Bending the Straight and Narrow

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I had always thought I might be gay, but I sure tried to convince myself otherwise. All through high-school and two years of college, I dated only women and fucked more than my fair share. I can't say I didn't enjoy it. Hell, I even imagined marrying my last girlfriend, having two kids and a dog, and continuing to living the lie. But as the relationship grew more intense, and I found more excuses to visit a nearby glory-hole, it became clear that it wasn't fair to me...and damn sure wasn't fair to her. The break-up was rough, and for a while I resisted the constant badgering from my roommate as to why I would give-up such a wonderful girl. After the hundredth time of being asked, I finally told Kevin what I'd been hiding from him for the past two years.

"Look, man...I love Pam too much to lie to her...when I'm not sure of who I am or what I want. I've been fighting the truth that I'm gay too long. So there you go...is that what you wanted to hear?" I said, clearly agitated.

Kevin just stared at me for what seemed like several minutes before finally finding the words to speak. "How could you possibly be gay, when you two have been fucking each other senseless every chance you got?"

"I'm not in the mood to analyze what a great fucking liar I am. Guess I thought if I got enough pussy, I'd stop thinking about dick." I knew the last line was purely about shock value...but it didn't keep me from saying it.

Kevin sat on his bed, rubbing his forehead and clearly struggling for what to do or say next. "I don't know, Mike...we've been living in cramped quarters for two years, and I never once that you might be into show tunes." He said, with a nervous chuckle. "Look...I don't get it, but I'm no homophobe. My uncle came out a few years ago...not that it was any great shock to anybody. The point is...how you want to deal with this is up to you...what you say to me, stays between us." He then calmly grabbed his backpack and left for class.

I sat at my desk trembling with nerves. Never in my life had I spoken about the truth that haunted me for so long. Kevin and I were roommates, and got along well...but I couldn't say we were particularly close friends. I even gave Pam a bullshit reason for breaking up. This was not the way I ever imagined outing myself. For the next hour I felt on the verge of throwing-up. Fortunately, I only had one class later in the afternoon.

++++++++++++

For the next few weeks, Kevin did his best to act as though nothing had changed, but it was clear he was at least mildly uncomfortable. I was miserable, and started to think I'd made a horrible mistake. Other than a few jerk-off sessions with a buddy in high school, and some anonymous blowjobs at a glory-hole in the library...I'd never really had anything close to a gay relationship. I was starting to question my sexuality all over again.

Kevin's girlfriend stopped by the room one afternoon, and gave me a surprise as she waited on him to return from class. "Don't be mad at Kevin for saying something to me." Lydia said, kissing me on the cheek. "He's worried about you...says you seem depressed."

"Yeah...well...try ruining your entire life in one afternoon. It's not exactly an uplifting experience." I mumbled, with a mix of anger and creeping sadness.

"Pam's been asking me about you. She wants to give you some space, but hopes you'll come back around." Lydia said, taking the chair across from me in the tiny dorm room. "I haven't told her a thing...and I get the impression she's in the dark about what's going on."

"Right now, nothing's going on." I snapped back. "I'm sorry...thanks for giving a shit...but nobody can help me with this fucked-up situation. I just have to deal with it, that's all."

"Holy shit...how did you go from jock-stud to drama queen so quickly?" Lydia said with equal doses of irritation and sarcasm. "Find a boyfriend and already, and see if that's what you really want. I tend to think this whole thing is just because you've been afraid to try a few things. Being curious is not the same as being gay, you dipshit!"

Lydia had a reputation for being direct and painfully blunt. She wasn't doing anything to disguise the way she felt today. I was about to get really pissed-off, when Kevin walked into the room.

"Uh-oh...I can see in your eyes you've given Mike a strong dose of your opinion." Kevin said, looking at his girlfriend's stern face. "Sorry man...but with two women hounding me over what was happening...something had to give."

I closed my eyes and allowed my anger to die-down. I realized they were concerned, and had to be thankful for that. "I'm sorry you guys have been caught in the middle of all this. I couldn't have handled this any worse."

"Screw the dorm food...let's grab a pizza and some beer." Kevin said, checking his wallet. "You can calm down, and Lydia can get pissed that I can't go home with her over the weekend."

