There was a knock on my door. I stood up and went to get it. On the other side of it was an old friend, back in town. "What's up big man?" Jeff said to me.
"Welcome back little man," I said in reply. Jeff laughed. Our 'big man/little man' joke goes back to when we started growing into our teens. Or rather, I started growing and he stopped. I hit 6'6 in height while Jeff petered out around 5'7. So I've almost got a foot of height on my bud.
I'm Walter. Don't call me 'Wally' I never liked it. As mentioned, I'm about 6'6 white guy. 250lbs, I'm in shape with brown hair, blue eyes. Jeff is tanned, darker haired with matching dark eyes.
We come inside my house. We're both clad as casually in jeans and T-shirts. There's a football game on later. Jeff and I grew up together as kids and teenagers until he moved away right after we got out of high school. Moved across the country to go to college. He was the brains between us, I was the jock. I played the sports he couldn't. He passed the tests I couldn't. Typical odd couple stuff, you know? But we always got along and last week, Jeff had emailed me and said he was coming to visit family and that we should hang out like old times.
We're both now in our thirties. He's some kind of computer guy out west. Whereas I drive trucks for a shipping company and act as an Uber driver for extra cash. So grades won out over school sports I guess. Mind you, I never really tried to go to college. It was never anything I wanted to do. Further school wasn't for me. Never mind college debt hounding me for life.
"How do you afford this place working as a truck driver and part-time Uber driver?" Jeff asked me as we sat down in my living room. "Who's dick are you sucking?" he pressed.
I laughed. "I got luck playing scratch tickets and won like six figures. Used it to buy this place," I said as I gestured to my nice house. "The property taxes suck fucking ass! But it's better than still living with my parents, who haven't gotten over the fact I never went to college."
Jeff nodded. "The luck of fools and jocks."
"And for the record," I said, ignoring his latest joke. "You're the one who sucks dick, not me!" We both laughed again. We'd made jokes like that since our teens.
And it was true. Jeff had come out to me as gay after we turned sixteen. I have to be honest and admit I did suffer from the 'oh crap, my best friend is gay' discomfort that every stupid guy goes through when they find out about their best friend. But thankfully, I got over it really quickly. After that initial unease, which I blame on my own teenage hormonal crap, Jeff's being gay was never an issue again. And since Jeff was best friends with me nobody called him homo or fag because they knew I'd fucking rip off their goddamn heads.
"Your parents are still disappointed in you?" he asked now.
"Oh yes. Especially since now I'm over thirty and don't even have a wife or kids. I guess I'm forever to be a disappointment to them. But whatever."
"No current girlfriend?"
"Not lately," I sighed. I turned on the TV to the football game. "I can still pick up chicks. I'm tall and they want to find out if it matches."
"And they're thrilled when it does," said Jeff.
"Always are!" I replied as I cracked a beer. Jeff doesn't drink so I threw him a soda instead. "But it usually peters off after that. Nothing lasting. While picking up hot twenty-somethings and rocking their worlds is fun, any relationship hasn't lasted. Not yet anyway."
"I'll skip the 'you'll-find-someone-speech'," said Jeff as he cracked his soda. "And instead say, at least you're getting plenty of pussy."
"Not lately," I said.
"Lose yo game, Wally?" he asked me.
"Call me Wally again, and I'll bounce you out of here like you're being thrown out of a straight bar," I mock-threatened. He laughed. So did I. "And no," I continued. "I haven't lost my game. I took more shifts for driving and have been being an Uber driver more to deal with how fucking expensive everything is now!"
"Ah," said Jeff. He drank his soda, burped loudly, then threw the can into the trash. "Yeah. Inflation is a bitch. Fortunately my skills are always desired."
"Yeah, yeah, spare me the computer tech crap." I said. I fished his soda out of the trash and tossed it to the returnables bag.
"You returning empties? You that broke?" he asked.
"I always return empties," I said. "I don't understand why people don't do it. They are throwing money away by not doing so. Especially nowadays!"
Jeff nodded in agreement and said nothing. We watched the game for a while, occasionally asking each other about family. Jeff was in town to see his parents, who were celebrating fifty years of being married. I'd said most of what I needed to say about my parents so I talked about my younger sister, who is a doctor, who was married, who was currently pregnant with her first child. So you can guess which of their children my parents are more proud of! "But she'll be paying her debts for decades to come," I said. "And to be honest, her husband is kind of a puts."
"Annie's always been the strong one," said Jeff. "Everyone used to say I was going to wind up marrying her."
"Only until it came out that you wanted dick as bad as her!" I laughed.
"I can confidently say I've sucked more dick than her," was his reply.
"Okay! Now we're in 'I-don't-need-to-know' territory."
"Pussy!" said Jeff.
