Andy when he was with him, let alone explain it to someone else.
He'd never kept secrets from his brother before but he knew this would change everything. Robert rarely let a chance go by to rag on a "queer" or "sissy" and Chad wasn't ready to be the one he teased - or worse. He remembered his parents talking about Robert getting in trouble at school for beating up a gay kid. They didn't care what he had done as much as that he was getting suspension. Robert always said the kid started the fight and Chad never thought to question it before.
"Hey, space cadet. Earth to Chad."
Chad looked around and realized he'd let his mind wander.
"You ready to go? The special snowflake is taking a shower so we should head down to the beach before he decides to invite himself along."
A wave of disappointment washed over Chad. He didn't want to leave Andy behind but maybe a few hours with just his brother would clear his head. He was too caught up in the sexual rush he felt when Andy was around to parse his feelings properly.
They made their way through the sun-drenched streets and down to the water's edge. Robert seemed disappointed that there were very few bikini-clad ladies out but he quickly set his sights on one while Chad splashed around by himself.
The morning flew by and Chad came up out of the water to reapply sunscreen shortly before noon. He knew he waited too long but the water he'd felt so good and seemed to wash his worries away.
He flopped onto the towel and dug into his bag for his phone and the sunscreen. Robert sauntered over and sat next to him.
"Sometimes I wish Brenda had been the gay one instead of her brother. I could get her to join me and Michelle for a three-way. Not that Michelle has agreed to one either, but it would be easier to get her to agree to one with a friend. That's what the guys at work say, anyway. There is a girl over there who seemed very keen on the idea of a three-way but Michelle says she’s strictly dickly."
"Why are you talking to girls that aren't your girlfriend about three-ways?"
"A boy can dream. Plus, what do you know? You never had a girlfriend long enough to get to the 'let's talk about a three-way phase."
Chad laid back to soak up some sun. "I didn't know there was such a phase."
