Between the Brothers

CHAPTER 14: GOODBYE, HELLO MY LOVE

I let the words he had just spoken sink in. My mind flashed with memories of the first day I met Ryan at the Boston Common. If I had known then what I know now, I would have never flirted with him. That was a lie.

As much as I wished I had done things differently, I knew at the bottom of my heart that I would have still chosen to go for him, knowing that I would then still subsequently do all the horrid things I did over.

"Did you hear me?" His smooth voice broke through to me.

I searched his eyes, looking for a hint that he might have been lying. There was none. He was there genuinely in need of my help, but I had no help that I could offer. I had made a choice, and I needed to stick with it in order to protect all of us.

I apologized, "I'm sorry. You came here for nothing. I can't help you. I have nothing left to give."

"Marcus? Please," he pleaded before me.

His words fell on deaf ears. I turned my back on him. I unlocked the door, but the entire time, this tiny part of me wanted him to reach out and place a hand on my shoulder. I just wanted to feel some sort of touch from him. There was nothing but space and emptiness.

I opened the door and stepped into my apartment. I turned to close the door, and I caught a brief glimpse of him. My actions soured his face, and his ego, no doubt, had been bruised. The door shut, and I locked it.

I figured he'd walk away. It took him a moment to collect his thoughts. He knocked on my door softly, careful not to put me on defense.

"Marcus," he called. "I get it now. Cameron." He paused, and then he said,

"Cameron, fucked me!"

That got my attention as I was walking away. I stopped in my tracks. His admission registered within the confines of my mind. My curious nature wanted to know more. I couldn't resist, no matter how much I wanted to.

I opened the door. Ryan was right there with his hands pressed up against the frame and his eyes watery-like. I knew that look. It was the same one I had after my first night with Cameron. It's that look when you're trying to figure out how someone had just turned your world upside down in the best way, but you know it was wrong to have done it.

"It was only a matter of time," I whispered as I stepped aside and let him into my apartment.

He flopped down on the couch and put his head in his hands. I left him alone with his thoughts as I prepared some coffee for us. When I came back in, he looked ready to talk. I sat across from him and handed him his coffee. He took a sip.

"You still remember how I like it," he smiled.

"Why would I forget?"

"I was jealous, Marcus. The two people I loved most in life were sharing something that I wanted to be part of," he confessed to me.

"You also wanted Cameron!" The words came out slightly harsh.

He looked away from me. I would assume he had to think about his next words. He then met my gaze and nodded his head.

Ryan exhaled slowly, and then he said, "Dad saw it in me at an early age. He saw himself. He was in love with his own brother. He saw his brother in Cameron."

Ryan filled me in on everything that had happened. I learned all about Gill's past with his brother and how he sought his demented comfort in Cameron's arms. Then, of course, how Ryan confessed to his feelings for Cameron.

"The night after we all spent at the hotel, I got up that morning and took a photo of the two of you. I saw it then. I was able to capture the way you guys held each other. I bowed out. There was no room for me. I was just the placeholder--the guy in between the two of you. I made a safe choice for everyone involved. I choose me." As I recanted the events, I felt a sadness in my heart. A sadness for all that I knew I would never have.

Ryan bared his soul, "That's where you're wrong. You weren't just the guy in between. You were and still are "The Guy." The only guy for us. We both love you, and we love you differently, but it's deep. Just like Cameron loves us both differently. He misses you so much. If I'm being honest, this thing with Cameron and I will never last long term, but you and Cam are special. He's never going to love anyone the way he loves you, Marcus."

"I lied to you. I told you I had never been torn between two guys before. I had been in one before. I came between two friends. Their lives were ruined because of me. I didn't want that to happen with you and Cameron." I wiped the tears that started to fall from my eyes.

"Cam is drinking every night. He could very well drink himself to death. He needs you. I need you. We need each other." Ryan's words carried a certain brokenness to them.

"So, classes start back up in a few weeks. Are you ready?" It was my attempt to change the subject.

He sighed in frustration, "You're trying to deflect. I'll play along. I'm not returning this semester. I have to be there for Cam if you're not."

"Look, I tried to be there for Cam. You told me to leave, so I went to Cam. I told him we could be together, and he rejected me."