"What?...You're going to make me tell mom you're not coming!? She thinks you walk on water, you know." Lydia said, clearly annoyed.

Although I was reluctant to go, it was nice to just hang out and feel like I was with friends. They may not have completely understood me, but at least they were there for me. Lydia still wasn't happy about going home without Kevin, but at least she was less pissed-off as the beers softened her mood. By the time the evening was over, Kevin and I managed to get back to the dorm and stumbled our way into bed.

The next morning, we had both slept late and I was the first to get out of bed. Kevin was still asleep with an obvious case of morning-wood in his boxers. It wasn't that big a deal, and had happened to both of us a handful of times over the last few years. I know Kevin had seen me in the same condition, and was cool enough not to mention it. Either of us would wake-up, notice the problem, and simply roll over to avoid being indecent. Given the topic of conversation over the last few days, I thought he might feel compromised, and tossed a blanket over him before heading down the hall for a shower. I'd been horned as hell the last few days without any relief, and seeing him that way wasn't doing me any good. The rest of the day went on about as normal as it could, with both of us feeling more comfortable than we had in a while.

It was Saturday morning and I rolled out of my top bunk as usual, only to find Kevin with another morning hard-on. Any guy knows they can be more of a problem at certain times than others, but this still seemed a bit odd. The covers were trapped underneath his legs, so I couldn't toss them over him this time. I made some noise moving a chair, and expected Kevin would get the message and roll over. Instead, he took a deep breath and lazily draped an arm over his eyes. I sat down, taking advantage of his blocked vision and stared at my roommates slumbering form. I always thought he was a good looking guy, but never wanted to make him think I looked at him in that way. As hard as I worked over the years to conceal my interest in cock, it was even more shocking that I spilled the beans so quickly. We both stay in great shape and are about the same height, but Kevin is just a bit more muscular. The most obvious difference between us is our complexion. I have dark hair, brown eyes, and a decent tan...but Kevin has the all-over pale complexion that goes with his reddish-blond hair and green eyes. None of that was of any great fascination for me until now, as my eyes ran up his toned thigh and into the leg opening of his boxers. From my seated position, and with the help of the morning sun, I could see the sparse hair that covered his scrotum...the fabric being tugged out of the way by his morning erection. My own prick was starting to swell as my gaze was drawn over Kevin's Chicago Bears boxers and to the tip of the tented shorts. The head of his cock pressed against the fly, with the opening revealing a glimpse of the swollen shaft. At this moment I never wanted anything so badly, but I had no intention of ruining every relationship I still had. I got up to get my robe, hoping the shower would be empty for a quick jerk-off session.

"Are you going to act like the faggot you say you are...or are you going to make me wait for Lydia to take care of this?" Kevin said in a gruff tone, his arm still covering his eyes

My heart immediately jumped into my throat, and for a second I hated him for calling me a faggot. Then again, he was about the only person who could possibly say that and get away with it. I was far too nervous to say a word. My body shook with a mix of fear and excitement as I slowly walked back toward the lower bunk. My hand trembled as I tentatively reached to trace a finger over the moist spot at the tip of his tent pole. Kevin took another deep breath as I watched the white t-shirt rise and fall over his stomach. Slipping a finger into the open fly of the boxers, I felt the warm, silky skin of Kevin's rod as I nervously fished his cock through the opening. I'd never seen my roommate's prick in this condition, and it was truly impressive. Not overly long, at a bit more than six inches, it still filled my hand with ample girth. The skin was even paler than the rest of him, with bluish lines of veins, easily seen under the soft skin that covered intensely hard flesh underneath. The pole throbbed as I gave a firm squeeze and a drop of clear nectar emerged at the tip of his circumcised dick.

"I...I don't know, man...are you sure?" I asked with a shaky voice, astonished that Kevin would ever allow me to do this.

"Shut up...convince me you're a fag." He barked gruffly, still hiding his eyes. "Suck it, or get the fuck away from me."

