Behind the Scenes

Author's note:

Hey guys, and girls? I just wanted to say thanks for reading this story. I'm very happy with the reviews and scores it's gotten. It's nice to know that you guys like it!

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

I'll update as often as I can.

Enjoy;)

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Leo's POV:

...'Yes, soon! Bye!'

And then he ended the call. What did I say? We had such a nice and deep conversation and then his demeanor changed completely and he looked very uncomfortable.

Maybe I said something wrong. Was I being too obvious? I'd tried

so

hard not to put my feelings on display, I might have overdone it.

I just wanted to help him so badly, he seemed really troubled when I called him, like he had something to say, but couldn't. Or

wouldn't

. I don't want him to worry about anything, I like his smile way better than when he's frowning.

I just hope I didn't screw it up. Eventhough he's straight and I would never have a chance with him, I didn't want to lose him as a friend. Good friends aren't easy to come by, and I feel like I just found a very special one.

Connor was

amazing

. Everything about him, I liked. Even things that I wouldn't like with other people, I liked them with him. For example, when people just stare at you when you're talking without reacting to what you say and just zoning out when you're telling them a story and they just look at you like they're thinking about something else.

Con does that.

He actually does that

a lot

. But I don't mind, he looks cute when he's thinking about something. Maybe he's thinking about me...

I really shouldn't get my hopes up though. He has a girlfriend, which means he's not gay, and that's final. Although I couldn't help but feel a little happy knowing he's planning on breaking up with her. And why shouldn't I? She's cheating on him. He deserves so much more than that.

He deserves someone who appreciates him, who listens to him and actually cares about him. Someone who loves him. Someone like me, right? Nope, bad thoughts. Get out. I have to stop thinking about him in a romantic way, and start being his friend.

God knows he could use one.

He's got more than enough to deal with, without having a crazy fanboy crushing all over him. I need to get my head out of the clouds.

I closed my laptop and lay flat on my back on the bedsheets. A nap wasn't going to help me here. I'd probably end up dreaming about Connor and wake up with a massive wet spot in my underwear. So I got up again and dragged myself to my wardrobe to get a pair of running shorts and a training shirt. I stripped off my jeans and sweater and put on my workout gear. I dumped a towel and some clean clothes into my gym bag. Finally I plopped my feet into a pair of black sneakers, took a banana and a protein shake and went out the door.

I jumped on my bike and paddled away towards the gym. It was pretty rainy in Amsterdam so I had a raincoat on over my gym attire. I made a quick stop at Starbucks to get a black coffee and not five minutes later I arrived at the place I both hate and love.

No, I don't particularly like working out. Waving dumbbells around, pulling myself up on a pull-bar and doing deadlifts to get a map of muscles on my back and a tight butt in my shorts are definitely not my favorite activities in the world. But consistency is key and the guy staring back at you in the mirror does look like a real snack if you keep it up, so I drag myself to this place four times a week.

I had just finished my ab excersises and picked up a pair of 20s for my bicep curls when I heard a voice beside me.

'Hey stud, how's it hanging?'

I couldn't quite place who it was, but I felt a shiver crawl up my spine. When I turned around I knew why.

'Piss off Jeff, I'm not in the mood.'

'You're not? That's a shame, I was hoping for a wrestling match after my workout.' A wink and a smirk. Entitled douchebag.

He was hot though.

I sighed in exasparation.

'Just leave me alone. I want to finish my workout and get out of here.'

'We'll see about that baby.'

Jeffrey Johnson. An old classmate of mine. Typically always one step ahead of me with everything. Where I got an A he got an A+, I got a blowjob from the cutest girl in school and the day after I heard that he'd fucked her last week. I got picked first in PE, he got to be the one to pick. I scored twice during our football matches, he scored the winning goal.

And if all that wasn't enough, he was a complete stud. Perfectly sculpted chocolate brown hair, an angular face with perfect bone-structure carved by angels, and perfect deep brown eyes. Of course his Herculesian body was a little step ahead of my own Spiderman-esque frame as well.

There were only two things in which I bested him.

The first was the fact that I came out of the closet before the final summer-break after highschool graduation. He came out

after

the holidays when he'd watched me and saw that coming out in front of the whole footballteam wasn't as bad as he'd thought.