"What did you expect?" he yelled. You didn't pick him--not truly. He was a default choice after I told you to leave. In his mind, he thinks he's not good enough to be loved."

I knew what Ryan was saying was true. I'd had enough conversations with Cameron to know that he thought he was just some hunk with an amazing cock. He was truly more than that. He was beautiful, gifted, smart, protective, and intuitive. He made me feel seen and special. I contemplated my actions, and I thought back on my time with Cameron.

Every beautiful yet dirty thing we did flashed before me. Suddenly, I could feel his arms wrapped around my perfectly framed body. I could smell his scent and his sex. His deep voice was in my ear, calling me "Mar," as only he could do it. The thought of him alone made my knees buckle. The idea of being around him made my heart grow faint.

I caved, "I guess I need to book a flight."

"No need. I already booked us a flight for tomorrow morning," Ryan said with a smile.

"And what if I hadn't changed my mind," I asked.

"I wasn't worried," he said.

"You think you know me?"

"I don't think. I do know you," he said, followed by an innocent giggle.

His laughter was contagious. I found myself laughing as well. The energy in the room shifted from a tense nervousness to a light-hearted vibe. It was like we remembered who we once were to each other. It had been a month of torture for me and for him. We had both been suffering alone.

"Can I ask one last favor," he asked.

"You are almost out of favors sir, but go head," I said.

"Can I crash here tonight? On the sofa."

I didn't immediately answer him. My hesitation gave him cause for concern.

"I can get a hotel."

I quickly protested, "No. It's fine."

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything."

"It's fine. You're not imposing. I just got lost in my mind for a moment."

"Okay. Just as long as you're back, I'm happy." He said it with a smile that warmed my heart more than I had expected.

That night, I tossed and turned in my bed. No matter how hard I tried to get comfortable, it just seemed impossible. As I stared up at the dark ceiling, my mind went blank, and memories of the time I spent with Ryan started to replay. All the fun, sexy, and romantic times we spent loving each other. The moments of quietness when the air was still, and all I felt was his energy, grounding me.

My memories were suddenly broken by the sound of something crashing in the living room. I peeled back the covers. I was in a skimpy pair of black briefs, but I didn't care. Ryan had seen and been inside of me more than any other guy I had ever been with.

The apartment was dark, and it was quiet outside, which I absolutely loved. The quietness reminded me of being back on Ryan's family ranch. Ryan was staring out the window. He was also in a pair of briefs. That was how we slept when we were together in the city. It was always either in the nude or just our underwear. The memory made me smile.

He felt my energy and my eyes. He quickly turned around. His eyes slowly drifted down my body and then back up to my eyes. I don't know how long we stared at one another, but what I do know is we found each other in the silence of it all. I could feel him, and he could feel me, though we weren't touching at all.

"Couldn't sleep either," he asked.

"I need to tell you something. I want to be honest about everything. Being in the middle of you and Cam seems to be a pattern in my life. Three years ago-"

I told him the entire truth about my past with Benito and Tyshawn. He stood there, never blinking or moving. He listened quietly to every word I said. Not once did he let on what he was thinking or feeling. At times, I wished I knew what he was feeling, but I focused on giving him the truth about my past.

When I finished telling him the whole story, he still remained quiet. His silence felt almost deadly. I feared that he hated me for my past and for the games I had played with him and Cameron.

"The first day we met wasn't the first time I had seen you. I had seen you every day for two weeks straight in the Common. When you ran into the guy on the bike, it was the first time you had ever seen me. I was so happy you had finally seen me.

So, when we fucked, it didn't feel quick to me. I had been trying to build up my courage to ask you out. You were different from any guy I had ever met. I left your apartment that day, and I called my dad, and I told him that he had to meet you. Then, the day I got so upset with my professor that I cried around you, and you held me in your arms and comforted me and told me my tears were beautiful, I swore to myself I'd never let you go."

"Ry, you never told me any of this before."

"I know. I didn't know how to be super expressive and passionate. You were the first guy that I ever made me feel like a man for being in touch with my emotions. I just didn't know how to properly articulate them. Six months into our relationship, I started thinking about our future. Us on a ranch somewhere with a white picket fence living the American dream. I care about your past, present, and future. Nothing can ever make me stop loving you, Marcus."