I'd never experienced this overtly dominate side of his personality before, but I didn't mind. If nothing else, it made me feel more like I was taking orders than willingly accosting my roommate. Kneeling on the floor, and leaning over the bed, I took the tip of his slick helmet into my mouth. Kevin's meat was the thickest I ever encountered...not that my experience was all that vast. Working up large amounts of spit, I managed to stretch my jaw wide enough to inch my way down the warm pole. By now, Kevin was leaking a steady stream of pre-cum into my mouth and the taste was fantastic...a bit sweeter than my own. After a few minutes, my jaw relaxed and I began sucking with enthusiasm. Kevin was largely silent, only grunting as I focused on the spot beneath the spongy helmet.

"Better at it than I thought you'd be." Kevin said hoarsely, reaching down to tug the opening of his boxers under his balls. "Lick'em, pansy-ass...lick my nuts."

I was too lost in lust not to obey. My tongue slid over the loose, wrinkled flesh that covered a pair of plum-sized orbs. I'd caught quick glimpses of Kevin naked after a shower, or changing clothes for a date...but never appreciated just how well equipped he really was. My dick might be longer, but he had me beat in every other measure. The whole package seemed to fit his more muscular, wrestler-type frame perfectly. The sunlight gleamed against pink hue of his sack and the blond hair that thinly covered it. Even the deeper red color of his pubic bush was easier to see with more of his junk out in the open. I lapped hungrily across his scrotum, up the swollen shaft, and devoured his throbbing organ over and over again. My own cock was now painfully hard and leaking profusely within my boxer-briefs. Kevin's nuts began to contract, and I knew my reward would soon arrive.

"Oh fuck...you'd better take it all!" Kevin groaned, now holding my head firmly in place as he thrust his hips upward. "If I'm willing to do this shit...you'd better not bitch about the result!"

Kevin roughly pushed my face tight against his crotch and held me in place. His cock swelled even larger in my mouth as stream after stream of hot spunk shot down my throat and leaked around the edges of my lips. His seed was warm and salty, but not unpleasant, as I struggled to swallow his load without gagging. I barely touched my own prick before cumming and soiling my underwear. I was still working Kevin's softening prick when he abruptly pushed me away and rose from the bed.

"Never had a dude blow me before...but you're damn good at it." Kevin said, grabbing his towel and shower supplies. "Don't go expecting anything from me. I just had to know how serious you were about this shit." He then quickly left the room.

I was highly confused, and yet strangely satisfied, as I sat on the floor with cum on my lips and a huge stain on my underwear. Clearly I had just been used, and should have been pissed-off...but anger never came to me. I'd never been forced into a submissive role before, and was shocked to find that aspect is what really got me off. Regardless, I still couldn't understand why "Mr. Nice Guy" suddenly did a Jekyll-and-Hyde routine to get his rocks off. I was sitting in my robe and still collecting my thoughts when Kevin returned from the shower. He walked in the door and barely looked at me...as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

"Hey...asshole...you mind telling me what brought that on?" I asked with mock indignity.

Kevin sighed deeply and paused a moment before speaking. "Lydia thinks you just more "adventurous" than you are "gay"". He said, using his fingers to form quotation marks in the air. "We both think you're too hung up on being either totally straight or gay. Neither of us can imagine you in an emotional relationship with a dude. Your attitude just isn't like any of the gay friends we know." Kevin's tone was matter-of-fact and confident, without any sense of remorse or regret.

"Okay. So how does practically forcing me to suck you off help enlighten me?" I asked, now more confused than before.

"Look, man...I think you know that I'm a hundred percent about pussy." Kevin said, looking at my confused expression. "Ok...ninety-eight percent pussy...the point is, I'm not afraid of experiencing a good time. I think you're the same, you just haven't put it into context yet."

"I'm afraid I'm still not getting it."

"Great...let me draw you a fucking picture." Kevin said, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "Pam has confided to Lydia several times what a great lover you are. She thinks you have a kinkier side than you're often comfortable with. Pam would like you to experiment and get comfortable. You should be honored as hell to have a woman that loves you that much."

"So did you all get together and dream-up what happened this morning?" I asked, with the fog in my brain only barely getting clearer.

"No...the girls don't know I took the initiative." Kevin now sat on the other chair to face me. "If you're trolling glory-holes and hooking-up online...you need to stop that shit. It's not fair to expose Pam to god-knows-what. Seriously, think about what a deeply emotional relationship with a dude would be like for you. I'm not sure you have."

