Becoming Happy with Who I Am

After confirming that I am in fact gay I started to get somewhat comfortable with it but yet not to the point of coming totally out. Had I realized it when I was much younger I would guess it would have been easier but between family and the fact I was married and have 2 children (divorced when I was 32) I have a hard time with letting them know I am no longer interested in women but addicted to cock and cum.

So I lived my life as a double life you could say. I flirted with women and even went on a few dates from time to time just to make it look good but again no interest or intentions of having sex with the women I dated. A couple times a week I would either hit the adult store or one of the few cruising spots to get my fix of cock and cum and if others watched me sucking on getting fucked it was all the better as I found it really made having gay sex even hotter to me.

Then came the internet and some gay hook up sites and Craig's list. This opened a whole new line of meeting guys where we could meet at a public place or at their place or mine. I was cautious about meeting at private places for the first meet but if they seemed okay then we would arrange to meet at their place or mine. After some months of being on the internet I found that there were plenty of married men looking to get either sucked off or fuck an ass (mainly because their wives didn't like to suck or would not let their husbands fuck them in the ass) which made this a perfect scenario for my liking.

I would meet up with new guys who didn't have much time and were quick to pull their pants down and but a nut and go (personally I like being on my knees and undoing their pants and pulling them down in anticipation of seeing their cocks up close as pictures don't always do justice) There were a couple that would email me wanting to make arrangements to come over for quick blow jobs or piece of ass which I had a couple steady guys 2 or 3 times a week and was loving it.

Being my kids were going out on their own (yes I was a single parent which made it harder as I had to ensure they were staying with friends or out for a few hours) it started to become more frequent over the next couple years until they were both off to college. That's when things really started picking up and if I couldn't find a hook up on line I would head to the adult store or cruising spot and many times bring a guy home to spend the night.

My neighbor on the one side of me had lost his wife due to an illness about a year or so before and was in his mid 50's. He was about 6 foot tall and had a bit of a beer belly but not to out of shape and from what could tell wasn't very hairy with seeing him in the yard with his shirt off he had some hair on his chest but not too much and seemed the same on his legs. Any ways one day I was out washing my truck when Jim came over and said hello and we chatted a bit and I found out that he was 57 and just retired the past winter.

While we were chatting Jim said he had a question he wanted to ask but wasn't sure how to ask. And I told him "just ask" and with that he said he has seen men coming and going since my kids were off to college and was wondering if they were friends or lovers? I was a bit shocked at the question and stood silent for a few seconds before I could say anything Jim says "sorry I didn't mean to pry". I caught my composure and said "you shocked me as I didn't see that question coming."

I played it do a little and said some were friends and a few were lovers. Jim's eye's got real wide and said "I would never have guessed it without seeing the guys coming and going". I asked if he was uncomfortable with my life style and he again shocked me with "No as since his wife past away he really wasn't interested in dating but it's been over a year and he was getting tired of jerking off to the same olé porn and started checking out bi porno and started getting curious about sex with men".

I must have had a confused look on my face when I asked him what are you getting at Jim? He said was just curious about it and wanted to talk some more but had to run some errands. We agreed to meet in his back yard by his pool and he would grill some burgers and have a few drinks while we talked. I went over to his house about 5 that evening as I seen him outside firing up the grill.

We said hello and did some small chat about the day and his errands he ran as he handed me a beer. We started chatting while the grill heated up. So about 20 minutes into our conversation I could tell Jim was beating the bush so I helped him along and asked so what kind of questions do you have? With that Jim says he's been watching bi porno the past few months and was wondering what it would be like to be with a man. With that I asked how do you mean by being with a man?

Jim looked down at the ground and said he wondered how it would feel getting a blow job from a guy. We talked more as he had asked how I got into guys being I was a single parent and how polite my kids were over the years so at some point I was straight but when did I start. I explained it to him and it was just a few years ago that I tried women again but did not have pleasure or interest in them anymore but I keep it from my family and kids.

By this time I think we both drank about 8 beers each and getting a buzz. I told him I would get more beer from my house and left, then when I returned I noticed Jim had taken his shirt off ( has it was a humid night) I looked at him as he sat with his little beer belly hanging down and noticed he appeared to be semi hard or hard from the bulge in his shorts.