His admission surprised me in a beautiful way and also complicated my emotions. "You thought about our future?" I did as well. I thought I was moving too fast in my mind. I was thinking about it three months into the relationship: two kids and a dog living in the big city in a penthouse in the sky."

He laughed, "Two dogs and a summer house in the country."

"And a winter house in the snowy mountains," I smiled, "it would have been a beautiful life. We're so young and dumb."

"I think we're just young and in love. I love you so much that I've learned to be selfless. I have to watch you go and love my brother."

He quickly looked away. He didn't want me to see the tears he wiped from his eyes, but it was too late. I saw them. I felt him, and I understood him. Turning my feelings off for him was harder than I thought it would be.

"The first time I knew we were special was when we were at that bar near Fenway Park. I looked at you, and then that song started playing."

"Song?"

I sang, "And I don't want the world to see me. 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

He laughed, "I remember you sang the whole song, and I said to you, "You're a white man trapped in a black man's body."

I nodded, "You did, and I said, "I'm Marcus, and Marcus is-"

"Everything," we both finished the sentence together.

"You are everything to me," he said.

I closed my eyes, shook my head, and said, "Alexa, play "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls."

As the song began to play, my feet moved without any effort on my part. Ryan's eyes lit up as I moved closer to him. He held our hands up and then connected. He spun me around, and we began to dance. He pulled my body close to him. My backside was pressed against his front. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

I could feel his energy pouring out of his skin onto mine. It sent my pulse racing. His breath on the side of my neck sent my body into overdrive. Then he placed his lips on the nape of my neck. I looked up into his eyes.

"For old time's sake. A proper goodbye," he whispered.

Our lips met, and everything inside of me exploded. He had never kissed me like that before. It charged me like a particle accelerator. Every nerve, atom, neutron, proton, and electron around us and inside us fired up. He lifted me into the arm, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me into the bedroom.

The moment we were in the bedroom, I slid down his body. We were both sporting massive erections. I kissed him again and reached inside his underwear. I wrapped my hand around his member. The flesh was hot, and I could feel the blood pulsing in it. Gently, I stroked him, and he moaned in my mouth.

I peeled his underwear off, and he did the same to me. Our hard dicks rubbed against one another. We were both excited for what was to come. Ryan wrapped his hand around my dick and stroked me. We moved in unison with one another. Heat flowed from both of us.

Ryan took his other hand and grabbed a handful of my ass cheek. He caressed it lovingly and with such great detail. I felt like I was in the hands of a Swedish masseur. He pressed our bodies close together as we continued to kiss like star-crossed lovers.

He used both his hands to massage my glutes. Our cocks were pressed together as he pried my heavy cheeks apart. His index finger ran across my tight hole. His touch sent me into a hot mess of erotic emotions. I pinched his nipples, and he whimpered. As they became erect, he slapped my ass.

I dropped to my knees to taste his cock. It looked just the way I remembered it. It was a long, white, cut cock that turned color when I brought him pleasure. His penis had already started to turn red before I took it into my mouth. I opened my mouth and swallowed his cock. He let out a low growl. I moved my head back and forth on his cock. His balls rested against my chin as I took every inch into my mouth.

"Oh fuck. I missed your mouth, baby."

His words of approval and praise fueled my passion and hunger. I opened my mouth wide and stuck my tongue. He took his heavy cock and slapped my tongue. My lips formed a seal around the head of his cock. I sucked it and gently tugged on his balls. His body began to tremble under my touch. I rolled my tongue along the shaft of his fuck stick. His breathing increased, and he began to pant. His cock tasted like cherries on a hot summer day. I was reminded of how much I enjoyed pleasing him.

He pulled me to my feet and kissed me once more. Our lips were drawn to one another like rain to the earth. There was so much passion in every kiss. He turned me around and had me get on all fours on the bed. My round, perfect chocolate ass was displayed properly for him.

He took his time and ran his hands all over my body. He explored me like it was his first time ever touching me, and it made me feel alive. Ryan's hands moved over the back of my thighs and then in between my legs. His fingers grazed my balls, and I felt a tingling sensation all over my body.

