Begrudgingly Yours

The silence that fell over the room was deafening. For a moment, albeit, a brief moment, I feared that I had revealed too much. My stomach twisted in knots and I began to sob harder. Would Jai blame me? Would Liam? Were they angry at me for running and bringing this trouble to their quiet village?

Shame, guilt, and fear clouded my thoughts as I sat in silent judgement of myself. When Liam stood up, jaw clenched and hands balled up into fists at his sides, I realized that he was angry. He was furious. Just not at me.

"Liam?" Jai looked at his mate. He was still holding me. His arms tightened around me as I sobbed, one hand rubbing slow, soothing circles between my shoulder blades.

Liam glanced up, locking eyes with Jai, then he gently jerked his head toward the door. Jai nodded, some silent kind of communication passing between them.

"Ash, honey, just wait here for a minute, Okay?" I nodded and Jai slipped out of the chair we'd been sharing. I understood at once. Whatever they were about to discuss, they didn't want to me to hear. Jai walked to Liam and the two of them left the sitting room, leaving me alone, sitting beside the fire.

Jai should have known. He was half vampire after-all. Stepping out and into the hall just beyond the sitting room wasn't far enough that I couldn't hear them. Especially when the door failed to latch properly, leaving about a two inch gap. Even with the door closed I would have heard them. Vampire's have exceptional hearing.

"We can't keep him hidden up here forever." Liam said, his voice low, almost a whisper. "They'll come for him eventually."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Jai confessed. He was trying to keep his voice low as well but I could hear the unsteadiness in his tone, and the way his voice cracked as he spoke. He was scared, and it showed. "Liam, we can't let them take him back."

I could hear Liam sigh, frustrated. "Jai, I don't want that anymore than you do but I also can't put the Pride in danger."

"It won't come to that." Jai tried to assure him. "There are protocols to follow, rules that have to be observed, especially when entering another's territory. Trust me, the council doesn't want to start a conflict. They'll ask you to return him before taking any other action."

"And if I refuse?"

Jai paused. I waited, listening closely. Maybe he didn't know the answer, but I did. They'd obey the rules of chivalry, at first. If Liam refused their request though, they'd send the magistrate himself and he would demand my surrender. Failing to comply with his demands would be viewed as an act of hostility that could, eventually, lead to an all out war.

I was about to interrupt them, ready to give myself up if it meant protecting my brother and the life he'd made for himself when Jai suddenly said something I hadn't expected. Something I honestly hadn't even thought of.

"Don't refuse." He told Liam. "You can't do that. Not unless you want a fight on your hands. Instead, offer Ash sanctuary. You'll have to petition the council but they wouldn't be able to remove him from our lands unless the petition is denied. That would at least buy us some time."

Liam was pacing. I could hear his shoes dragging across the carpet, the weight of each step heavy as he considered Jai's advice.

"So, sanctuary. What exactly does that entail?" Jai let out a shaky breath. "I'm not one hundred percent sure of the details. It's been so long since I've studied any of this and I was never a very good student."

"You stand before the council and plead my case." They both turned to look at me. Listening to Jai struggle was more than I could bear. I stood in the, now open, doorway, wringing my hands nervously as my mind went over the hours and hours of laws, procedures, and protocols I'd been forced to learn. "You'd act my advocate, speaking on my behalf."

"So, we explain to the council what really happened? If they knew all the facts, if they understood why..."

I shook my head. "They don't care about the truth, or facts. According to the law, I'm already guilty. This is about punishment now, not proving my innocence."

Liam's brow furrowed. "But that doesn't make any sense. You were just defending yourself. Niklas is the one who committed a crime."

"In our eyes, yes." Jai stated, bitterly. "But in their eyes, Niklas was asserting his right. Ash was promised to him. They'll see it as a lover's quarrel and probably blame Ash for refusing to obey his alpha."

Liam narrowed his eyes. "You make it seem like he's a possession rather than a person."

"Under vampire law," Jai said, his voice hoarse, "He is a possession. Niklas owns him."