The second thing I'm, (regrettably so) even more proud of. Although I'm less proud of the situation in which I found out about this little 1up I had on him.

I have 4.5cm on him in dicksize.

I've known Jeffrey ever since kindergarten. We were the definition of what you'd call

frenemies.

So naturally, after we came out as gay and had nothing to hide, we had the urge to best each other in... Well sex. Even if it was just to make sure all the girls hadn't lied about our sexdrive and our moves in bed. Two horny 18 year-olds with a love/hate relationship who'd both just figured out they would rather eat dick than pussy.

The months after that were hot, steamy, unholy, rough, shocking, loud and downright shameful. But in the end we decided we had finally found something that we were equally good at.

It seems though, that I do surpass him in the desire to become a little more serious in terms of who I fuck around with. And I couldn't see that kind of a future with Jeff.

He

doesn't really see it that way. Which shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did.

'Come on L, when could you ever resist a chance to best me?'

That was another thing. In all the sexual escapades we've had together Jeff always ended up being the bottom. At first I thought I just won our naked wrestling matches, but after having won seven in a row I realised he enjoyed being dominated by me.

Figures.

The guy likes being bested after all. Then again, everyone has their own sexual fantasies. His was just very surprising, and very obvious at the same time.

That does mean that to this day, I still have a virgin ass. I had an idea about who could change that, though.

'I don't have such a hard time resisting you as you have with me. How come you always corner me in the gym?'

'Cause I'm always in the gym.' He cocked an eyebrow at me and flexed his biceps for emphasis.

Shit, of course. He's a personal trainer. What the fuck else?

'Put the guns down, showoff. I'm trying hard here.' I snapped at him and started my curls.

'Yeah I can see that. Your form is off though.' Another smirk appeared on his plump pink lips. I was aware of my form being off. That happens when I'm irritated.

'Fuck off, J. Don't you have some scrawny kid to demotivate?'

'Hey! You know damn well I comfort them afterwards.'

I couldn't help but laugh. 'I know damn well you

fuck

them afterwards. Seriously, how are you still working here?'

'Because one way or another, I make sure the customer is always satisfied.' He winked.

'I'm sure they are. So you've finally been moving on from me then?' I asked him.

'Yes and no. I mean, I've been trying to put my competitive mind to rest a little by going on Grindr and lowering my standards. And I'm perfectly happy fucking someone and never seeing them again. But, I have yet to find one that actually makes me a moaning and writhing mess like you can, babe.' I felt his hands on my shoulders, lightly massaging them. 'Wanna put the dumbbells down and do another workout? I am a personal trainer after all.' I considered it for a moment.

I

did

come here to forget about a guy I can't have.

Fuck...

'Wait for me at the bar.' I told him curtly. I caught his smug and satisfied expression in the mirror. He slid his hands down my back and squeezed my butt before he started to turn around.

'That doesn't mean this is going to happen, Jeff. I'm not sure yet.' I made eye-contact with him and put on a stern face. He just smiled and shrugged before walking towards the bar area.

Okay, this gave me some time to at least finish my workout. Without any distraction.

I don't have any trouble with PDA but Jeffrey had a tendency to go too far. I mean, two guys holding hands, hugging or even kissing shouldn't be a problem. But you don't see straight couples dry-humping and fiercely making out with each other in the streets without thinking they're acting uncivilized either, right? There have to be some boundaries.

Jeff didn't see it that way.

I finished up my curls and made my way to the bench-press. One of the only things I actually kind of liked. I loaded up the barbell with one kg more than last week and layed down. Then I started to lift.

To be fair, despite all the shit and the clingyness Jeffrey had displayed the last couple of months since I returned to Amsterdam, I did owe him in a way. We owed each other.

I came out, yes, but I was still rather nervous about putting my words into action at that point. When Jeff came out we naturally gravitated towards each other and the enemy part became smaller than the friend part.

There are not nearly as many gay guys around here as people think, although we're very well accepted with the equal rights stuff. We're a minority. Nothing wrong with it. But being a minority, wether people treat you right or not, still feels lonely sometimes. And Jeffrey made me feel less alone.

We acted as a couple, most of the time we didn't even notice. People asked us if we were in a relationship all the time but we didn't feel like that at all. And it was alright.

When I moved to London for my studies two years later we didn't have a more emotional goodbye than any other friends I had. We were just, okay.