I took a deep breath as he ran his hands over the curves of my ass and then across my back. Very slowly, his finger moved up my spine, sending a chill through my entire body. I felt like I was being teased. I wanted to scream for him to fuck me, but I fought the urge. My cock hung between my legs, fully aroused and dripping with precum from my slit.

"Your body feels so smooth, Marcus."

I could only moan. His touches had me drifting off into a place he had never sent me before. It was erotic and relaxing. I felt a sting as he slapped my ass, and then he pulled my right cheek apart. My hole was no longer hidden, and I was ready for him to do whatever he felt led to do.

Ryan buried his beautiful face in my ass. His tongue moved and down my crack, and he wrapped his hand around my cock and stroked me. I let out a loud moan. Ryan took his tongue and pushed it against my hole. I slightly began to move my ass back and forth. His tongue pushed through my barrier.

I moaned out, "Oh shit daddy! Eat my pussy!"

Ryan removed his tongue and then slowly inserted his finger into my anus. His digit moved through my channel slowly, and he took my cock into his mouth. My legs began to shake as a direct result. He removed his finger and then spat on my hole. He pushed his tongue back inside of me and swiped my insides. His tongue felt like a miracle of some sort. I arched my back as his finger slid back inside of me with his tongue. I gripped the sheets and let him have his way, eating me out.

Ryan stood behind me and slid his cock back and forth across the split of my ass. His dick was hugged by my ass cheeks. It felt sensual having him sliding his cock all over my ass. I was ready and open for him. I wanted it badly, and so did he. I could tell by the way he touched me.

Ryan fed his cock to my hungry hole. He slowly and agonizingly fed me his cock inch by inch. I opened up like a flower, taking inch by inch. After what felt like forever, I could feel his dark bush of pubes on my ass, and I knew he was all the way inside of me. I let out a loud moan when he bottomed out in me. Ryan started to fuck me. His dick moved in and out of me. It felt amazing the way he was hitting my walls. His cock had me feeling full. He picked up his pace, but he made sure to touch my body in my most sensitive areas. He ran his hand along my back and moved his hips in a circular motion. My moans grew a bit louder.

"Spread your ass for me," he commanded.

"Oh shit. Fuck me, Ry," I cried out in pleasure.

I reached back and spread my cheeks, and he started to really give me a long dicking. His dick moved effortlessly through me. I could feel his balls smashing into mine, but all I wanted was to scream for more. His dick was hitting deep in my guts. I couldn't hold myself up anymore.

I fell flat on my stomach on the bed. Ryan continued to fuck me like I was the only man in the world for him. With me flat on my stomach, Ryan sat on my ass. His dick went deeper into my bowels. He bounced up and down in my pussy for a minute, and then he pulled his dick all the way out. He slammed it back inside of me, and I let out a scream.

Ryan cried, "Fuck, Marcus! You have the best pussy ever."

He rolled off and onto his back. I quickly straddled him and eased down on his cock. He slapped my ass, and I started to rock back and forth on his cock. He gripped my cheeks, and I rode him. I bounced up and down on his dick. He tried to match my skills by fucking up into me.

I was on a mission to fuck his brains out. I rode him like he had never been ridden before. Up and down I went. My ass kept slamming into his thighs, making loud clapping noises. I worked the muscles in my ass on his dick. Ryan's eyes were rolling as I gave him my boy pussy.

"Fuck, Ry. This dick so good."

"Yeah? You like my cock?" He asked with this big grin as he fucked up into me faster. I could feel his balls slapping my backside almost. He was deep in me, and then he flipped me on my back. I lifted my legs. He had access to my wet hole. He stuck his tongue inside of me. He licked my insides and then pushed his strong dick back inside of me.

He fucked me slow. His strokes were nice and long. I clenched the muscles in my ass around his cock. He fucked me faster and harder than before. I could feel the gooey cream in my ass make its way out of me. He had learned the art of seduction and passion fucking. He wasn't like Cam, but he knew how to fuck me.

"Fuck! I'm bout to nut in you." He screamed.

He fucked me harder and then seconds later he let out a loud growl and I felt him exploded in my anus. He shot rope after rope of hot nut into my ass.