I flinched at his words but Jai was correct, my rights were limited.

"That's a load of shit." Liam huffed angrily, once again pacing back and forth like a caged animal. "How can vampires be so..."

"Chauvinistic? Narrow minded?" I raised an eyebrow. "Not all covens agree with such antiquated views but the council is made up of elders. Vampires who are hundreds of years old and their ideals haven't changed in the centuries since they were first written. Once, these laws were put in place to protect omegas but anymore, they exit to subjugate us."

"It's one of the reasons I left." Jai explained. "An omega's life is not their own. If unmated they're, we're, the property of our alpha father or in some cases, the head of the family. Usually the oldest living alpha relative. Once mated, we become the property of our mate."

I smirked. "Technically, Liam, you own Jai."

Liam frowned. "I don't own anyone." He said. "In this Pride, he's my equal."

"But, if you really plan to petition the council for sanctuary, you can't think that way. Essentially, you'll be claiming ownership of me."

"I can't do that." Liam said, stepping toward me. "I'm not going to claim another person as property."

"You will if you want the council to take you seriously and grant your request." I told him. "It's your right, under vampire law. As the leader of your Pride you have the authority to grant protection to someone accused of a crime--as long as they haven't been sentenced yet. You can request that the council grant sanctuary and if they agree, I become an unofficial member of your tribe, under your protection, and subject to your laws."

"But, it comes with a price." Jai stepped to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder, his expression somber.

"What price?" Liam asked, concern etched across his handsome features.

I exhaled a shaky breath and gave Jai a look of sympathy. He knew the gravity of what we were planning. He knew the cost. It was the price he'd had to pay for the life he had now.

"I'd become an Apostate, an outcast. It's like being shunned. I'd have to turn my back on my family, my coven, and forsake my bloodline, forever."

"Forever?" Liam's eyes widened. I nodded.

"Like Jai, I could never return. I'd have no voice, no rights, and no family. I'd be dead to the vampire community, a lost soul."

"You still have a family." Jai said, pulling me into a tight embrace. "You have us."

Liam nodded. "You'll always have a place here, Ash. But to leave behind your coven, your heritage...are your sure you want to do this? Because, once it's done, it can't be undone. You can never go back."

I shrugged." What choice do I have?"

Death was the only choice. I couldn't say it out loud but I knew, it was my only choice. One way or another I was going to die. Symbolically or by my own hand. But one thing was certain. I could never go home again. My life as a vampire was officially at an end. I was about to pass into the realm of shadows.

"What do I have to do?" Liam asked, looking between Jai and I for instruction.

"You'll have to speak to my father." I answered. "And formally request the right to stand for me and become my guardian. You'll take on the role of my King, my Alpha, and my father. I'll become your responsibility."

"Alright." Liam nodded, taking it all in. "Tell me how to get in touch with him. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. No mistakes."

Jai met Liam's eyes and I saw a flicker of gratitude pass between them. Jai and I had been estranged for nearly ten years but he was still my brother, my champion, and I loved him. "We need to move fast." Jai told us. "The longer we wait, the more chance Ash has of being discovered. The magistrate can order his arrest at anytime. He'll only be safe once you've officially requested sanctuary."

"I'll contact Gerard now." Liam said. "There's no point in waiting and I really don't want the royal vampire guard showing up on my doorstep."

I laughed at that. "This isn't the middle ages. Honestly, the magistrate would probably send the local sheriff and a couple of officers."

"Still, that's three more vampires than I need." Liam said.

I tried not to look offended by his words but they stung. I hung my head in shame, my eyes focused on the carpet beneath my feet. It's no wonder Jai hadn't told Liam the truth. Our worlds, they didn't belong together and I was suddenly wondering how this was even going to work. I wouldn't be an actual member of Liam's Pride. Not the way that Jai was. I'd be more like Liam's ward. Under his protection but still an outsider. Would his Pride even accept me?

Liam looked at me and pressed his lips in straight line. "I didn't...that wasn't directed at you, Ash."