Buzzed kidding around I took off my shirt and at 5'7 and 150LBS I was somewhat fit and said might as well get comfortable in this heat. It was just dark enough I couldn't tell if he blushed or not but I did notice his bulge getting a little bigger. I waited a few seconds and asked if he was uncomfortable and he said no. I then asked if he wanted to see what it felt like being sucked by another guy. In his shaky voice said I think so. To put him at ease I said we can stop any time you want. With that he said nope I need to find out.

With that I moved closer to him and he placed a chair cushion on the ground and started to fumble with his shorts. I put my hands on his to stop him and said let me do that for you. He pulled his hands away and I undid his shorts and started pulling them down. Jim lifted his ass a little to help me remove his shorts and underwear, to my surprise when they cleared his pelvic and balls he was shaved smooth (which I love) I froze there looking at his cock and balls and he said does that bother you? I said no I love I it but when did you do that? Jim said the porno he'd been watching had many guys shaved or closely trimmed and he liked the look.

His cock was about 5 inches long and as thick as a half dollar. I started stroking it and I could see the head starting to get shinny from the moon light and reach down to lick his pre cum (which I love pre cum) and as I did Jim moaned a little. By this time he had grown to about 6 1/2 inches and got a little thicker. I started slowly sucking him in a little at a time and it seemed within 5 minutes he was about ready to explode so I would back off until he calmed down some.

With his moaning he was saying how good it felt and then he grabbed my head with both hands and started face fucking my mouth and I knew he was beyond the line and within a few more pumps he started cumming in my mouth and I could feel it hitting the back of my throat and he must have shot 4 or 5 streams before he started calming down and as I licked and sucked his cock clean he started shacking and forcefully pushed my mouth off his cock saying it was too sensitive.

I waited until he collected himself and I went back to sitting in the other lawn chair. When he seemed to be back to normal I asked him if he was okay and with that he downed the rest of his beer, looked at me and said he never got a blowjob like that in his whole life. I said thanks for the compliment and it was my pleasure. We talked over another beer and I was getting ready to say good night when Jim said " I don't think I could suck a cock but would you be interested in doing it again"? With that I said any time I'm home and you want a blowjob just come over as I enjoyed sucking his cock. He told me he would do that.

I went home that night and thought about Jim and found it was rather nice. I jerked off that night thinking about my neighbor and when I woke up the next day I had some coffee and took a shower. No plans for the day so was in no hurry to do anything. About 8:30 I hear a knock on the door and I yelled to come in. Jim walks into the kitchen and had a rather strange look on his face and I asked what's up Jim? He seemed a little nervous but stammered out about last night and he had a pretty good buzz going. I said no problem we can pretend it never happened and with that he said I just showered and sober so was wondering if your offer was real? I said it was and with that he said can we do it now to make sure it wasn't the beer that caused it?

I said sure and with that I walked over to Jim leaning against the counter and undid his shorts and dropped them to the floor but Jim was going commando this morning. I dropped to my knees and started jerking him as he leaned against the counter. I looked up at him and he was looking down and as I put his cock head into my mouth I kept eye contact with him until he closed his eyes and let out a moan. I slid my tongue under the underside of his cock as it grew in my mouth and swirling my tongue around as I bobbed my head up and down his shaft. I let off his cock and lifted it as I stroked it and started licking his balls which made him jump a little but moaning at the same time. I licked his hairless balls and slide my tongue as far past his taint as I could which made him shiver and stayed there for a bit then back to his balls then back to sucking him.

He put his hands on my head again and started humping my mouth but not as hard as the night before. Within a few minutes he was shooting another load but his last squirt he pulled out and it shot on my face and chin. I went back to sucking the remaining cum from his cock and licked him clean. At this time he said he had to sit down. Once he sat he looks over at me while I'm still on my knees and says that w even better ten last night and thanked me.

We had a couple of coffee and chatted a bit and then he asked me if I was a top or bottom (which shocked me) I said I am a bottom as most guys are bigger than me in both stature and in the package department (s I am 5 1/2 inches and on the thin side of average) Jim looked at me and told me his wife never let him fuck her ass. I looked at him and said are you asking if I would let you fuck me? Jim turned beat red and a bit of silence then he looked at me and said not today but some time down the line. With a smile I told Jim I love cock and sucking and getting fucked so when he was ready I would let him.