We were the definition of fuckbuddies. And it worked for us. We got to explore our new lifestyle in a very nice and safe enviroment. Together. That will always be a little special to the both of us I'm sure.

Only Jeffrey hadn't grown up the same way I had in London. I was more serious now and Jeff was still looking for a fuckbuddy from the moment I had left, so he had apparently been app-fucking.

I stood up from the bench-press after pushing out 3 sets of 12 and finished the rest of my workout. About half an hour later I was done and made my way towards the bar. Jeff was already grinning from ear to ear when he saw me coming towards him.

'

Damn

I missed seeing you work out. I gotta say, you smell great.' He pulled out a stool for me to sit next to him.

'What is it with you and the scent of a sweaty guy?' I looked at him quizically. Jeff sucked on his bottom lip which distracted me a little.

'Hmm, I don't really know actually. I've always had sort of a kink for it. I think it has something to do with pheromones or some shit like that. It just gives me a massive hard-on.' Jeff explained. Sort of.

'An average hard-on if I remember correctly.' I couldn't repress a smirk.

'Fuck you, asshole.' Jeff chuckled. Then a considerate look came over his face. 'Come to think of it, I don't remember much of it. Care to refresh my memory, stud?' A wink and a devillish grin. I felt a small rush throughout my body and my cock stiffened a little.

He knew me too well, and he knew exactly how to press my buttons and when to push which. Besides, every guy is horny after a workout.

But Connor swerved through my mind. It didn't feel... right? To get with Jeff again after I met Con. However, that's exactly the little grain of hope I that I came to get rid of in the gym...

How about Jeff? I still wanted something serious. What did he want? What was I supposed to think? This was the first time I saw him since I returned from England and it was as if he'd been waiting for me for two years only to continue our FWB situation. Why hadn't he moved on?

'Jeff, before we make a mistake I need to tell you something.' I looked at him seriously. 'And ask you something as well.' He smiled. A different kind of smile than before. One that showed me he was serious.

'Fire away Leo.' He stopped eye-fucking my body and caught my gaze. I thought about how I could phrase it best. After a few moments I decided to just go with it.

'Look Jeff, I don't want to give you the wrong impression if we end up... well, having sex. Because I'm not really searching for a fuckbuddy. I want something more.' In my haste of spewing those words I saw Jeff's face becoming about ten shades paler. So I stopped. 'Jeff? Are you okay?'

'I uh-' He coughed and smacked himself in the chest. 'I, uhm Leo, look... what.. are you like, in love with me or something?' He actually looked scared. Not even nervous, just terrified. Which made me feel kind of insulted. But I couldn't help but laugh at the frightened look in his eyes.

'Would it be

that

bad if I was?' I asked him.

'No! N-no not at all. It's just, I'm not really in the same place. I mean, I like you a lot. But.. weirdly, I kind of value our friendship as it is. And I uh..' He diverted his eyes then, looking down at his iced green tea.

'What? What is it?'

'Well.. it's just, I sort have a crush on someone.' I saw that it was difficult for him to admit that to me.

'That's great! Who's the lucky guy?' I was really curious now and frankly, rather relieved that I had read the situation wrong. Jeff wasn't into me. And he

had

grown up. At least a little.

'I don't wanna say.' He meant that. He wasn't ready. It looked like he had only just admitted it to himself.

'You don't have to Jeff, it's okay. I'm ready when you are.' I grabbed his shoulder. Big, strong and warm. The situation in my pants developed further. And the little shift that Jeffrey did implied that he too had something going on.

'I have a crush too you know.' I tried to comfort him. 'I know it can suck. But don't be discouraged. Mine's a straight guy.' Jeffrey met my eyes and the look he gave me said enough.

'Fuck... that sucks Jeff, I'm sorry. How long has it been going on?' Jeff sat up straight again and turned to me on his stool, leaning one of his muscular arms on the bar.

'It started around the time you left, actually. I've known him for a pretty long time, but when you left it was like

really

saw him for the first time.' Jeff poured it out. Completely out of character, but we all need to get something of our chest sometimes. His

big

chest. 'Finding out I'm gay was one thing, but finding out I could actually

crush

on a guy? Fuck, why do you think I downloaded Grindr? I slept with at least 30 guys to try to forget him. It's like there's always this tiny drop of hope that remains and tells me I can

get him.