"I know." I tried to smile but it was forced. "And, I understand. This is new for you. And for your Pride. I know it's going to take time. I expect a degree of prejudice. Vampires aren't always portrayed in the best light and there's good reason for that, unfortunately. It certainly doesn't help that we've kept ourselves isolated from other species."

"I'm not prejudice." Liam told me, "and I don't hate vampires. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. It's just that we know so little about your kind. Vampire's have always had this air of mystery surrounding them. And, you're right, the isolation doesn't help. But maybe with you and Jai being a part of the Pride, it could help open relations between our two species."

"That would be nice." I said, trying to sound optimistic though knowing it was unlikely. Leaving my coven wouldn't help to open any doors between us. Quite the opposite actually. If the council allowed Liam to give me sanctuary in the Belle Village Pride, the door to the vampire world would be, for me anyway, closed forever.

***

Family. The word could mean different things for different people. It was something you were typically born into but it didn't always have to be. Family was more than blood, it was more than something physical. Jai found his true family with Liam's pride and they accepted him, even though he hadn't been born into the pride. The family he was born into, the one with whom he shared blood, had rejected him and all because he refused to be what they wanted. Because he refused to suppress his shifter side, to live only as a vampire, and forsake his true nature.

Liam would never ask that of him and Jai would have known that if he'd been honest with his mate. He was scared though, believing he had to be either a shifter or a vampire. One or the other but not both. Liam forgave him almost immediately but still, he had questions. My arrival had opened Liam and his pride up to a world that had, until now, remained a mystery to them. It would take time and patience on both ends. We all had a lot to learn about each other. I knew as much about shifters as Liam did about vampires but I was learning, slowly.

For example, I learned exactly what a real family was like and how the members of a family supported each other. I had grown up in a coven, surrounded by my own kind, but it had never truly been a family. One major difference I discovered was just how close knit the shifter community was. Most of Liam's immediate family lived with he and Jai in the mansion that over looked Belle Village. Any of them could leave, buy their own homes and live apart while still remaining part of the pride but most preferred to remain in the mansion which had been in Liam's family for generations. Lion-shifters, I was to find, were very social creatures and had an almost pack-like mentality.

Essentially that's what a pride was. It was typically led by a bonded pair. Anyone could challenge the pride leader for control of the pride but that was rare if the leader was kind and fair and the members of his pride respected him. There were challenges over territory that usually ended with a one on one challenge between pride leaders with the weaker of the two being driven off. These challenges rarely ended in death. Honor challenges were another common thing, just like in wolf packs, and could be over just about anything. An insult to a mate or other member of the family, theft, adultery, you name it. Two or more shifters would fight and the losers typically had to pay some sort of compensation, make a public apology, or in more serious cases, they would be exiled. Again, these rarely ended in death though it has happened in the past.

That was another difference between shifters and vampires. While the pride leader could and usually would oversee a challenge, it was usually only between the two parties with the grievance. Once the challenge was completed and the victor named, the matter would be solved. Case closed, and everyone moved on with their lives. Disputes between vampires were usually taken to the King and he would decide the proper course of action. Crimes were handled by the magistrate and more serious crimes were taken to the council of elders. Punishment would be given and the sentencing carried out swiftly and without mercy. There were no appeals, and trials were quick and to the point. Evidence was shown and the council decided guilt or innocence. Their decisions were rarely ever disputed or over turned and the punishments were always brutal.

Learning how Liam's pride operated made me realize just how cold and emotionless my upbringing had actually been. I knew my father loved me, he cared about me and did his best to protect me but he didn't often show his emotions. Centuries of loss, watching those around him die, or leave had caused my father to close his heart, become stoned face and emotionless. In his long life he had buried five mates, and countless children. Two of his wives had left him and taken new mates, and he'd had one mate executed. That was another difference between shifters and vampires. Shifters tended to mate for life. Vampires, with the exception of omegas, did not. It wasn't uncommon for an alpha to sire multiple children with multiple partners, though more rare to go outside of their own species.