"I'm not sure I want you guys all into my shit like this." I replied, uncomfortable that my friends seemed to have put more thought into this than I had.

"You put us into your shit when you dumped Pam without giving her a good reason why." Kevin said curtly, smacking me upside the head. "Not to mention the out-of-nowhere announcement that you're a complete fag."

"I'm just trying to deal with where my thoughts have been going more and more lately. It didn't seem right to fuck Pam, and then think about dick the rest of the day."

"There's the core of the problem." Kevin said with smug satisfaction. "You're thinking about cock...not a boyfriend. I have a study table to get to, but here's how this shit is going to go down. Are you listening?"

"By all means...I can't wait to hear where this is going." I answered honestly.

"I'm not into guys, but I am into getting-off. Lydia is a real trooper, but she doesn't always want it as much as I do. I know you're not going to blab, so your mouth is as good as anybody's." Kevin said while getting up and putting things in his backpack. "Being all touchy-feely with a dude just isn't happening for me...so don't expect any build-up or thank you gifts. Don't ask me for it...you'll know when I'm interested. If you're not into it, or you found the man of your dreams...just tell me to back off." Kevin grabbed his jacket and walked toward the door. "I'm going to be your safe and clean cock supply until you work this shit out. Stay the hell out of that basement restroom in the library...everybody knows what goes on there anyway."

I sat there truly stunned...and with a hell of a lot to think about.

+++++++++++++++

After a few heart-felt letters and phone calls from Pam, I was feeling like the complete jerk I was. We had been together for two years and our time together was always fun. It was insensitive, at the very least, to cut things off the way I did. The fact that she was still willing to speak to me was a testament to her superior character. To avoid awkward silences, we decided to go on a double date with Kevin and Lydia. The evening was fun, and just being near Pam felt comforting and reassuring. It started to become clear that my friends may have been right about me all along, but I was taking it easy with Pam. I still couldn't reconcile my need for her along with my desire for more taboo interests.

It had been almost two weeks since my episode with Kevin, and I thought perhaps he felt the lesson had been learned. I tried to broach the subject with him once, but was quickly knocked-down and reminded that what happened was on terms that worked for him and that I needed to focus on my own shit. Later that night, Pam called and we shared a warm conversation. A date was arranged for two days later, and I actually looked forward to the end of the week.

"Sounds like you guys might be on the mend." Kevin said over his shoulder while watching TV.

"Yeah...I think so. She's been much too good to me." I said, hanging up the phone and sitting back at my desk. "I thought you and Lydia were going out tonight."

"She has a cold. Plans to quarantine herself for a few days." He mumbled, still staring at the television and with a tone that was more stern than usual.

I might have asked if something was bothering him, but I brushed it off and returned to the magazine I'd been reading. I never heard Kevin get up, but my head turned as the sound of a zipper echoed in my left ear. Catching me off-guard, Kevin quickly pushed his jeans down to his knees and pressed my face against his flaccid cock.

"If you've been avoiding the library basement, then you're ready to help me out." He said gruffly, prying my mouth open with his fingers and slipping his prick past my lips.

"Mmmpphh...mmmppphhh!" was the only sound I could make as Kevin held my head tight against the red pubic hair of his crotch. The flesh resting against my tongue started to swell, quickly filling my mouth and inching its way down my throat. Placing my hands against his thighs, I pushed away and gagged for air. Kevin's hard cock sprung from my lips, sending a string of spit across my face.

Grabbing the hair at the top of my head, Kevin didn't say a word as he smacked the side of my face with his angry tool. Never in my life would I have imagined getting into this kind of rough play. Kevin either understood me better than I did myself, or simply didn't care. I was still choking when he pressed the tip of his manhood against my lips and pushed back into my mouth. Within a few moments, I had accepted my fate and began providing the best blowjob I could muster. Feeling more confident, I reached out to tug on my roommate's large balls while he pushed my face down to the root with every thrust of his hips. I could have sucked on that prime piece of meat all night...but Kevin had other ideas.

"Lose your pants...now!" Kevin barked, loud enough to be assertive, but not loud enough for the entire hallway to hear.