It won't go away.' Jeff was frustrated. And confused. And couldn't think straight. And I knew exactly how that felt.

'Jesus Jeff, what are the fucking chances of the both of us falling for a straight guy? I know it sucks man, I'm sorry.' I grabbed his hand that was laying on the bar. 'We're just going to have to... I don't know, just deal with it I think. What can we do?' It was a sincere question, because even then, I could imagine Connor's cute face and his voice saying my name. Then I felt Jeff squeezing my hand.

I looked up to him to find him smiling, one eyebrow raised. 'I slept with over 30 guys,' he started in a suggestive tone. 'And they couldn't help me forget. I think there's just

one

guy who can help me do that.' His hand slid across the back of my hand, slowly up my arm. Everything Jeffrey said and implied made perfect sense. My dick grew faster and faster to the point that my shorts became pretty uncomfortable. When Jeffrey locked eyes with me and I saw him lick his lips I was already a goner.

But I still asked him, 'You think we should help each other? Like old times?' I swallowed. Saying that made me think of old times and I quickly checked if I hadn't burned a hole in my shorts.

'I've been fucking craving for old times Leo.'

I all but jumped off of my stool and pulled Jeffrey off of his and dragged him towards the showers before I could smash him on the floor right there and fuck him senseless in front of all the other gym-goers.

I rushed down the hall with all the lockers and wanted to turn towards the showers, but Jeffrey pulled me along with him down a small corridor. Before he shoved me against the wall and crashed his lips into mine he shut a door and locked it behind us. I could read the words "

staff only"

and my ability to read anything else vanished when Jeffrey's tongue forced my lips open and kissed me like I hadn't been kissed in two years. My own tongue battled his as our hands feverishly roamed over each others bodies.

All my pent up sexual frustration exploded inbetween us. I wanted every centimeter of Jeffrey's body on mine. We grabbed, rubbed, tickled and squeezed each other everywhere. Our mouths let out an array of moans and groans and whimpers at every touch.

I sucked loudly on Jeffrey's lip, I remembered he liked that and he yelped in pleasure. I remembered something he liked even more so I bit down on his tongue and pulled his hair with one hand. My other hand slapped and squeezed his amazing ass.

Damn

he had become even bigger and sexier than before. The needy sounds he made filled me with a primal feeling of pride and horniness.

I massaged his ass with both my hands and ground our leaking erections together. I groaned loudly into his mouth. 'Holy

fuck.

I m-missed y-you, Jeff.'

'Shut the fuck up!' He devoured my mouth and humped me as I pulled him into me. '

Hnngg,

take your fucking shirt off.' He moaned. I grabbed the hem of my shirt, but apparently I was too slow for Jeffrey. His big strong hands grabbed the collar and tore it in half in one motion. I couldn't care less. He then proceeded to tear of his own shirt as well.

'Holy

fucking

shit, Jeff.' Connor was beautiful, but I didn't lie when I said that Jeffrey has the body of an actual Greek god.

'Holy fucking shit yourself, stud.' He smirked that sexy smirk of his and grabbed my head to suck my face again. Our sweaty bodies slid against each other causing our nipples to rub together.

I bit on Jeffreys lower lip and pushed myself off the wall to pin him against it. Jeff was about 10cm taller and 20 cm wider than me which was a big turn on. I lifted his legs and he locked them around my hips. I ground my burning cock against Jeff's incredible ass while his dick rubbed against my stomach. I latched my lips onto his neck, just behind his jawline and a whining sound escaped his lips.

'Ahh

shit!

You r-remembered, huh?' Jeffrey chuckled. It turned into a moan when I bit down again.

'Yes I did.' I sucked on his pleasure spot and Jeff clung to me like a madman. 'What do

you

remember?' He chuckled when I asked that.

Jeffrey disentangled himself from me and I groaned at the loss of contact. Jeffrey gave me a mindblowing kiss, trailing his hands down my body and pushing me against the wall again. While his tongue was making me lose my mind, his hands rubbed and tweaked my nipples, making me moan into his mouth.

Jeffrey's hands rubbed lower, and lower. Slowly until he reached the top of my shorts. He then kissed me hard one last time and stuck out his tongue. He licked one long trail from my chin to my nipples, my abs and my belly-button, his eyes never left mine.