It had caused quite a stir in the vampire community when my father had taken Jai's mother, a lion shifter, as his mate. She had never really been accepted though they had tried to make it work. When Jai was only five years old, his mother had fallen into a deep depression and taken her own life. Two years later my father had taken another mate, a female vampire, my mother. She had died giving birth to me. His current mate was a vampire named Meredith. She had never been unkind to me, father would never have allowed that, but she didn't particularly care about me either. For the most part she was indifferent and tried to pretend like I didn't exist.

Not having a mother growing up, I was raised by a series of nannies, governesses, and tutors. None of them were kept around for long. My father didn't want me to grow attached to any of them. I was never allowed to form bonds, or friendships. Never allowed to care. I think he was trying to protect me, save me from the pain of losing someone close to me, so he made sure I never got close to anyone. While I never had to mourn the death of a loved one or watch a close friend move away, growing up so sheltered and isolated left me feeling empty and alone. Jai was the only person I'd ever been allowed to love and then one day, he too was gone. I had no one to confide in, no one to comfort me, and no one left to love.

I couldn't close myself off as my father had done. I'm an omega. We're built to love, to care, to nurture. I'm not sure my father ever understood that. He tried to make me like him but it would never have worked out that way. I wanted to love someone and I wanted someone to love me. I craved affection and attention. I wanted romance, I wanted the fairy tale. I wanted to believe that I could have that with Niklas but he turned out to be the villian and not my Prince Charming. Now, I was starting to believe that Prince charming didn't exist and I'd never have my happily ever after. Sleeping Beauty had it easy. She slept her hundred years away, unaware of what she was missing out on.

***

I had given Liam the number to my father's private extension and then told him exactly how to introduce himself and what to say. He had to be quick, assertive, and clear. He had to make his intentions known before my father had a chance to speak.

"Tell him who you are." I instructed. "Your name, title, name of your Pride and your lineage. You're not just the leader of the Pride, you're their chief. Make it sound official. Vampire's respect titles that sound official. This isn't the time to be casual. You need to be firm, confident, and demanding, but not over-bearing. You want to show respect but don't appear weak. Any sign of weakness and he'll shut you down."

"I'm not weak." Liam grumbled, narrowing his eyes. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

"Never." I assured him. "But kind isn't what you need to be when speaking to the Vampire King. He's arrogant. But he's also smart. He'll push your buttons and test your patience. He'll try to talk down to you. In his eyes, you're a clan leader and clan leaders are beneath him. Show him that you're not."

"And initially address him as 'Your Majesty,' to show proper respect." Jai added. "After that, Sir is fine."

"Yeah, no need to use honorifics like highness, or sire. Those terms are outdated."

"Got it." Liam rubbed the palms of his hands against his thighs, a nervous tell he probably wasn't even aware of. His mouth tightened into a thin line, as a look of pure determination settled on his face. "I say my name, my title, my Pride, and my lineage. I speak clearly, don't pause, and make the request for sanctuary before he can interrupt me."

"Exactly." I nodded, feeling my heart race with anticipation. We were really going to do this. "Once you state your intention, don't let him divert you. He'll try, believe me. He'll demand you return me. He'll probably throw politics at you, call your authority into question. Just let it roll off. Keep the conversation on track. After you make the request you'll need to set up a meeting with him face to face before you can go before the council. Things will move fast. The council is already on the way. They may already be in the city."

Jai crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, watching us with a tight expression. "If he tries to delay or denies your request, push harder. Remind him that under the treaty of Der Nacht, Kindred refugees--"

"sanctuary seekers," I corrected automatically.

"--are guaranteed a hearing before the council within seven days of a formal request." Jai finished without missing a beat. "Even the King can't override that without good reason, which he doesn't have. Ash was accused but hasn't stood trial yet or been sentenced, so the treaty still applies."

Liam looked between us, impressed with our shared knowledge. "How do the two of you know all this?"

"It's required." Jai explained. "As omegas, we could never rule but it would have been our duty to stand beside our future mates, advise them, and make sure they didn't make asses of themselves at court. That's why we had been taught how to rule, just as an alpha would."